Watching more Dota again today and remembered the way I used to feel about this game five years ago. I would spend all my free time watching, playing or studying the game, I would make my girlfriend watch professional matches with me, I wanted to be as good as I possibly could be. At one point I think I was actually pretty good, when I was trying hard to know all the mechanics and interactions in the game, and kept up with the meta, but now I am clueless about all those things. I still feel passionate about this game but now it is very different, but I wish I could feel the way I used to.