Beware of Dog III

2019 is off to a flying start, I think I am happier today than any day I was in 2018. I feel like I could cry tears of joy. I know this feeling won't last, and it will hurt again soon, but I don't care. I want to enjoy these moments for what they are.

I saw the dog again today. I got to play with, pick it up, feed it. And the most amazing thing happened - I didn't feel scared at all. And I knew I wouldn't be scared again in the future.

I feel like I can see in colour for the first time, like a tumour has been removed from my brain and the chronic pain has finally ceased after years of grinding me down. It's an indescribable relief.

To depart from the analogy for a second - the real reason I have managed to conquer this particular anxiety is through perseverance. It's taken a lot of work to get to this point, I wanted to give up so many times, but I didn't, regardless of the pain. And now it's finally gone. And it wasn't fluke - I actually did it myself. I didn't fail or underachieve, instead I achieved more than I ever thought possible.

And if I can beat this, I can beat anything.