Who Sucks?
A guided journaling app that helps you process conflicts and figure out whether you're the problem, they're the problem, or it's more complicated than that.
The Hook
After a frustrating argument, I’d spend hours ruminating about whether I was in the wrong. I wanted a way to think through conflicts more systematically instead of just spinning my wheels.
The Context
I’ve been working on becoming less defensive when receiving feedback, but my default mode after any interpersonal tension is to either immediately assume I’m the villain or immediately assume the other person is unreasonable. Neither approach is particularly useful. I needed something that would help me actually think through what happened without immediately jumping to conclusions.
The Journey
The core idea is embarrassingly simple: just ask yourself a series of structured questions about what happened, what you contributed, what the other person might have been experiencing, and what you could do differently next time. The interesting part was figuring out which questions actually help versus which ones just trigger more defensiveness or self-flagellation. I tested various phrasings on myself for a few weeks before settling on the current set.
The Current State
Who Sucks is a guided journaling web app that walks you through a conflict step-by-step. It asks questions like “What did you do that might have made things worse?” and “What might they have been feeling that you didn’t notice at the time?” — the kind of questions a good therapist would ask but that are hard to remember to ask yourself when you’re upset. It saves your reflections so you can spot patterns over time. It’s live at whosucks.jonnyspicer.com and I use it semi-regularly whenever I find myself stuck in a rumination loop.