Wasted Days

Today has been, by most reasonable metrics, a wasted day. I haven’t done anything. I’ve spent the whole time emotionally procrastinating, scared to feel anything so just distracting myself - and now at the end of it I just feel tired, annoyed & ashamed at myself, and like I still have plenty of nagging feelings tugging at me. When these kinds of days get strung together is when I well and truly know that I am depressed, but I know this is not like that. I am not depressed, I do actually have the tools to deal with what I feel. I am just so out-of-the-habit of dealing with them, and so used to trying to cram them back into a box.

Hopefully tomorrow will be used better.