The Grass is Greener

The phrase 'the grass is always greener [on the other side]' fills me with an incandescent rage when I am its intended recipient (and indeed a rather more tepid peturbation in any other context). Not only should it hold no place in mature and productive discourse, it is degrading, damaging, and should be removed from our collective lexicon forthwith.

'The grass is greener' is the equivalent of a parent telling a petulant child 'because I said so', and has roughly equal merit as a logical counterpoint. It is wholly synonymous with the following: 'You are ignorant and naive. I am more intelligent than you; you are too stupid to see your own folly. Continuing this discussion isn't worth my time, because you are so dumb.' - and then abruptly turning away. Quite frankly, whenever someone uses the offending phrase in question and directs it towards me, I have to summon previously untapped reserves of inner fortitude in order to prevent myself retaliating with the refreshing honest rebuttal of 'go fuck yourself'.

The expression implies that the grass is in fact, not actually greener on the other side, and that humans are conditioned to be unhappy with their own circumstances, forever trapped in the cycle of being desirous of other people's lives. The phrase essentially paraphrases Homer Simpson, saying 'why bother trying - even if you succeed, you will not find happiness'. In my mind, the joke is invariably on the speaker invoking the moronic platitude - clearly they are content with the waist deep mediocrity they are mired in, and do not think highly enough of themselves that they might be able to haul themselves free of it.

The phrase is dangerous. While in a toxic relationship, it is easy to follow the greener grass fallacy - and think things would not be any better for you if you were rid of the very thing causing you pain. The same could be said of a job - your workload is overwhelming, your boss is callous and unempathetic, your clients excessively demanding and relentlessly unreasonable. You think to yourself that you should leave to find pastures fresh, where you might be happier. But then you remember that the grass is always greener on the other side, and that you are being a downright fool, and so you stay despite your present woeful predicament - which is ironically the infinitely more foolish thing than having the hope that you could bring about positive change.

I refuse to bow down to the arrogant suggestion imposed by the phrase, that I should satisfice with my current situation. I welcome the implication that I am naive and idealistic, if it means I can retain the hope for a better future.

Please, stop subjecting me to this ludicrous slogan.