Weight Over Time
According to my journal, four years ago today, I weighed 229lbs, and according to my scales, today I weight 189lbs. I spend a lot of time overthinking how much I weigh, what I look like, and how I want those two things to change in the future, and I know it’s not good for me - although that knowledge doesn’t seem to stop me either. It’s always very focused on what is ‘wrong’ now and how I might feel once things are ‘fixed’, but I rarely spend any time considering how it felt when I was 40lbs heavier and reflecting on the progress made between then and now. Regardless of whether my thoughts on my appearance are any less frequent now than they were then, I think it’s worth me focusing on the fact that I feel much healthier now than I did then. I know I can run a half marathon, and hopefully soon I’ll prove that I can do further as well. I’m conscious of the nutritional value of my food - sure I still binge sometimes, but if I go a couple of days without eating an apple I start to feel a little uneasy about it. I can walk up flights of stairs without being out of breath. I don’t sweat buckets in the summer sun. Even if I would love to lose another 20lbs, I’ve already come a long way, and that’s worth remembering.