Today I’ve been feeling mentally restless. I haven’t been able to focus on anything, instead flitting my attention back and forth every couple of minutes, always feeling slightly anxious and distinctly un-peaceful. Trying to do nothing and focus on my breathing feels hard, I feel like I am constantly in need of my next hit of dopamine but am unable to find it. I hate days like these - they feel deeply unproductive, wholly unrewarding and largely self-inflicted.
The culprits are the usual suspects - too much time on my phone, too much sugar, not enough exercise, vegetables, reading or meditation. Even though I’m fully aware of how the latter will all help me feel better and of the detrimental effects the former have on my day-to-do wellbeing, it’s alarmingly and frustrating how easy it is to slip back into the habit of instant gratification.