Stressed

I’m stressed about moving. I think this is pretty fine and normal and human of me and I’m not trying to fight it or anything, but it’s interesting to observe myself as a stressed person. I find stress doesn’t necessarily manifest itself as a feeling in the same way as say sadness, anger or happiness does - I can’t necessarily stop and consciously notice I am stressed. There are still very clear signs of it though. I eat a lot more, and I mean a lot. I am craving sugar during every waking moment right now, my dentist isn’t going to be pleased. The skin on my face gets super red, dry and blotchy, leaving me looking like I’m permanently sunburned. This isn’t doing wonders for my confidence, but at least while we’re working from home, the resolution on my laptop webcam isn’t high enough to cause me too much embarrassment. I also find myself having a strong aversion to doing pretty much anything productive; I don’t want to do work, meditate, write blogs or handle the quite significant amount of life-admin that requires my attention, and instead have an incredibly strong desire to play video games and watch It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia (I’m about halfway through season 12).

In the past, I might not have attributed all these things to stress, so it’s nice that I can do so now, and not freak out about them. In a couple of weeks, all this will have passed and I will be excitedly exploring my new home, my normal pasty-white complexion resumed. And I can’t wait for that.