Friends in a New City

Published in Personal - 2 mins to read

Having been here about a month and a half now, making new friends has not come quite as easily as I’d hoped. I think I was pretty naive about the amount of effort I’d be required to invest, and somewhat thought that if I simply signed up for a running club, went to the climbing gym and worked from the office, I’d organically make new friends without having to do anything too special. Obviously the reality is that that’s not the case, especially because I’m pretty awkward in most of those situations. If I want to make new friends, I’m going to have to actually make a meaningful effort, even if that seems uncomfortable.

In a way, I’ve not minded too much the lack of new social contacts here, given that I do still have great friends further afield. There are people on the good acquaintance/vaguely friends borderline I could ask to meet up and try to strengthen our relationship, but I haven’t yet. I’m telling myself that’s because I’ve been so busy, but perhaps I’m only kidding myself. Not having anyone close right now doesn’t seem like an issue, but I’m also aware it might become one if things start going wrong for me, and I have nobody to turn to in person.

So the question is where to summon the energy from to make an effort, and then where to channel said energy. Once I’m done with the ultra at the end of July I think I’ll have a lot more capacity to focus on other things, that situation is looking unlikely to change until then. There are people at running, climbing and work I could make more effort with (although I still want to set healthy work/life boundaries so would prefer the first two options). There are apps to find friends now, and while part of me is pretty sceptical of that, I am using apps to try and find new romantic prospects so why not for lower stakes relationships too. If I really wanted to, I could always start fencing again, where I am a lot more confident I’d be able to make friends. We’ll have to see come August.

See other posts in the Moving to London series