October 3, 2011 III

I suppose now it's my turn.

I've been in my new place about two months now, and living with one of my best friends has been amazing. Coming home from work and being able to hang out with one of your buddies who will make you laugh after a rough day is incredible and has made me life better. We're surrounded by older, more successful people - my shitty car sticks out like a sore thumb in a garage full of Porsches and Mercedes - but I don't mind. In a way, it is funny to me that I am living in the same place as them, perhaps it makes me feel successful already.

Recently my only motivation has been simple, to be. I spent far too much time thinking and doing, and not enough time simply being, but now I am conscious of that, I already find myself enjoying innumerable small moments of joy that would've otherwise passed me by. I hope this motivation does not wane.

I really want to help out my brother. We've always been really close too, and similarly, I think he deserves to be happier than he is. I want to spend more time and invest more effort into him, because I love him more than anything in the world. I guess that makes him my pet project as well - although I don't think he is in the top quartile for open-mindedness in 16 year olds. Hopefully I can learn to love trying to help him.