Self Pity is Useless II
I’ve been thinking about self pity a lot more this week, in part because I realised I’ve been feeling it recently. It’s still useless. I am very good at slipping into it, focusing on everything else except my mental health, and then lamenting that I am “still” feeling down… even though I’m not doing anything to actually try and change that. Good one, you idiot.
I think it was an epiphany that specifically struck during IDLES' set on Friday, so shout out to them. Realising it actually felt very good. Suddenly remembering that I can cut out so many parts of my week, and quieten so much noise, in order to actually work on my self esteem, boundaries and overcoming anxiety, and that doing this work will actually make a difference is a weirdly self-fulfilling prophecy. It is quite frustrating that I seem to get distracted and lose sight of this so consistently, and I’m not entirely sure why that is yet, but for now I think all that matters is to keep trying to build habits that take responsibility for my mental health, and to persevere as long as it takes for them to stick.