Adventures in Online Dating

While in New York, I was persuaded to give Tinder another try, by which I mean I handed over my phone and got to play on my travelling companion’s in return while she set up my profile and employed an exceptionally liberal right-swipe policy. I thought hey, it’s a bit of a laugh in the city, but when I come home I’ll exorcise the app from my phone and go back to perusing erotic literature.

But for whatever reason, I didn’t. I dicovered swiping is actually pretty fun, it taps into my inner asshole’s desire to judge people and even gamifies it - an equally genius and morally despicable move on Tinder’s behalf. When I kept using it in Guernsey, my expectations were less than zero, they were in fact negative, I assumed the app would damage my self esteem, and treated it as indulging my self destructive side a little. As it turned out… I was kinda wrong. I’m borderline enjoying it.

Sure, my match rate is very low, I’d guess something around 10%. When I had the app at uni it was definitely lower, maybe something like 1-2%, and I never really had a meaningful conversation with anyone on there. This time, I messaged everyone I matched with - and given my low expectations, I didn’t expect responses. Everything I said was pretty dumb, I didn’t try to be especially impressive, or overthink things. Most of what I said was purely to make me laugh, to satiate my own awful sense of humour. My overarching objective, repeated inside my brain as my materialistic mantra, was not to take it seriously.

And, as it happens, it worked, and I’ve had a few genuine conversations with people. Sure, it’s only been a few days, things haven’t exactly gone far, but it’s enjoyable just to have that easy human connection, and try and get to know someone, and for them to reciprocate.

Stay tuned for part II after I’ve found my wife.