Frustration

It has been a frustrating day at work, and obviously by at work I mean in the 4 metre square “office” adjacent to my bedroom where my desk touches three of the four walls. It has been my first especially troublesome day in my new job, although it’s largely of my own doing - I have been incredibly stuck, all day. My code hasn’t materially changed in the 8 hours I spent poring over it, and remains every bit as deficient now as it was when I woke up.

Problems like this feel like they are taunting you. I have tried everything I can think of, Googled every possible combination of key words that might yield a fruitful result, scoured documentation, trawled through as many StackOverflow threads as I could get my hands on. As best I can tell, my code should fulfill its intended purpose, however it still obstinately refuses. It seems to me that kinds of experiences are part and parcel of being a programmer, but they still suck.

The feeling has also spilled over into my non-work day too. Even if I have closed my laptop until tomorrow, I’m still annoyed at my perceived lack of progress, and I feel irritable and anxious. Perhaps this is inevitable (and maybe even a good thing in some regards), but it highlights that I’m not entirely sure what healthy work/life boundaries look like in practicality.

Either way, first thing tomorrow, I’m going to ask for help and get it sorted. Hopefully the frustration of today will give way to the relief of having it done tomorrow, and I can ride that wave outside office hours as well.