Driven or Obsessive?

Another interesting question from the 36 to fall in love is number 22: “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.” Obviously this isn’t actually phrased as a question, but the answers were pretty interesting and made me think a lot about the way in which we view ourselves and the way we view others.

One of the things I said of my question-answering-partner was that they cared deeply about other people, wildlife, the environment and the planet, and I thought that was remarkably admirable. They countered that they often valued those things over their own wellbeing, and that perhaps caring so much was in fact detrimental to their health. Similarly they remarked of me that they admired how driven I am (which was already interesting in that I’ve literally never considered thinking of myself as driven) and of course I riposted that I am in fact obsessive, and I pursue my lofty and sometimes unrealistic goals in a way that is often similarly detrimental to my physical and mental health.

Perhaps the qualities in both of us are good, and worthy of admiration, or perhaps they would be if we could tone them tone just a smidge. Sadly I’m not sure either of us are capable of that though. I still feel obsessive, and as much as I would love to reframe that as “driven”, I can’t help but feel that would be naive and self-enabling.