Therapy Deja Vu II
Today was therapy session numero dos, and there was plenty more deja vu to be had. Having worked with this therapist previously, we went over some material from November 2018, and it was interesting to see what had changed, and what hadn’t. The stuff that stayed the same was largely the cyclical patterns of self-destructive thinking and behaviour, perhaps as one might expect. Back then however, I seemed to spend a lot more time on my computer, and find a lot more comfort in spending time on it compared to social interaction - which I was very apprehensive about. I seemed a lot lonelier, and really struggled to connect with anyone around me, thinking I was too much a burden or too depressing to even be around - hopefully my post yesterday is a good indicator that that has changed though.
It’s easy in this process to feel like I really am stuck back where I was when I was 16, and that all the effort I’ve put in hasn’t ever borne fruit. This was a very welcome reminder that actually, I have come a long way, and I deserve to feel good about that.