The Honesty Problem

In only the third post on this blog, I wrote about Radical Honesty. I talked about about Radicalish Honesty, which I am now going to call Radish Honesty for short, and how I thought it would do me good to try to embrace it. Well, over one year later, I have done a bad job of that, so it's time to revisit it.

Recently, I have become somewhat convinced that a big part of my potential future happiness will come from being more honest and open with the people in my life, about how I am really feeling (eg actually tell people when I'm depressed and how bad it is). I am hoping that talking more about my 'true self' or whatever will help me feel more connected and help my overall mental health.

The problem is... if I am employ Radish Honesty with the people around me, I more than likely going to be a bit of a Negative Nelly. My friends are going to ask me if I'm alright and I'm going to say 'no' and then spontaneously burst into tears. I feel like that might get old fast though - so what am I going to do?

I'm pretty scared if I follow all the self help, therapy bullshit advice of 'be yourself' and 'be vulnerable' and blah blah blah, that I'll just be a burden, the miserable friend nobody wants to be around. My poor mental health has become a worryingly large part of my identity and personality, and now I don't know what else is left. We hear it a million times a day - 'surround yourself with positive people' - but I'm not a positive person. What if nobody wants me around?