Don't Go For Lunch

Having had a couple of weeks to ingest Mark Manson's advice in Models, I can say that the piece of advice which I have benefitted the most from is this:

Don't go for lunch.

Lunch is my favourite meal of the day. Since I've started intermittent fasting, I get hungry in the mornings, so I'm always excited for my habitual midday sandwich. My lunch has become a private, ritualistic affair. And I am making a point to stop involving anyone else.

I have been guilty in the past of thinking that going for lunch is an acceptable medium for social interaction, but Manson has shown me the light. Going for lunch is awful. You have to choose where to go, rarely an easy task - somewhere neither too cheap nor too expensive, which sets the right tone for your interaction. You have to choose what to eat, and then eat it in front of someone, which can often be awkward and weird. You have to figure out who is gonna pay, and if you're a lady then I often feel obliged to at least offer to pay, even if we are very clearly only friends and this wasn't a date, and then sometimes you refuse and we end up making it a whole 'thing' and I don't need any more 'thing's in my life, I have enough already thank you very much. If you're both on your lunch break then you have an hour at most, some of which is spent chewing, leaving you with nowhere near enough time to progress past small talk and converse about anything meaningful or interesting. You have to sit facing each other, and when there's nothing to say, the silence is deafening as you avert your gaze.

So don't go for lunch. Everyone's been for lunch a million times. Do something different - try to have some kind of shared experience with the person or people you're meeting up with. I took my own advice at the weekend, and went walking on the cliffs with someone who I had previously met for lunch every two or three months or so. It was infinitely more enjoyable than getting an overpriced toasted sandwich together - our conversation was more natural, honest and interesting, and I felt closer to them afterwards. It was the most connected I have felt to a human being in a long time, and I am going to do it again soon.