Auf Wiedersehen, Effective Altruism

Published in Effective Altruism - 5 mins to read

I love cults. Not studying them from the outside; actually being in them. If we generously exclude being in a university sports team, then the first time I succumbed to one was in 2016; fortunately I managed to extricate myself after only a few months. This turned out to be a kind of gateway experience, as in 2022 I, ever the willing Alice, tumbled down the rabbit hole of Effective Altruism, a dream I have only recently awoken from.

I am being facetious, mostly. I still have a lot of affection for EA, despite its more cultish tendencies. This post is about why I’ve decided that placing it at the centre of my personal and professional life is no longer the right choice for me, but it is not intended to offer any recommendations to the community.

In September 2024, I started a new job at an Open Philanthropy-backed organisation1. I was thrilled to have finally secured a much-lauded “EA job”, and hoped that I would find fulfilment in my work that I’d previously been missing; I would finally be working on something good for the world! This was doubly a relief given the stress as the job before that had significantly affected both my mental and physical health, but I’d persisted with it in the name of “career capital” as popularised by 80000 Hours2.

In March 2025, I was told that my employment would not be continuing beyond my probation period. This was fair. I hadn’t dealt well with the ambiguity in my role, I had let anxiety get in the way of pursuing potential collaborations, and I could’ve worked more hours. They could likely get someone better for the same salary they were paying me.

What was not fair was the way in which the situation had been handled, which was undoubtedly the least professional experience I’ve had in my career to date (again, the details are largely irrelevant). I was absolutely devastated. I’d spent years working hard to get an “EA job”, and after the relief of finally getting one, I was told that, actually, I wasn’t good enough. I spent a couple of months pretending to myself that it was fine, I’d bounce back, I’d found it stressful working there anyway - it was a blessing in disguise to be let go. And then I snapped, and fell into my first serious depressive episode since the pandemic.

I’m not trying to elicit sympathy, although admittedly part of the motivation to write this is as further catharsis. I learned a lot from the experience, and like I said, I agree with the decision, just not the way in which it was handled. There was no malice involved. The point I’m making is that at that moment, I felt totally alienated from the EA community, despite having been staunchly dedicated to it for multiple years. I felt deeply ashamed of what had happened, and bitter about having this object of desire taken away from me; so I exiled myself.

Here’s the thing: while some individuals within EA are warm and approachable, the community at large is not. This is largely by design3, which meant I felt like there was nowhere to go when I was struggling4. Impact is great, I’m glad that people are maximising for it, but I’ve realised that’s not the kind of community that I want to be part of and devote so much of my attention towards.

The reason I have no plans to return to the EA community5 crystallised in a recent conversation with a friend. She’d met a handful of EAs but had no particular interest in the movement. She commented that while she thought the fundamental idea was a worthy one, every EA she’d met had been obsessed with status. For the time I was heavily involved with the community, I was accruing status, getting invited to parties, meeting people who already knew who I was, and it felt good. Once I suddenly lost a big part of that status, a load-bearing part of my identity crumbled. Therein lies the danger in participating in a community with such a heavy focus on status; status games are always zero-sum, and zero-sum games are for suckers. The only way to win is not to play.

Naturally, this means I’m in the market for a new cult community. If you know of a good one, I’d appreciate any recommendations.

  1. If you’re fortunate enough not to already know of Coefficient Giving, née Open Philanthropy, they are the biggest EA-flavoured philanthropic foundation. The exact organisation I joined is incidental. ↩︎

  2. The Effective Altruism career advice service. ↩︎

  3. And I’m not claiming the design is flawed either - EA is focused on helping those most in need, not those with privilege whining that they lost their well-paying tech job. This is a good thing! ↩︎

  4. I am aware that I could’ve gone to the CEA Community Health team, however a) shame and b) I’ve only ever heard of the Community Health team dealing with cases of harassment and other bad behaviour. I wasn’t looking for restorative justice; my therapist was far better at helping me than I think they would’ve been. ↩︎

  5. Needless to say I am going to maintain existing friendships with people involved in EA, and I also intend to keep my giving pledge. ↩︎

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