The Dual Pains of Injury

Yesterday, I hurt my back while squatting in the gym. On the last rep of my top set, I felt a distinct crunch in my lower spine and immediately though "oh god, this could be really bad - this could be a disc injury". After 24 hours I am thankfully fairly confident that it is not so, given that I have full sensation and no pain in my glutes and legs, and it is just a muscular issue, presumably a spasm. That's little more than a silver lining though, as it is still agonising, and I can neither lie, sit or stand without pain. Walking is almost impossible, and I surely look like a fucking idiot when I try.

So on one hand, the injury is physically (very) painfully. But on the other it is similarly emotionally painful and injurious to my ego, as this was an entirely preventable injury and I even wrote about pretty much the exact circumstances it happened in recently - but this time the actual injury is worse, rubbing salt in the wound.

The major contributing factors to this injury occurred wholly outside the gym. I have been constantly pushing myself in everything I do, as always, and the same is true in the gym, despite still struggling to get back into the swing of my programme after the Christmas holidays. If I try to put more effort into everything, of course something is going to slip, and on this occasion I was exceptionally lucky that that thing was not a disc.

I am trying to fit so much into my days that I want to get my workouts done as quickly as possible, meaning I neglected to warm up as well as I should have, which is especially stupid on heavy squat days. I have also been hugely stressed recently, which inevitably takes just as much of a physical toll on my body as it does a mental and emotional toll on my mind.

I should've had the self awareness to realise that I had a very high chance of injury by doing what I did, but sadly my ego, poor judgment, and distractedness got in the way, and now I am paying the price for it. I will probably unable to return to the gym for 1-2 weeks, and in that time I'll be seriously re-evaluating my current approach and goals within lifting and fitness