Productivity Hack

Having already brought you one high quality productivity hack this week, I am proud to announce that I have another awesome time-saver up my sleeve, ready to share with you all, like the benevolent god I am.

I've already talked about how it isn't news that we spent too much time on our phones. Now I am talking about it again, it is doubly not news, anti-news if you will. But bear with me, this is a good one - this is a failsafe way to spend lost time on your phone, and all you need to do is install an app on your phone - in fact, you probably already have it! The app in question, perhaps surprisingly, is Snapchat.

"But Jonny, how is having Snapchat installed going to help me waste less time, be more productive, and overall improve my pitiful life?" I hear you, a mere and feeble time-management mortal, ask. Well, let me tell you - everytime you open your phone, go to the Snapchat app, and then swipe right, to Discover or Stories or whatever-the-fuck-its-called. Now, DO NOT watch the stories of any of your actual friends or contacts. Instead, watch one of the Snapchat-curated featurettes, likely entitled "which celebrity has the curviest toes?" or "OMG you won't believe what Katy Perry's favourite kind of pasta is!".

You probably still don't understand how this helps, but stick with it. Continue watching the shiny, clickbaity, cleavage-intensive wonder-garbage being beamed to you from the SnapFactory. Once you have got to the end, you will have lost 100% of your faith in humanity. You will want to gouge your eyes out, but before doing so, you will want to gouge out the eyes of whoever produced the 90 second shitfest you just watched, before throwing your phone into a pit of boiling lava and nosediving after it.

After having recovered from this brief moment of all-encompassing rage, you will close the app, turn off your phone, and get back to work.