When it's easy, it's easy II

Four and a half months later, and I’ve not yet sunk back into the abyssal clutch of depression. Neat.

Recently, things have been especially good, and as a result, things are still easy. It’s easy to get up at 6am and go running, to track my calories, to make social arrangements - even ones I would once have had crippling anxiety over. In a way it’s less easy to write these posts, because I think they were more interesting when I was unhappy - but that’s a good problem to have.

I’m not sure if I’ve laid enough groundwork to ingrain any of these changes should things so south again, perhaps it’ll all go to shit. I’m relatively confident my diet won’t, as I’ve been meal prepping for a few months now, but running is a new infatuation, and social withdrawal is always easy to slip back into regardless of how well-practised in maintaining dialogue with my friends I might feel.

On the other hand… Perhaps this time I won’t fall back into the deep dark well. If I remain in good spirits, I feel like I could finally tackle my weight loss demons without rampant comfort eating disrupting the battle. Maybe I could stop pitying myself for long enough to go out and find a girlfriend, and get her to pity me instead. Maybe I’ll actually figure out what I want to do with my life - who knows? The possibilities are endless.