Trial and Error

Intuitively, one might feel that the biggest problem with generalised or social anxiety is that it prevents an individual from succeeding - however I would disagree. The most prevalent issue faced by anxiety sufferers, and indeed myself, is a lack of failure.

Ok, I admit that my point here isn't exactly revolutionary, but sometimes it takes me a while to arrive at even an obvious conclusion, so humour me. Having struggled a lot with anxiety, particularly in the time since I left university, my coping strategy has been largely to avoid situations in which I might experience said anxiety. This is naturally only to a certain extent - I still leave the house every day, despite having anxiety about doing so. But, generally speaking, I cut out as many non-critical interactions that I have anxiety about - in terms of fight or flight, I have fled. Flew. Flown. I don't know.

And now, I have suffered for it. I feel like my social skills are underdeveloped, my relationships aren't where I want them to be. In order to change those things, I will have to try, and failure is an inevitable part of trying. It's going to hurt - but I am hoping it won't hurt quite as bad as I think. I really need to feel the pain - in fact my goal for the next couple of months is to feel as much of it as possible.

To that end, tomorrow in particular there is quite a lot of potential for discomfort. Wish me luck.