New Year's Resolutions

I'm sure I have decried the concept of New Year's Resolutions in the past, but now I am older and supposedly wiser, I think they're actually pretty great. Sure - if you want to change your life, start now. But we all get trapped in cycles of habit - January 1st is a good opportunity to take a step back and evaluate, to try to set yourself onto a new path.

I have failed at so many things in my life. There are so many goals I have set over, and over, and over again, seemingly oblivious to the many previous defeats I had faced. For the past couple of weeks, I have pondered whether it's worth setting the same goals, or any goals at all. Am I being naïve by saying I want to lose weight, improve my self esteem and become more connected to people?

Who cares if I am. Naiveté is great - it gives me hope. Ignorance of potential negative realities of my situation is blissful. I don't want to give up on my idealism and by the same token I want to keep believing that I can change, even if I haven't managed it on previous occasions.

My resolution last year was not to kill myself, and hey, I fucking nailed it. so I'm gonna up the ante for this year. I'm gonna lose weight and get jacked, I'm gonna improve my self esteem (but not as a result of losing weight and getting jacked) and I'm going to become closer to the people around me. Bring it on.