No Such Thing as Should
I’ve spent the day trying to action a phrase that a previous therapist once told me - that there’s no such thing as should. I’ve tried to have a day free of obligations, where I don’t do anything because I “should”, and instead do things because I want to. It’s actually pretty difficult - I’ve spent a lot of time not knowing what it is I want to do, even if I give myself the choice of anything. There’s still a guilt that I’m not doing something “productive” as well. I think both are probably pretty revealing about how I think about things and choose to spend my time. I could write a list 100 lines long of things I should be doing (and yesterday I gave it a good go), but today my mental list of things I want to do was a whole lot shorter; I want to spend some time evening the two up.