Mount Teide Left Unconquered
Last week I suffered my first1 DNF at the Tenerife Bluetrail 110k. There isn’t a whole lot to say about it, as I had been expecting not to finish for weeks leading up to the race, on the start line etc. Life got in the way of training, which is inevitable for some races - in a way, it was nice to start a race with no expectations.
With that being said, not finishing did evoke a feeling of grief. Not because of missing out on the finish line per se, but more as a reminder of the extent to which I’d allowed life to get in the way of training. There might be more to life than running, but it is something I do solely for myself, that helps me feel good about my body, that keeps me calm and grounded. It is a form of self care, and instead I felt like I’d been commiting acts of self harm for the past few months. I had no good answer to the question of why I’d done this to myself. The experience drove home that I needed to do more for myself, to find myself again.
I am grateful for the experience. I’m glad that I no longer have to worry about “my first DNF” - I know that it’s not going to be the end of the world. It made me especially thankful for the race staff who looked after me and helped me get back to the finish line where I was staying. The vibes are on the bus back were, unsurprisingly, bad, but humbling and gratitude-inducing.
My next race is in just two months, another 100k in the Peak District with a tight cutoff. I learned some things making it halfway up Mount Teide; hopefully I can use them to get me all the way to the finish line next time.
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Technically I DNFed at Glencoe Skyline 2023, after failing to reach the final checkpoint within the cutoff after bad weather meant the course closed early. I don’t really count this as a true DNF given that I opted for safety over speed after finding out the race would be cut short; I at least tell myself that I could’ve got there in time if the race was still on. ↩︎