Seeing Yourself

In a first for the blog, today we have a guest writer. She is someone who continually inspires me and who I look up to immensely, and so I am beyond excited I managed to pester her into typing something up for me. On a topic that feels equally as relevant and important to me as it seems to be to her, it is of course the fabled Polly Thompson.

Something that we’re told a lot is that we should care less about what other people think about us. On one level I am totally onboard with this. Since leaving school I have spent a lot of time trying to build up my own identity and self-confidence in a way that relies less on other people’s validation. I think it has successfully made me more self-assured and maybe even happier. But I also find myself fearing compliments and the inevitable shallow ego boost they bring, reminding me how much progress I have to make.

Recently I’ve been thinking about lots of things I once thought of in black and white and realising that possibly nothing is actually so clear-cut. I have thought a lot about the impact of other people on how we see and define ourselves. Being self-aware is hugely important, but other people play such a big role in informing you of how you come across, how your actions impact others, and revealing those sides of you you’re desperately trying to ignore. I’ve always thought of this in terms of constructive criticism. Recently I’ve realised it’s true for compliments and affection too. Someone close to you won’t say something nice unless they really mean it. They’ve just handed you something to love about yourself on a plate (easier said than done). I wish I was better at articulating what I love about the people I care about. I wish they all loved themselves as much as I love them.