Blog Archive
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2024
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November
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On 30
Content warning: suicide, self harm, eating disorders, partner violence, alcohol abuse...
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September
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Five things I love about tattoos
Yesterday I got matching tattoos with my mum - it was her first - and naturally it was a profound experience...
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July
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Concrete Ways I Use AI
Below is a list of concrete uses I’ve had for AI tools in the past month... -
ZSA Voyager Review
For the last 6 months I’ve been using a ZSA Voyager, a built-to-order split mechanical keyboard that cost me £300, including shipping costs from Taiwan... -
What I've Got Wrong and Right In My Career
I’ve made some huge mistakes in my career so far - things that have cost me learning opportunities, promotions, and sometimes my mental health... -
Is This Water?
Content warning: suicide. You meet someone who claims to be a prophet...
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March
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Beeminding My Own Business
What if the currency of procrastination and ill-discipline was not regret, but the American dollar?.. -
Notes From William Zinsser's On Writing Well
I thought I was a passable writer, but Zinsser changed that - although he also showed me the path to proficiency... -
On Productivity
I’m not the most productive person I know, but I have improved my productivity a lot, particularly in the last year... -
An Introduction to Internal Family Systems: A Brief Review
I think there is something of a problem with reading books about therapy, or perhaps psychology more generally...
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February
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The Arc
I spent a lot of time thinking about what I wanted to say about this race before I even got to the start line...
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2023
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December
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2023 in Review
Last year I set myself 9 goals, and wrote that I would likely give up on most of them... -
What I Learned In My First Year of Community Building
This post was originally written for the EA Forum. I’ve been one of two main organisers for the EA London Tech group for roughly the past year, and at our most recent meetup someone asked me to write up what I’d learned about community building... -
Becoming a Better Programmer: Adventures in C
Why learn C in 2023? I’m not as good at programming as I’d like to be... -
Is Meditation Magic?
Imagine that you’re the mayor of a small town; let’s call it Samadhivale...
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November
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Giving What I Can
I’ve read several LinkedIn posts on why people chose to take the Giving What We Can Pledge...
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June
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Map and Territory: Fake Beliefs
This post is part of my notes on Eliezer Yudkowsky’s Rationality: A-Z, known as The Sequences... -
Map and Territory: Predictably Wrong
This post is part of my notes on Eliezer Yudkowsky’s Rationality: A-Z, known as The Sequences...
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May
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Reflections following EAG London: Conference Strategy and In/Outgroup Dynamics
Originally posted on the EA forum TL;DR I’d recommend having a strategy for planning your conference Different types of 1:1s are valuable in different ways, and some are more worth preparing for than others It’s natural to feel imposter syndrome and a sense of inadequacy when surrounded by so many highly competent, accomplished people, but arguably the primary purpose of the conference is for those people to help us mere mortals become highly competent and accomplished too (assuming accomplishment = impact) I feel very conflicted about the insider/outsider nature of the EA community, and I’m going to keep thinking and talking about it more Last year I attended EAG SF (but not EAG London 2022), and was newer to the EA community, as well as working for a less prestigious organisation...
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March
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Enacting Equilibrium With Your Extremely Efficient Employer
Sorry, what? I want to be happier at work, but more importantly, you want to be happier at work...
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2022
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December
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2023 Goals
Update: you can view my progress so far here. It’s the last day of 2022 which means it’s time to reflect on the year past, and set some new goals for 2023!.. -
On Doing The Most Good
It’s now been roughly a year since I started becoming seriously interested with Effective Altruism, and I feel like I owe some people I know an explanation - what exactly is this thing, and why have I become so invested in such a short space of time?.. -
Beyond Borderline
Previously, I had found using the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder offered a helpful framework for both thinking generally about my mental health issues and looking for promising interventions...
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August
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What I Learned From Applying To 100 Programming Jobs
TL;DR Many people do not treat the job market like a market...
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July
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Eiger Ultra Trail
About four years ago, my then-housemate suggested that I watch The Race That Eats Its Young, a documentary about the legendary Barkley Marathons...
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April
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Eating
Content warning; food, eating disorders, self harm, depression, anxiety My relationship with food is not good...
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March
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February 2022 Retrospective
As promised, here is the first of my monthly update posts...
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February
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An End to Daily Posts
I said at the start of the year that I wanted to get out of the habit of publishing a blog here every day, and since then I have struggled a little to find the will to stop... -
Valentine's Day III
I don’t know if I’ve ever mentioned, but I hate Valentine’s Day... -
Life Goals
As part of trying to fill in my new Notion setup I have been trying to organise all my yearly/monthly/weekly/daily goals as being Russian dolls of one another, each having a “parent” goal... -
Notion: A One Stop Shop
In the past couple of weeks, I have come to realise quite how amazing Notion is, so much so that I would safely see this is not only the best free productivity tool I’ve ever used, it’s better than any of the paid ones I’ve seen as well... -
Good Enough At Go
One of my biggest takeaways from the 80000 Hours rabbit hole so far has come from reading their advice on career capital... -
Nationally Insured
My National Insurance Number finally arrived in the post today, after having lived and worked in the UK for almost 9 months... -
Priorities II
I am once again struggling to prioritise what feels like a very limited amount of time... -
A Normal Sized Leg
The swelling in my left leg has finally reduced down to virtually nothing, and so this evening I was able to head out on my first run in 10 days... -
80000 Hours II: Personal Priorities and Pressing Issues
The first two sections in the 80000 Hours career plan are to consider what a fulfilling, high-impact career looks like for me, and to spend some time considering which global problems I think are most pressing... -
80000 Hours Career Planning I: The Beginning
Despite having referenced 80000 Hours on this blog in several previous posts, I must admit, I’ve never particularly gone down its rabbit hole - I’ve largely just skim read their some of their key points and then used it to feel good about myself, as well as to be self-righteous about in written form... -
Ants From Up There
Yesterday saw the release of the new Black Country, New Road album, Ants From Up There, in the same week that the band announced that frontman Isaac Wood will be leaving the project due to mental health issues, and unfortunately cancelling their upcoming shows, one of which I had tickets to and was very excited about... -
Wordle
I’ve been having a lot of fun with Wordle recently. I may be bandwagonning on the latest craze, but I think the game is a lot of fun, as well as a great example of how effective a simple side project for a developer can be (apparently he made it for his girlfriend, how sweet is that?.. -
I Know What To Do To Be Happy
I have been feeling pretty down today, for various reasons. I’m fairly convinced a big part of it is that I haven’t been able to run for the last 5 days, which is my usual escape from my own head... -
Dry January III
I once again completed Dry January this year, largely as part of my training for the EUT this summer... -
100 Hours II: January Review
It’s now been one whole month into 2022, so it seems appropriate to see how my yearly goals are going so far...
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January
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Some Thoughts About Tattoos
Yesterday I got tattoo number 9, my biggest so far. It covers my left leg from knee to ankle, 360 degrees (sorry Mum) and I am absolutely in love with it... -
A Gift To Your Future Self
I have a batch of homemade cookies in my kitchen. It is very tempting to be eating one at all times, and not doing so is testing the limits of my self control... -
Arc Envy
This weekend it’s the Arc of Attrition, arguably England’s toughest single-stage ultramarathon... -
Rest Day
Today is my first rest day of the year. Or at least, it sort of is - I already did a fairly difficult yoga session and I did try and go for a run, but after going 200m down the road my legs were having none of it and I decided to try to be sensible about the whole thing... -
Back To The Office
Today was my first day heading back to the office in about two months, and it did feel very enjoyable to have a change of scenery... -
OCC Lottery II: Not This Year
Unfortunately I didn’t get into the OCC, but in reality I am quite glad - attempting to run another race only slightly more than a month after the EUT would’ve been pretty stupid, and even if I had got a place, I might not have accepted it anyway... -
Performance Review
Today was my end of year performance review, an experience I have been somewhat dreading... -
Better Than Medication
Another very short one today in light of a lack of both inspiration and time... -
Tata Steel Masters 2022
Round eight of this year’s edition of the Tata Steel Masters in Wijk an Zee, Netherlands is just about wrapping up, and so far this tournament has already had its fair share of thrills and spills... -
RunThrough Olympic Park
Today I ran the RunThrough 10k at the Olympic Park, my first race since September of last year and my first race of that distance since September 2019, when I just about squeaked under an hour to come home in 59:53... -
Baking
After having finally figured out how to enjoy cooking, and dabbling in some marginally more adventurous kitchen activities like fermenting peppers, pickling cucumbers and making my own hot sauce, baking seemed like an obvious next step... -
Overdoing It
I can feel myself getting dangerously close to overdoing it, and my body and mind are telling me I need to slow down... -
Hot Sauce
This evening, in an effort to stave off the January blues, I made my own hot sauce for the first time... -
Overpositivity
I have been a bit worried recently that the things I write here are only ever reasonably positive, and paint an unrealistic picture of my life... -
Leeds III
After another weekend up north, I am growing to appreciate both Leeds and London a lot more... -
Cooking II
After almost 10 years of trying, I feel like I’m finally getting the hang of cooking... -
A New Way To Run II
It’s been about two months of low heart rate training and I feel like it’s going incredibly well... -
Mentoring III
With mentoring being one of my goals for the year I have already started to invest some time into thinking about how to be a better mentor... -
Shobu
After being at Draughts a couple of weeks ago and being far more interested in what the couple next to me were playing than my own group, after some digging I discovered it was Shobu and given how up my alley it looked, naturally I bought a set... -
Quiztory
After months of being dead weight at the Wayside Cheer pub quiz back in Guernsey, I have recently found a new team of people who are distinctly closer to my own quizzing ability as well as a couple of quizzes where the average age of participants is also distinctly closer to my own... -
The Book of Mormon
Last night I went to a West End theatre for the first time and saw The Book of Mormon, a musical which I probably wouldn’t have had much interest in if it weren’t for having had so many glowing recommendations from my friends over the years... -
One Thing At A Time
I am doing it again. And by it, I mean splitting my attention too many ways, assuming I can make meaningful progress in several areas of my life simultaneously, and generally overcomplicating my life... -
Back To The North Downs Way
As my first “serious” training run for the EUT, as well as in order to make a start on my trail running goal for the year, today I headed out to the North Downs Way for a medium-effort 18 miles with a friend... -
A Vision For Life
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about what I want in my life... -
Another Week of Yoga
Today is the 7th of January which means that, as part of my 100 hour goals for the year, I’ve done 20-30 minutes of yoga every day for the past week... -
OCC Lottery
Today the lottery opens for the legendary UTMB, perhaps the most famous ultramarathon in the world... -
The Big Short
Last night I watched The Big Short and I have to say, it made me feel profoundly sad in a way that I can’t remember another film making me feel... -
Feedback II
January means end of year performance reviews at work, which means both giving and receiving more feedback... -
Back in London
As of yesterday I am finally back in London, and it feels like a big relief... -
100 Hours
In order to keep track of my six chosen activities for this year, I’ve created a little page on this site, which you might’ve already noticed in the menu... -
2021 In Review
Another new year is just beginning, which means an old year has just finished...
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2021
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December
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2022 Goals
It’s the last day of 2021, and given I’ve had so much time to ruminate over the past couple of weeks, it’s time to think about some goals for 2022... -
The Soundtrack to 2021
While I think everyone agrees that 2021 was another bad year in general, it was at least a good year for music... -
Enhanced Passive Followup
After two days of negative lateral flow tests, I am now in what the local authorities are calling “enhanced passive followup”, which, blissfully, means I am finally allowed to leave the house again, albeit with an extensive list of caveats... -
World Rapid Championships
Today concluded the Rapid Chess World Championships, pretty much the only thing that as kept me sane over the past three days... -
Chess Commentators
Seeing as I’m stuck inside, I’ve been pretty glued to the Rapid Chess World Championships that’ve been on, and the biggest thing that sticks out to me are how bad most of the commentators are... -
Quarantine Day 4
It’s my fourth day of having covid, and as much as I would like to write about something else, my brain isn’t working well enough for that... -
Christmas II
Well, this Christmas did not go entirely to plan. I had hoped to go for a swim and a run, or at the very least to venture outside the house for a walk, but instead I’m housebound... -
Superstore
So far, my plan to do anything productive during my time in isolation is going poorly, as I have instead watched two full seasons of NBC sitcom Superstore... -
Covid for Christmas
Well, it finally happened, and today I tested positive for everyone’s favourite novel coronavirus... -
Algorithms
After having done so much Advent of Code, I realised that while I am very bad at algorithms, I should at least give myself credit for knowing more than nothing about them, despite my lack of formal computer science education... -
Sick
When I thought about coming back to Guernsey for Christmas, I held in my head visions of a week of running by the sea, doing yoga every day and smashing out a couple of books... -
I Can't Swim
The good news is that the title of this post isn’t entirely accurate, I can swim... -
Finally Moved In
In the process of packing to go back to Guernsey tomorrow, I finished unpacking from moving into my new flat over a month ago... -
A Proper Break
Yesterday was my last day of work before the Christmas holidays, and my next day won’t be until the 4th, or potentially even the 7th, of January... -
Ripples on the Lake
I am determined today to write about something other than running or programming, so here we go... -
Christmas Gifts II
It feels like I have an infinite list of things to do before flying back to Guernsey first thing on Monday morning... -
Advent of Code VI
Another three days, another three challenges. I must admit, I am definitely starting to reach my limit with these; day 13 felt very manageable but on day 14 I completely failed to learn from mistakes on previous days, and my solution to day 15 is just heinous… it takes circa 90 minutes on my fairly beefy machine to generate the correct answer... -
Boosted
Today I got my booster jab, at a community centre 10 minutes walk away that was offering walk-in appointments... -
Advent of Code V
These next three problems started out not too badly for me, but then got progressively harder... -
2022 Races
My race calendar for 2022 is filling up and I’m incredibly excited... -
Fish Tacos
Before this evening, I’d had fish tacos exactly once in my life, correct me if my exact location is wrong but if I recall correctly, it was at a small place by the side of Highway 307 in Playa del Carmen, Mexico... -
World Chess Championship 2021 III
And just like that, the match is all over; Magnus Carlsen retains his crown as world chess champion with three whole games to spare... -
Advent of Code IV
After three more days of AoC, I am starting to feel the difficulty a bit... -
Big Races & Bad Ideas II: Eiger Ultra Trail
In bad news, I did not get a place in the lottery for the big ultra next summer... -
Early Starts
Whenever I get up at 6am and begin my day, I feel like I have my life on track... -
Advent of Code III
The problems are slowly beginning to get harder, although I did find these three still very achievable... -
World Chess Championship 2021 II
After 8 games of the 14 game match, the world championship is already all but decided... -
Parkrun II
Today I achieved another of my goals for this year, and ran my 50th parkrun event at Clapham Common... -
Advent of Code II
I solved the problems for days 1-3 of advent of code relatively straightforwardly, although my initial solution for today’s part two was pretty heinous so has been refactored for below (you can see the original spaghetti here)... -
Christmas Gifts
This year I am making a concerted effort to get into the Christmas spirit and be less of a Scrooge than I usually am... -
2021 Book Reviews IX: Memoir Edition
This time I decided to read something a bit different to what I usually would and try some memoirs...
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November
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Advent of Code
Tomorrow is the first day I get to eat a chocolate out of my fancy advent calendar, but more excitingly, it’s also the first day of this year’s edition of the advent of code... -
Back To Yoga
This weekend I attempted to do yoga for the first time in months... -
Better Than Nothing
Today I had wishfully planned to get up, eat breakfast, and leave the house at 8:30am with a view to running for about 4 hours... -
No Time To Say Anything
I know that I frequently lament that the quality of my blog isn’t better, or at least more consistent, and I’m afraid this is yet another one of those posts... -
Extreme Pair Programming II
We ran our first “Extreme Pair Programming” session yesterday and I overall I think it was a success... -
World Chess Championship 2021
Tomorrow the next World Championship match begins, delayed a year by the pandemic, between incumbent Magnus Carlsen and challenger Ian Nepomniatchi in Dubai... -
Extreme Pair Programming
Tomorrow I am running an afternoon-long session for our engineering team in order to try and improve our collective skills... -
The Commute
Now I’ve moved flat, I am no longer quite within walking distance of the office and instead have to take some kind of public transport in order to get there on time without leaving before sunrise... -
International Films
Once again, I have no more than 5 minutes to write a blog today (I really need to look at having GPT write these again), so all I have to offer is the thought that international films are great and I should watch more of them... -
A Week Of Running
After my week off running this week I did the opposite and had a week of running, ie lacing up my shoes and hitting the pavements every single day... -
Daebak
I’ve just booked to go to Daebak tomorrow for the third time in two weeks, so I feel like it’s deserving of an appreciation post... -
Cooking
Recently, I’ve finally managed to start enjoying cooking, something that’s never really been the case... -
A New Way to Run
In anticipation of signing up for some suitably ludicrous race next summer, I’m trying to start training like a real ultra runner - by running painfully slow for as long as possible... -
The Louis Cole Big Band
Last night I went to go see Louis Cole and his big band at Evolutionary Arts Hackney, broadening my gig-going comfort zone by seeing a jazz-funk ensemble for a change... -
Big Races & Bad Ideas
Another classic “quick one because I have no time” today... -
New Flat
In the end, my moving day turned out to be pretty successful... -
Moving Day
Today I’m moving flat, from Bermondsey to Stockwell. It has been a little sad to pack everything up, and my walls look alarmingly bare without posters adorning them, but overall I am excited about the move... -
Two Weeks Of Nothing
It occured to me today that Ted has now spent the whole of the last two weeks doing precisely nothing... -
Metronomy
Last night I saw English indie pop/new wave legends Metronomy play live in the Colour Factory (a converted warehouse) in Hackney Wick, East London... -
Solo Gigs
I’m about to go out to my first gig since moving to London, and I’ll be going on my own... -
Birthday Gratitude
My birthday always makes me exceptionally grateful for the people I have around me... -
Forget The Pain
In May I got a tattoo on my calf. It was painful - significantly more so than my arm had been - but fortunately it only took around 20 minutes... -
Another Trip Round the Sun
I made it to 27. I’m now the same age as Cobain, Hendrix and Winehouse all were when they died, and for whatever reason, whenever I think of 27, it being the age of their deaths is all I really associate this number of trips around the sun with... -
Six Months in London
Today marks six months since I moved to London, and I am slowly settling in... -
Watchhouse
One of the things I shall miss most about my current flat is its proximity to the Watchhouse roastery, currently a mere 2 minutes away but soon to be a whole 40 minutes on the bus... -
Critical Feedback
Today I got some critical feedback from my boss. Even though I would arrogantly consider myself mature, emotionally intelligent, yada yada yada, it’s funny that my knee jerk reaction is still to take it personally, when obviously it isn’t... -
2000 Kilometres
I have decided to set myself a last minute challenge for 2021, so that I can finish off the year strong and hopefully start 2022 off on the right foot - I am going to aim to run 2000km for the year... -
A Week Off Running
Last week I took a whole week off from running, the first time I’ve done so in this calendar year... -
Movember
It’s November, which means it’s moustache season in the UK. Movember is a charity/social movement where participants grow a moustache for a month in order to give money and raise awareness of issues like testicular and prostate cancer and male suicide... -
Birthday Stress
In a week’s time I’ll be turning 27 and obviously I have plenty of thoughts about that, but I’ll save those for another post...
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October
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Retreat Envy
Today Ted is embarking on a [three week meditation retreat.]https://www.tedslocum.com/posts/drop-it/ I’m not 100% sure but I beleive it’s a silent one, so he won’t be saying anything for the whole time, and will only have minimal communication with the teachers on the retreat... -
The Cookie Disaster
Last night I tried to make cookies, in lieu of having the equipment to bake much else with... -
Emotional Investment II
The good news is that I am not writing today’s blog while absolutely smashed, unlike yesterday’s... -
Emotional Investment
Full disclosure; I have had quite a few drinks before writing this one, and I have only 30 or so minutes before my time runs out and I would be losing the bet... -
The Worst Kind of Firsts
I wouldn’t exactly say I’m a natural at meeting and getting to know new people... -
Skincare
The skin on my face is usually blotchy, dry and red... -
Dune
After enjoying The French Dispatch so much last week, I was keen to repeat the cinema experience again as soon as possible, and so yesterday my brother and I went to go see the new Dune movie in IMAX... -
Tennis III
On Friday I had another stab at playing tennis. The first time I played, I didn’t try and serve overarm at all, assuming I would have a 0% success rate and it’d be a waste of time... -
If I Had To Suffer, You Have To Suffer
I’ve been thinking a lot about a feeling that some people (myself included) have in some situations where they have a protracted struggle with something, and upon overcoming it, instead of wanting to help other people not have the profoundly shitty experience they just had, they do nothing to help, feeling that the suffering they endured was “character building” or something similar... -
Winter Weather Running
It’s already getting cold, and winter is coming. A couple of weeks ago I could still enjoy running in 20 degrees, but now it looks like I’ll be running in single digits for the foreseeable future... -
Musical Regulation
Life in London is stressful, and frequently borders on the overwhelming... -
Blood
I’m lucky enough that the company I work for gives its employees one day of leave every year as a “good deed day”, which you can use to do a variety of things, including give blood - which is exactly what I did today... -
London City Runners
This evening I went out for a run with the London City Runners for the first time since August 10th... -
The French Dispatch
Yesterday I got to go to a real cinema, with a screen that must be 10x Guernsey’s meagre offering... -
The Room II
Last night I watched Tommy Wiseau’s masterpiece The Room for maybe the fourth of fifth time... -
Happy Blogoversary
Another excerpt from my journal, written four years ago today:.. -
Retros
This afternoon we did our team’s usual end-of-sprint retrospective, and, as always, I loved it... -
Borderliner
I’ve been spending a lot of time recently thinking about borderline personality disorder, and what it means to me... -
Mexico Day 26
Penzu sends me emails every so often about journal entries that I wrote on this day x years ago... -
Tennis II
As promised, yesterday evening I got to put my shiny new racket to the test and play some tennis... -
Sable
As part of saying that I wanted to spend a lot more time playing videogames I said I wanted to play Sable, and this weekend I got to spend a good 10 hours doing just that... -
A Quiet Mind
I took another friend floating for the first time. Beforehand they asked me whether they should have anything to think about while in the tank, and I said that what works for me is to try to go in without any plan or expectation, and simply see what comes up... -
Flat Hunting IV
After an incredibly intense few days of emails, phone calls, viewings and general stress, I have had an offer accepted on a lovely flat in Oval... -
Tennis
Another short one today as I am mired in work, flat viewings, and having to prepare for a friend coming to stay over the weekend... -
Flat Hunting III
Finding a new flat has hung over me in the time since my last race, the thing that was previously hanging over me... -
Mental Health Goals II
I’ve been thinking some more about mental health goals, but still haven’t actually come up with any yet - it turns out they’re harder than regular goals... -
2021 Book Reviews VIII: Anna Karenina
On the train back from Glasgow yesterday I finally managed to finish Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina, widely regarded as one of the best novels of all time... -
Glasgow
This afternoon I got back to London after my weekend in Glasgow and the Highlands, and my lukewarm take is that Scotland is a better place than England... -
Strava
Strava is the only social media app on my phone, and, in part because of that, I care way too much about it... -
Mentoring II
After 6 months of mentoring someone, I’ve learned a whole lot... -
Picking Your Battles With Anxiety
I’ve been thinking about anxiety a lot recently, as I’ve noticed that I’ve stopped pushing my boundaries with it now I am a bit more settled in to London...
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September
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Making The Most Of Holidays
I’ve not done an especially good job of making the most of my holiday allowance this year... -
How To Take A Holiday From Blogging
I’m going to Scotland for a few days tomorrow, and I’d like to spend as little as possible of my time there interacting with technology... -
Mental Health Goals
In the time between now and the end of the year, I don’t have any particular goals I am looking to accomplish - there are things next year, sure, but they seem too far away to focus on... -
I Want To Spend A Lot More Time Playing Video Games
I’m sure there have been large swathes of my life where my parents really wished I spent less of my time playing video games... -
Perfectionism
My boss gave me some great advice the other day. He said that I always want everything I build to be perfect, and that it’d hugely benefit my career if I focused on delivering the next most valuable thing, rather than continuing to work on something that was already working well but might not be textbook code... -
XNRG Tring Ultra
Today was the XNRG Tring Ultra, a 50km through the picturesque Chilterns, only a short train journey away from London... -
The Night Before The Big Race, Take Two
It is the night before my second 50km of the month, which is a ridiculous thing to write... -
Shorter Days
The days are getting shorter, and I already hate it. Opening my curtains and not seeing the sun first thing is tough... -
I Really Want a Record Player
I spent a chunk of my Sunday afternoon once again wandering around Rough Trade East, thinking about how much I wanted to be able to buy something and take it home and have something to play it on... -
OFC Poker II: The Game Is On
After getting absolutely crushed by them in a game at the weekend, I’ve persuaded my OFC protégé to play for money, at £0... -
Always Wanting to be Liked
I’ve been thinking a bit about how strongly I feel the need to be liked by everyone I meet, and how tedious it is... -
Fancy Dessert Places
One of my favourite things about Lonodn is the proliferation of fancy dessert places to try... -
Trips Out of the City
Today is the second of four consecutive weekends where I plan to get out of the city; Eden Valley last Saturday, Weybridge today, Tring next week, and a whole long weekend in Scotland the week after that... -
RE: An Honest Living II
I reread Steve Salaita’s blog on an honest living again this week... -
Recovery Running
As my post yesterday illustrated, stress is high this week, and it hasn’t been helped by the fact that between tapering and recovery, I’ve not been out running as much as I usually would, and have missed out on some of the mental health effects jogging brings... -
Playing at Being an Adult IV
After talking with the world’s laziest blogger today, something he said really stuck with me - that the realisation and reminders of his own adulthood left him feeling slightly but pervasively uncomfortable, in a way that was impossible to explain... -
Uncomfortable Challenge
I too have been thinking that I’d benefit from some kind of uncomfortable challenge... -
OFC Poker: The Gateway Drug
I have recently been playing some Open Face Chinese Poker again, having got a certain non-gambling card game aficionado hooked on it... -
Blog Embarrassment
Recently I’ve felt a bit sheepish about writing on the blog... -
Eden Valley Ultra Trail
Today was the Eden Valley Ultra Trail and I actually almost didn’t do it... -
Preparation to Suffer II
Tomorrow is race day - the start of my first ultramarathon is less than 12 hours away... -
The Matrix Resurrections
Today the first trailer for The Matrix Resurrections was released, and it’s actually got me pretty excited... -
Flat Hunting II
Having activated the break clause in my lease, I am once again back to flat hunting, with a view to being somewhere new in two months time... -
Preparation to Suffer
I have now done my final training run before attempting the Eden Valley Ultra Trail on Saturday, so all that is left to do physically is rest my legs, sleep as much as possible, and make sure I’ve eaten enough carbohydrates to have maxed out my glycogen stores by the time I’m at the start line... -
Receiptify
There is a slew of simple little apps that use the Spotify API to give you data on your listening habits (much of which I am surprised Spotify don’t offer themselves through their UI), and today I found another one, Receiptify... -
Self Pity is Useless II
I’ve been thinking about self pity a lot more this week, in part because I realised I’ve been feeling it recently... -
Wide Awake
Yesterday was the first edition of Wide Awake Festival, one of the first festivals to go ahead since the pandemic struck, and the first festival I’ve been to since 2014... -
Flight Club
Last night I went to Flight Club for the first time, which fortunately has an altogether different set of rules to its pugnacious namesake, so I am allowed to read a blog about it... -
I'm Bad At Running
After seeing some photos of myself from The Big Half last weekend, I thought that my running form didn’t look great, and maybe I ought to do something about it... -
Brick Lane Beigels
I’ve been to Brick Lane a few times since having moved to London, and every single time there been a queue out the door and down the street outside Beigel Bake...
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August
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Tapering
My next target race, the Eden Valley Ultra Trail, is now less than two weeks away, which means I’ve started tapering for it... -
Fear of Falling II
The first step in trying to overcome my fear of falling was a pretty simple one - to get back doing some roped climbing in a gym... -
Margate
Today I am trying to mix it up from always going to Brighton and instead heading to Margate, a quaint-yet-trendy seaside town on the east coast of England... -
Holiday Plans
Now I have a full week of free time ahead of me, it’s been fun to make plans... -
Out of Office
My out of office is on, and it will remain so until Monday 6th September... -
The Pub
Another quick one today because I have to leave the house in seven minutes in order to be on time for meeting a friend at the pub... -
Fear of Falling
As part of thinking about some of the next set of goals that I’d like to set, I’ve been thinking about what climbing aspirations I have and what I’m going to need to do in order to fulfill them... -
2021 Goals III
As we near the end of Q3, I am happy to report that I’ve either already completed, or am on track for, most of my 2021 goals... -
AWS Certified
First thing this morning I took my AWS Certified Cloud Practicioner exam and, fortunately, I passed... -
The Big Half
Today I ran the Vitality Big Half, in what has seemingly become my annual race at the half marathon distance... -
Revision
I’m taking an exam first thing on Monday morning - an actual, sit-down, online proctored, somewhat serious exam... -
Ross From Friends
I’m a little over halfway through season three of the iconic show Friends, and so far all I can really think about is how much I hate Ross Geller... -
Too Much Holiday
We’re almost two thirds of the way through the year, and I have used… 3 of my allotted 24 days of holiday, so significantly less than the equivalent 16 days I would’ve taken if I was doing it proportionally... -
Polyglotism
For quite a while now, I’ve wanted to focus only on a single programming language, in the hopes of finally mastering one... -
Kentucky Route Zero
Last night I got round to finishing Kentucky Route Zero, and the whole experience was quite unlike any other I’d played... -
Leeds II
Getting-locked-out shenanigans aside, my weekend up North was amazing, and it felt like it had the restorative properties of a holiday, without having to take any time off work... -
Locked Out III
Yesterday I once again found myself standing outside of the flat I was meant to be sleeping in that night, with no keys and unable to get in, except this time it was my friend’s flat and he was the one who’d left his keys locked inside... -
Leeds I
Some thoughts on Leeds so far, after having spent a little over 12 hours here:.. -
Overpacking
Apologies in advance for this low effort post; I have about 10 minutes in which to write it... -
Weekend Breaks
When I moved to London, I knew that the city would get overwhelming after a while... -
Some Thoughts On Eating Meat Again
I’ve been eating meat again for about a month now, after a couple of years of being a “bad” vegetarian... -
I Don't Like Running II
On Sunday night I managed to get out for a pain-free run for the first time in two and a half weeks... -
Caffeine Detox II
A week later and the results are in, and they are deeply underwhelming... -
Anger Management
Last night I rewatched the 2003 film Anger Management starring Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler... -
SINNER GET READY Review
I still can’t shake the feeling that labelling a post as a music review is unbearably pretentious, which is why I haven’t done any recently, but yesterday Lingua Ignota’s new album, SINNER GET READY, was released and I couldn’t not write about it... -
Vaccinated
This morning I got my second jab, something I, and many others, have been wanting and waiting for for a long time... -
I Hate It When People Are Nice To Me II
Apparently I don’t do a particularly good job of hiding how much I don’t like it when people are nice to me... -
A Healthy Role Model
I really like the idea of trying to be a good role model as a guide for making decisions... -
Tokyo 2020 II: Climbing
Today was the first time sport climbing has appeared at the Olympics, with the men’s qualification events taking place... -
Caffeine Detox
While some are dabbling in caffeine again, I have decided to take a week off from it, starting today, to see what happens... -
Priorities
I think I’m really bad at prioritizing, and it’s often my undoing...
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July
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300000 Words
The final word of this post will, if my calculations are correct, be the 300000th word that I’ve written on this blog... -
Leicester Square II: The M&M Shop
As part of going to Leicester Square, I visited the M&M shop there... -
Locked Out II
I locked myself out of my flat again, for the second time in three weeks... -
Leicester Square
Yesterday I went back to Leicester Square for the first time in a long time - roughly 5 years in fact... -
A New Morning Routine
My morning routine currently consists of approximately the following: 07:00 My alarm goes off... -
I Don't Like Running
I have heard a lot of people justify their choice to be runners with some variation of the line “I don’t like running, I just really hate not running”, and that sentiment certainly resonates with me... -
Video Games
Since being in London, I’ve not really played any video games - something that is deeply unlike me... -
Behind the Televeil
Yesterday I was lucky enough to be part of a live audience for a comedy TV show for Dave, a UK TV channel whose slogan is “the home of witty banter” - I don’t think this latter part requires further commentary from myself... -
Tokyo 2020
It’s the Olympic opening ceremony today, and the whole world will be watching... -
Immortal Airlines
Last spring, I remember how everybody was talking about how many airlines were going to go out of business, how this was the end of air travel as we knew it, etc etc... -
I Miss Lockdown II
Last time I wrote about missing lockdown I said that I hoped once I moved to London, I would be able to have a more peaceful existence, and take some of the lessons I learned from the simpler times of quarantine and apply them to “normality”... -
Highlights and Lowlights
The last questions of the 36 to fall in love that I thought were particularly interesting are number 17 and number 18: “what is your most treasured memory?.. -
Driven or Obsessive?
Another interesting question from the 36 to fall in love is number 22: “Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner... -
The Sunday Eliminator
Today is Sunday, which means one thing - it’s long run day... -
Superpowers
A couple of weekends ago, an old friend and I went through the “36 questions to fall in love” that I presume I have mentioned on here before... -
Freedom Day Looms
There’s just two more days until “Freedom Day”, when all national COVID restrictions in England are set to be lifted... -
Ryoji Ikeda at 180 The Strand
Yesterday I went to see the Ryoji Ikeda exhibition at 180 The Strand, following a recommendation... -
Database Terror
I know that databases are incredibly boring to most people, and most of the time they’re perfectly uninteresting to me as well... -
Reunited With My Baby
Today my PC arrived at my flat, after being couriered across the English Channel by one of my friends... -
Procrastinanxiety II
There are two huge upsides to procrastination, which I think are the main reasons I do it... -
2021 Book Reviews VII
My time in London has been hectic, but I finally found time to finish three more books!.. -
UTMB I: OCC
The Ultra Trail du Mont-Blanc, or UTMB for short, is the famous trail race in Europe, and arguably tied with Western States 100 for the most famous trail race in the world... -
Football Chat
Wednesday’s semifinal was the first match of the Euros this year that I’ve actually watched any of, and in so doing I ended up being introduced to a couple of strangers... -
Necessary Resources
While speaking to Ted the other day, we were talking about people that have all the necessary resources to be happy, but for some reason aren’t... -
Locked Out
Today I locked myself out of my flat, which was bound to happen at some point... -
The Right Team
In my new job I have come to appreciate that the idea of culture fit/personality over skills in terms of putting a team together is the absolute truth... -
Pork and Beans
I recently rewatched Weezer’s video for their single Pork and Beans, now nearly 12 years old - a dinosaur in internet terms... -
North Downs Way Marathon
Today I ran my first with-other-people marathon, along the North Downs Way... -
Doing Nothing
Recently I’ve constantly felt rushed off my feet, but today I managed to carve out some time to Do Nothing... -
Out Of Your Head
I have some of the notes that my previous therapist made up on my fridge, the idea being that I can not only refer to them easily whenever I want, but also that I will see them often enough to hopefully start to internalise them a little more (let’s face it; I am opening my fridge plenty)... -
Inside II
At the weekend I watched Inside again, and I think it deserves a follow up post, especially as I don’t feel like I did it justice the first time round...
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June
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Nerves III
I have a second date tonight, and I’m really quite nervous about it... -
A New Ultra
I know I said the other day that maybe I wasn’t going to sign up for any more races for a while, maybe I’d take a break from running seriously, and try and figure out how to enjoy it and have a healthy relationship with it again... -
Male Role Models
One of the thoughts I had while communing with the void in the float tank yesterday was that I now feel like I have two male role models in my life, whereas in the past I’ve struggled to find much to look up to in the men around me... -
Not Saying Much
I’ve spent my day today with Laura, one of my oldest friends... -
Getting Ahead of Myself
Another classic mental health mistake I’m habitually guilty of (and was reminded of today) is that of getting ahead of myself... -
Mental Restlessness
Today I’ve been feeling mentally restless. I haven’t been able to focus on anything, instead flitting my attention back and forth every couple of minutes, always feeling slightly anxious and distinctly un-peaceful... -
Ultra Cancelled
The ultramarathon I had entered at the end of next month got cancelled yesterday, and I must confess I’m not actually that upset... -
Friends in a New City
Having been here about a month and a half now, making new friends has not come quite as easily as I’d hoped... -
Exercise Inertia
I’ve been really struggling to find the motivation to exercise recently... -
Overgamification
I would really like a stronger core - not only would it be helpful for both climbing and running, it’d also be great for my posture and spinal health, and I’d generally feel a lot better for it... -
Self Pity is Useless
I am far better than I’d like to be at pitying myself... -
When Training Goes Wrong
Today was meant to be my last long-long run before the North Down’s Way marathon in two weeks time, and I was slightly apprehensive about it... -
Full of Surprises
Yesterday one of my coworkers commented that I was full of surprises... -
Back To Work
As I write this an hour before heading back into the office, I am far more excited about returning to work then I feel like most people are at the end of any length of recuperative time off... -
Free Solo II
For the last day of my days off, I headed to Vauxwall East this morning, to cross another London climbing gym off my to-visit list... -
A Necessary Holiday
This week I took Monday through Wednesday off work, not because I had anything in particular to do, but because I hadn’t taken any holiday since starting my new job on January 18th... -
Brighton
Today I went to Brighton, my third visit in the last six weekends... -
Vintage Shops
Aside from visiting Rough Trade yesterday, while I was in Brick Lane I thought I ought to check out some of its fabled vintage clothing stores... -
Record Stores
Today is Record Store Day here in the UK, so I decided to head to fashionable Brick Lane and check out the legendary Rough Trade record store... -
Vegas Envy
Somebody I know is in Vegas, and I am more jealous than I thought I’d be... -
Vaccinations Booked
This evening I booked my vaccination appointments - one for bright and early tomorrow morning in Fleet Street, and the other in late August which is going to require me to schlep all the way to Wimbledon... -
Track Debut
I haven’t run on a track since secondary school, and back then, it was a grim affair... -
Cheap Sleep Upgrades
Everyone knows that sleep is the single best part of the human experience, and that getting enough high quality sleep is a silver bullet to pretty much all your mental and physical problems... -
A Month in London
As of today, I’ve made it a whole calendar month in the big city... -
Spellchecking
Today I have made a massive improvement to the blog; I installed a spellchecking extension on my IDE... -
Inside
This evening I watched Bo Burnham’s new comedy special, Inside, filmed over the course of a year during the pandemic entirely inside Bo’s home, using only equipment he had and no crew... -
Feedback
At work, we’re fast approaching mid-year performance reviews which means that our team is in the process of giving and receiving formalised feedback to one another through a HR tool... -
Heat
Yesterday it reached 28ºC in London, while only a week ago I feel like I was complaining that it was closer to 10ºC... -
The British 'Sorry'
Yesterday I had the opportunity to talk to a lovely lady called Sook... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy XIV: Sunbathing
I have spent a lot of time in the past few months complaining about it being cold, and it’s been similarly overcast and dreary, as one might expect given the legendary reputation of British weather...
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May
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New Routines III
A week on from lamenting my lack of routine and progress has been made, but there’s still a long way to go... -
Resources
Much like Ted, I have also been struggling to work out how to best manage my resources... -
Overstimulated II
Today was my second float since being in London. It felt much more needed than the first; after having been here for three whole weeks, I’ve been overwhelmed with both sensations and emotions, and I needed some time away from the former in order to unpack the latter... -
Overstimulated
There’s a lot going on in London; sounds, sights, smells and of course an abundance of tastes... -
Shorts Weather
Today is the first time all year I’ve donned shorts for reasons other than exercise, and it was pretty lovely... -
Meet The Team
Today was the first time I got to meet the majority of my team in person, and it was a wonderful experience... -
Dry June
On Sunday I went for a reasonably long run (~27.5km) and then proceed to have several pints of ale in the evening and about 4 hours sleep... -
New Routines II
It’s been slightly over two weeks since I moved here, and my idealised new routine has not only not materialised, almost no progress has been made whatsoever... -
Teens of Denial
Thursday marked 5 years since the release of Car Seat Headrest’s tenth album, Teens of Denial... -
Guernsey is Inescapable
One of the things I was particularly looking forward to about London was the sense of anonymity... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews VI: Chilango
For the last day of my week of trying new places, it was time for Chilango, a burrito joint that I’d had my eye on from pretty much as soon as I got to London... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews V: Omoide
Today I had the pleasure of not eating lunch solo, and instead going out to eat with my product manager, who suggested Omoide, a delightful sushi place just slightly further away from Tower Bridge but still within comfortable walking distance... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews IV: The Athenian
There are a couple of Greek places within easy walking distance of the office that I’ve had my eye on trying, and after checking out the menu on Deliveroo, I decided that The Athenian ought to be first up... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews III: Sami's Lebanese Deli and Crosstown
Today I pushed the boat out and ordered from a real person, not once, but twice... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews II: Leon
Today I went to Leon for lunch, which appealed as it’s schtick is allegedly doing healthy fast food... -
Tower Bridge Lunch Reviews
While I said the other day my anxiety hasn’t stopped me from doing too much, it has stopped me maximising my lunch options in the last week... -
Back Floating
Today was my first chance to head back to Floatworks since November 2019, and I’d missed it dearly... -
A Week In London
It’s now been a week since I arrived in London, and so far not only have I survived, I am dangerously tempted to say that I’ve thrived... -
No Scale
It’s been a long time since I’ve lived without a scale, and so far it seems to be a very healthy thing for me... -
Argos
Argos is my new favourite thing, to the extent that I already don’t understand how I have previously functioned without one... -
Procrastinanxiety
One of my biggest fears about moving was that I’d get really anxious about trying anything new such that I won’t feel able to do so, or if I was, it’d require so much mental energy I’d be constantly exhausted... -
The Imminent Office II
Today was my first day in the office, and it certainly lived up to expectations... -
Liberation Day
Today is Liberation Day back home in Guernsey, and in a way I’m sad to be missing it... -
London First Impressions
I’ve now spent a little over a day in London, the city that is now my home... -
It's Really Happening IV
Well, today is the day it really happens. In just a few short hours I’ll be getting on a plane and flying across the sea to what’s to become my new home... -
New Routines
Routine is important to me, particularly in terms of preserving my fragile mental health, but in the past couple of weeks, I have let mine lapse... -
Survivorship Bias
I have been on a huge James Hoffman binge recently. Part of it is because I would like to start trying to make nicer coffee, but I also find his videos incredibly relaxing... -
Packing
Packing sucks and I hate it. The obvious way in which it sucks is that it’s stressful, I have to make decisions about what to take and what to leave behind etc etc, but the thing that I’ve found sucks more is how much sentimentality has been involved in the process... -
Goodbyes
Goodbyes are weird. I know that nobody likes them, and I’m just the same, although I think my dislike comes primarily from feeling awkward around them than necessarily being especially sad that some period of time is coming to an end... -
It's Really Happening III
I’m incredibly excited about moving to London. Not only are there a million new opportunities and experiences available to me there that I am excited about making the most of, there are also a million aspects of Guernsey that I am equally keen to leave behind... -
The Laughing Sea II
I was determined to have one final dip in the sea before I left for London...
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April
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The Dogbreaker
The Dogbreaker is a trail running race in Guernsey, which starts in town before traversing the entirety of the cliff paths from the south east to the south west of the island, finishing at Portelet... -
Stressed
I’m stressed about moving. I think this is pretty fine and normal and human of me and I’m not trying to fight it or anything, but it’s interesting to observe myself as a stressed person... -
I Miss Lockdown
I know that for most people, lockdown was brutal, a time when trying to stay mentally and physically healthy felt like a full-time job, if indeed it were possible at all... -
Which Coffee?
As we all know, I take everything in my life infinitely too seriously, and in keeping that theme, this week’s focus of an unnecessary amount of my attention is coffee... -
Return of the Candidates III
Today saw the practical conclusion of the Candidates tournament, albeit not the actual finale... -
Marathon
Today I ran a marathon - I even have the receipt to prove it... -
Self Analysis is Exhausting
Between low self esteem and having been the beneficiary of a lot of therapy, I spend a lot of mental energy on self analysis... -
The Imminent Office
This month, our office has optionally re-opened to employees for the first time in over a year... -
Lots of Ideas, a Lot Less Motivation
I feel like I’m in another blogging slump again recently, beginning pretty much as soon as I stopped doing the randomly selected idea posts... -
Misbeliefs
I went for lunch with a friend today, someone I consider to be exceptionally intelligent (while I would consider myself to be marginally above average) and we talked a bit about our own misbeliefs... -
It's Really Happening II
Today has been another big step towards the big city living dream becoming a reality, as I put an offer in on a flat... -
It's Really Happening
Today I did something I haven’t done in over a year; booked a flight... -
2021 Book Reviews VI
Day of the Oprichnik by Vladimir Sorokin Having read a handful of Russian classics, then a couple of Russian novels from the 70s, I decided I ought to try and read some contemporary Russian literature, and Day of the Oprichnik was an obvious choice... -
Bloomfield
Yesterday the MCR reunion gig that I had ticket to originally in June 2020 got postponed again until May 2022, which will understandable, was pretty disappointing nonetheless... -
Obsession
A lot of people use the phrase “obsessive personality”, and I’m not sure whether that’s actually a legitimate psychological phenomenon, but either way I think I have one... -
No News
I’ve been on a pretty hot streak with the whole no news thing recently, so much so I almost got away without finding out that Prince Philip had died... -
Return of the Candidates II
The FIDE Candidates tournament is supposedly going to resume again next week, and I’m very excited about it... -
Self Suspicion
I’m pretty sure I’ve talked about the feeling of being suspicious of my own happiness before (having written a fair number of posts at this point, it’s hard to remember exactly what I’ve already said and similarly difficult to search for anything as vague as an idea)... -
Flat Hunting
This weekend my quest to find somewhere to live in Lonon begun in earnest... -
Old Journal Entries
My absolute favourite thing about both blogging and journaling has nothing to do with the process of writing them; it’s to go back and read what I once wrote, after enough time has passed that I’ve forgotten what I might have been thinking or feeling then... -
2021 Book Reviews V
Improbably, I have managed to read yet more books this year... -
I Owe Myself A Lot
During lockdown 2.0 it finally sunk in that I spend far too much time worrying about other people and not I’m paying anywhere near enough attention to my own wants and needs... -
Self-Help Blogs
My fellow blogger and I have both admitted to previously being big consumers of self-help books, and at some point we finally got our respective acts together sufficiently enough to give up on them... -
Putting Pressure on Myself
I have always put a huge amount of pressure on myself, in pretty much everything I spend my time doing... -
Writing Up Old Ideas XII: Round 1 Conclusion
After ten days of writing up my old ideas, chosen from a Trello list that’s old enough to go to school with the help of a random number generator, I have realised that there are two main reasons that I haven’t previously made posts on these topics... -
Writing Up Old Ideas XI: The Link Between Food And Mood
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything more about weight loss, and there’s several reasons for that... -
Writing Up Old Ideas X: Adjusting For My Biases
One of the first steps towards allyship is to recognise that I am a significant part of the problem, and it’s a step I hope I’ve taken... -
Writing Up Old Ideas IX: Money
Money, like death, is a topic I feel uncomfortable writing or speaking about... -
Writing Up Old Ideas VIII: Jealousy
I am an exceptionally jealous person; in fact it’s one of my least favourite qualities about myself... -
Writing Up Old Ideas VII: The Same Advice From Different People
Full disclosure; I was going to try to write a satirical one of these under the guise of it being April 1st...
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March
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Writing Up Old Ideas VI: Problematic Relationships to Fictional Characters
Have you ever seen Mad Men? If you haven’t, it’s about a bunch of advertising execs on Madison Avenue in the 60s, and the protagonist is a guy called Don Draper, played by Jon Hamm... -
Writing Up Old Ideas V: TV Ads
Much like yesterday everyone knows Facebook is bad, everyone knows ads are bad... -
Writing Up Old Ideas IV: How To Connect With People Without Social Media
This idea found its way onto my list back in January 2019, and I think even by then it was an incredibly unoriginal take to not be a fan of social media... -
Writing Up Old Ideas III: Death
Well, this is perhaps the idea that came out of the virtual hat that I’m least excited to write about, so I figured I ought to get it out of the way early... -
Writing Up Old Ideas II: The Comfort & Complacency Of Living In Guernsey
Guernsey is a strange, strange place, and one I have a similarly strange relationship to... -
Writing Up Old Ideas
I have a Trello list of ideas for blog posts that I’ve had since 2018, and even after much pruning of the list and posting of blogs, there are still some cards in it that’re almost 3 years old... -
Mentoring
Today was my first day trying to be a mentor, and it has already proved to be an incredibly interesting experience... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy XIII: Healthy Work-Life Boundaries
Having started a new, fully remote job in January, one of the things I’ve loved about it so far is my current work-life balance... -
Normality Take Two II
It’s been two full days of “normality” now, and honestly… I don’t like it... -
The Barkley Marathons III
Another installment of the Barkley Marathons began on Thursday, and ended less than 48 hours afterwards... -
Normality Take Two
The return to normality tomorrow feels a lot different to the first time round... -
Old Site, New Home II: New Stuff
After a week of checking that none of the basics seemed to be on fire after my migration to Hugo and AWS Amplify, today I had the chance to begin playing around with some of the CI/CD actions I mentioned in my previous post... -
1000 Posts
This is the 1000th post on the blog! I started blogging on Medium back in 2016, then Wordpress, then Blogger, then here... -
2021 Book Reviews IV
Moscow to the End of the Line by Venedikt Yerofeyev I was instantly sold on Moscow to the End of the Line as soon as I heard the basic premise; the story follows a recently unemployed man as he rides the train from Moscow to Petushki to visit his child and girlfriend, gets progressively drunker with each stop and regales the reader with his thoughts on philosophy, religion and politics... -
Breaking Prod
Breaking prod can seem like every developer’s worst nightmare, the one scenario that must be avoided at all costs... -
Phone Anxiety
I have really bad anxiety about phone calls. If I get a phone call from a number I don’t know, 9 times out of 10 I won’t answer... -
The State of the Blog III
I’ve written a few times now, primarily as a reminder to myself, that this blog is meant to be a wholly self-serving endeavour... -
Rituals
I am very much a creature of habit; a lover of rituals... -
Old Site, New Home
The site looks largely the same, but under the hood there have been some very big changes... -
Old Code
It’s remarkable how quickly code ages, and ages poorly at that... -
2021 Book Reviews III
On the Road by Jack Kerouac On the Road is one of those books that I was surprised in myself that I hadn’t read, so it seemed about time to rectify that... -
A Good Thing A Day
When I was first really struggling with depression at school, I got in the daily habit of writing one good thing about that day... -
Detoxing
Today I found myself thinking quite a lot more about interactions detoxes, largely because I realised I am doing one, or at least a sort of one... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy XII: Yoga
At the expense of being preachy about yoga now (sorry - I know the list gets ever longer), since taking it up during lockdown, I’ve found it definitely has some amount of therapeutic benefit... -
Making The Most Of It
As I’m now in my penultimate month in Guernsey, I’m trying to make the most of it while I have the opportunity... -
Not Jinxing It II
Another piece of the not-jinxing-it puzzle occured to me today, which is that I don’t really know why I’m happy at the moment... -
Post Pandemic Plans
I’ve been reluctant to make any concrete post pandemic plans for months, for fear that they’ll only end up being cancelled and I’ll be disappointed... -
Not Jinxing It
Whenever anyone asks me how I’m doing recently, I’m exceptionally reluctant to be honest with them... -
Big Company Opportunities
One of the things I am loving about working at a large company is that there’s so many cool events in the calendar I can just show up to... -
Cold Bones
Now we are approaching spring, I am incredibly grateful for the longer days... -
Blitz II
Another thing I have noticed during my recent blitz glut is that when I make a mistake, I am quick to become frustrated at myself...
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February
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Lockdown Goals III: Yoga Complete
Contrary to form, I have actually complete one of my goals, and did indeed manage to do some kind of yoga every day for the entirety of February... -
The Laughing Sea
In Siddhartha, one of the passages that struck me the most was the description of the titular character’s relationship the river, on which he was a ferryman... -
Introversion vs Extroversion
Yesterday my manager made a comment along the lines of;.. -
A Keen Idiot
The other day, one of my teammates described himself as a “keen idiot”, with regards to signing up to learn about new things at our company... -
Online Chess Tournaments II
In lockdown I feel like I am really running out of things to write about….. -
Emotional Riches II
While lamenting the constant exhaustion of my “emotionally rich” life barely over a month ago, I am pleased to say I’ve done a pretty good job of swapping for something more emotionally bland recently, and I’m loving it... -
Blitz
Since playing in the tournament I mentioned last week, I have apparently caught “the bug” once more, and am spending most of my spare time playing 3/0 blitz games... -
2021 Book Reviews II
It turns out that during lockdown, there’s not a lot to do other than read, and so I am even further ahead of my original reading goal for the year - I’m actually already there... -
Moving
I will be shortly moving to the mainland UK, and I am conscious that the imminence of my departure is likely to sneak up on me... -
Online Chess Tournaments
I play quite a lot of chess online which is no surprise to anyone who knows me I’m sure... -
Emotional Fragility
By and large I’ve been doing pretty well recently. I feel good most of the time, with a baseline of content, occasionally spiking up to actual happiness... -
Lent
Today is the first day of Lent, not something I usually pay great attention to, but there was some company-wide discussion of it this morning that made me think of it a little... -
A Year Without Flying
The last time I took a flight was February 2020, from Birmingham back to Guernsey, a year ago today... -
The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel
I am a sucker for a good true crime/mystery docuseries. Netflix’s The Vanishing at the Cecil Hotel reeled me in immediately as it had something most shows its ilk don’t for me - I already know a little about the case... -
Valentine's Day II
Valentine’s Day is not my favourite day of the year. Actually, it’s a pretty serious contender for my least favourite... -
Power Cuts
We suffered a power cut this afternoon, and fortunately our electricity is back now, but it was an unpleasant couple of hours... -
Fiction and Escapism
So far in lockdown, I’ve done a pretty good job of reading regularly, a new habit I’m trying to build... -
2021 Book Reviews I
As it turns out, I’m improbably ahead of my reading goal for the year, having already managed to get 3 books under my belt so far in 2021... -
Being a Mid Level Dev II
It’s not been dangerously close to a month of not being a “junior” anymore... -
Frustration
It has been a frustrating day at work, and obviously by at work I mean in the 4 metre square “office” adjacent to my bedroom where my desk touches three of the four walls... -
There's Snow Hope
Upon waking this morning, I was struck by the thought that it’s fucking cold... -
When It's Easy, It's Easy III
A little over 18th months since I last wrote about everything being easier when I’m not depressed and I have had a fairly major bout of depression in the interim... -
Feeling On
Lockdown 2.0 means the return of Zoom quizzes, and I participated in one on Wednesday... -
For the first time Review
I’ve been a huge fan of English post-punks Black Country, New Road since hearing their first single, Athen’s, France in 2019, and have been desperate for them to release an album ever since... -
Time To Talk
Today is Time to Talk Day here in the UK and while attending a related webinar at work today, it got me thinking that while I am getting a lot better at being the one doing the talking, I’m nowhere near where I want to be when it comes to listening... -
Window Shopping for Flats
Alarmingly, I will be moving to the UK in just 3 months time, and I’m sure it’s going to fly by... -
Lockdown Take Two III
Uncharacteristically, I appear to have righted the shape when it comes to my mental health lockdown... -
Dry January II: Review
After a month without alcohol I feel… pretty much exactly the same as I did before...
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January
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Lockdown Goals II: Yoga
Lockdown has so far brought with it a lot more sitting in a desk chair, which has sadly also brought with it some lower back pain... -
The Happiness Project
A lot of people have written about their version of a happiness project, and in a way, shouldn’t our whole lives be a personal happiness project?.. -
Finishing What I Start
I am not particularly good at finishing what I start, whether that be courses, side projects, or “weight loss journeys” (I am however, exceptionally good at finishing off pints of ice cream once started)... -
Running in the Dark II
I’d like to retract all the good things [I previously said] about running in the dark... -
Lockdown Take Two II
In the past few days since we’ve re-entered lockdown, my habit of overthinking things has got really, really bad... -
Being a Mid Level Dev
As of last week I am now supposedly a mid-level dev, rather than a junior one... -
Lockdown Goals I
I really want to keep exercising as much as I can in lockdown, although right now my motivation is squarely 0... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss VII
One of my first reactions to the news of the new lockdown yesterday was to worry about my weight... -
Lockdown Take Two
For the first time since June, Guernsey now has internal restrictions because of the ongoing pandemic... -
Five Thoughts After Five Days at a New Job
It’s been a whole working week since I started my new job on Monday, and naturally I have plenty of thoughts about it, most of which are good... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss VI
After complaining about it not two days ago, stepping on the scale this morning yielded a meaningfully lower weight for the first time since stopping drinking and trying to exercise more/eat less... -
Prententious Blogs
I have been struggling with the feeling that all my blog posts are painfully pretentious recently, the Joy Division one the other day springs to mind... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss V
I have a friend. He’s deeply flawed, but so am I, so I feel like we make a good pair... -
Blue Monday
Today is supposed to be the worst day of the year - cold, wet, dark, back at work with the holidays already long forgotten... -
Joy Division
It’s been a Joy Divison kinda day. I think Unknown Pleasures is one of the greatest albums ever created, and I’ve binged it all the way through a couple of times already since waking up... -
New Job Nerves
It’s just two more sleeps until I finally start my new job, working as a backend engineer for Zoopla... -
2021 Goals II
It’s been a few days and to be honest I haven’t come up with any particularly interesting goals, but still... -
Emotional Riches
Ted often describes my life as being “emotionally rich”, in comparison to his which I would characterise as “emotionally consistent”... -
Noughts and Crosses
As part of my efforts to learn Go, this week I wrote my first (exceptionally basic) program from scratch in the language... -
Running in the Dark
In an attempt to get back into the 9-5 mindset before starting work again on Monday, I’ve been trying to get up earlier this week and do some exercise before heading to the office... -
2021 Goals
While talking to a friend yesterday, I remembered that usually at the start of a new year people set goals, and I haven’t... -
High Stakes Blogging
As my favourite blogging fun-player points out, the rising price of ethereum is making this bet spicier by the day... -
Weightlifting
After not having tried any olympic lifting for several years, I went to a class today, in true Guernsey fashion being taken by the same guy who had already taught me to squat, snatch and clean way back when... -
Alexi Laiho
I know there are lots of things to be sad about, and a lot of people to mourn, but this week one of my oldest musical heroes passed away... -
The Digital Greenhouse
Today was my first day in the Digital Greenhouse, Guernsey’s premier coworking space, and the first time I’ve had the opportunity to use one since 2017 in Playa Del Carmen... -
America
It feels like another one of those days when writing about anything other than America is to wilfully ignore the elephant in the room... -
Waking Up
I have always hated getting up in the mornings. I would quite happily spend half my waking life in my bed, and when I’ve been depressed enough, I’ve spent a good deal more than that... -
Comfort Eating
I’ve been a comfort eater my whole life, and there have been times I’ve really hated that... -
Journaling I
I’ve got into a pretty good habit of journaling recently, having managed to do so daily for the last two weeks... -
Go Karting
Today I went go karting for the first time, another new opportunity I am incredibly grateful to have when few others do... -
A Good Start
I think everyone on the planet is hoping that 2021 is a better year than 2020 was, myself very much included...
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2020
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December
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New Year's Resolutions II
Last year I didn’t write about resolutions, but I still feel pretty much the same as I did two years ago... -
Trumpet
For the past 7 or so years I have picked up my trumpet circa once annually, and today was 2020’s turn... -
December Blues
This part of the year is always well and truly my least favourite... -
Lightbulb Moments
The best bit about learning anything, at least in my opinion, is the lightbulb moments you get along the way... -
Aeroplane Mode
Not a particularly revelatory one today, but I’ve been using aeroplane mode a lot on my phone recently, and I really like it... -
Go First Impressions
I’m about ten hours into learning Go so far, and my first impressions are very positive... -
Christmas
Apparently I’ve not written a blog about Christmas, on Christmas before, so here it is... -
Missed Hits
Recommendation algorithms get a lot of very justified negative attention, but when done well they can be wonderful... -
Dry January
I am very fortunate in that I don’t (yet) get especially bad physical hangovers, even after a very heavy night of drinking, but I do get emotional ones... -
Christmanxiety
I will concede, it is not the best the best portmanteau in the world, but you get the idea... -
Crossfit II
I don’t want to be one of those people who starts doing Crossfit and then only ever talks about how great Crossfit is, because that’s insufferable and I know I’m already insufferable about a million other things as it is... -
Video Games
I’ve always played a lot of video games. They’re the best tools for escapism I’ve ever found, and I’ve spent most of my life wanting to escape from things... -
Christmas Nights Out
Christmas nights out are always the best. Everyone is buzzing off not having to work for a few days, you get to bump into everyone from school you haven’t spoken to in years, 12 months worth of worries can all be forgotten for the duration of a handful of blurry evenings... -
Wasted Days
Today has been, by most reasonable metrics, a wasted day. I haven’t done anything... -
Imposter Syndrome
When I start my new job next month, I know that I am going to struggle greatly with imposter syndrome... -
Crossfit
In the spirit of both trying to say yes to new experiences and also getting ahead of the sort-my-life-out-in-January rush, today I tried Crossfit for the first time... -
Tired All The Time
I feel like I have written this exact blog post before, but it is another evening when I am too tired to think of anything else, and I’ve been tired all day... -
Album Of The Year 2020
I don’t really think anybody should care about my opinion on music, but still, there’s been a lot of it I’ve enjoyed this year... -
Cooking For Other People
I’m a thoroughly mediocre cook and tend to just cook the same very small number of dishes on rotation for myself, when I bother to cook at all... -
Clean Environment Clean Mind
As somebody once said, the key to a clean mind is a clean environment... -
Things I'm Looking Forward To After The Pandemic IV: Climbing Gyms
Whilst I am very grateful that the sole climbing gym in Guernsey has remained open for the last several months, it can’t really compare to the gyms in London... -
A Retraction
Yesterday I wrote that I was really excited about Cyberpunk coming out today, as if that was my predominant feeling throughout the day... -
The Night Before Christmas
The second item on my “reasons not to kill yourself” list that I mentioned the other day is “so you can play Cyberpunk 2077”, which comes out tomorrow... -
Ice Skating
In my ongoing quest to be one of these outdoors-y people who says yes to things, I went ice-skating for the first time in probably a decade today... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss IV
I track my calories very on and off, usually managing to stick with it for a couple of months before being too ashamed to log a particular meal and then falling off the wagon... -
Shingeki no Kyojin Season 4
I have a note on my iPhone titled “reasons not to kill yourself”... -
Sober Socialising
As I think is probably very common for young British men, I will only ever invite my male friends for one kind of social engagement; a drink... -
Endings
Today was the last session of the 24-session long therapy course that I began back in 2018, having taken an 18 month hiatus at week 10... -
Forgetting
A certain someone and I quite often talk about our habit of forgetting things about ourselves... -
Things I'm Looking Forward To After The Pandemic III: Floating
It’s been a whole year since I’ve been able to lock myself in a dark, quiet box filled with very salty water and I am missing it very much... -
Christmas Season
I promised myself I’d get all my Christmas shopping done before December, given that I had the time off work...
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November
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Sarkese Digital Nomads
While I think from an outside Guernsey can seem like a strange place, Sark can only be infinitely stranger... -
Productive Overthinking
As previously discussed, I’ve been an overthinker my whole life. I’m working on making it not so, trying to train myself to focus my mind on something else, but as its the habit of a lifetime, changing it is going to take a while... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy XI: Sleep
OK so somewhat low hanging fruit when it comes to a) blog posts and b) things that might be beneficial to one’s mental health but I am currently so tired I can’t even really see properly, which is clearly not conducive to feeling great about life, the universe and everything... -
Prisencolinensinainciusol
I feel like we’re all often in need of distractions from the world at the moment, and today I found a pretty good, albeit short one... -
November 26th 2017
Having spoken about journaling the other day, I read through some old entries of mine, and the one that I wrote exactly three years ago tickled me a little... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy X: Journaling
Thoughts always seem so different when written down compared to when they’re bouncing around in my brain, and while I write here every day, there’s plenty that I won’t write about in public, including the juiciest bits... -
Things To Write About
I’ve been really struggling to find things to write about recently, hence this piece of meta-commentary... -
The Queen's Gambit
The Queen’s Gambit is the current big-thing on Netflix now, and given my non-chess friends (which is actually all my friends, but still) are telling me to watch it, I could hardly say no... -
Things I'm Looking Forward To After The Pandemic II: Seeing Friends
The thing I’m most looking forward to after the pandemic is, without doubt, being able to see my friends again... -
KG Review
After listening through King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard’s new live album yesterday, today was the turn of their new studio record, simply titled K... -
Things I'm Looking Forward To After The Pandemic I: Live Music
Just like everyone else, there are a lot of things I’m looking forward to once some semblance of normality returns to the world... -
Groundhog Day
Recently I’ve been playing a game called The Outer Wilds, an indie gem that won every award going last year... -
Krill Waves Radio
I am always looking for new things to take my mind off the real world, so today I present to you my new flavour of the month: Krill Waves Radio... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy IX: Podcasts
I have a lot of free time on my hands at the moment, and pretty much all my friends are working during the day, so a large proportion of that free time is spent on my own... -
One Tab II
After a week of limiting myself to only have one browser tab open at a time, I would heartily recommend it to anyone who has trouble concentrating while using a computer... -
Just Like Riding a Bike V
After having a fairly long break from riding my bike due to another puncture, I’ve been trying to get back my confidence back this week... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss III
It’s been one of those days when I feel especially at war with my body... -
Manifold Garden
A quick one this evening as I haven’t given myself enough time to write a meaningful blog and I’m already late for my engagement for the evening... -
Curiosity
On this week’s episode of things my therapist says to me, we have a pretty simple one; be more curious about other people... -
Too Close To Home
The whole point of entertainment is to make you feel things, but sometimes somethings make me feel a whole lot more than I wanted... -
I'm Bad at Guitar
I’m really bad at guitar. And that’s probably a good thing, because I’d be even more insufferable than I am now if I had any kind of talent for it... -
One Tab
I am horrible at tab management, as my former coworkers often could not help but point out... -
26
I had wanted to write something more high-effort for my birthday, but sadly I am far too tired for that, but I’ll get round to it at some point this week... -
Election Day II
Again, I don’t especially want to write about this, but I also don’t have enough time to think of anything else, so here it is... -
Choosing What To Think V: Banishment
I’ve always thought that all my thoughts served some kind of purpose, were there for a reason, were at least worthy of being examined even if ultimately I was not going to let myself be swept along by them... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss II
I quite like the idea of keeping a diary of how I feel about my body, rather than recording my weight every day... -
Election Day
Not writing about the US Election feels like it would be a deliberate choice to avoid it, so I feel like I have to write about it, but equally I don’t want to... -
Ten Things I'm Looking Forward To Moving For
While I was in the process of applying for jobs, I didn’t really allow myself to look forward to living in London, even though moving there was a large part of the reason that I was even looking for a new job... -
Some More Thoughts About Weight Loss
I’m not happy with my body. I view so much of that dissatisfaction through the lens of my numerical weight - if I weigh myself, I have some kind of emotional response one way or the other, even that doesn’t have any bearing on how my body looks or works at all... -
Think Less
If I could distill all my therapist’s advice to me thus far into just two words, it’d be these: think less...
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October
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Exploring
I’m not working for (at least) the next three weeks, and I don’t have anything else I particularly need to do, past the usual minimum requirements to stay alive... -
I Can't Wait To Be Old
I’m still young, and absolutely want to do my best to make the most of the opportunities that my youth affords to me while I can... -
Last Days
Tomorrow is my last day at my current job, the third day of its kind that I have had in my short career so far... -
Taikyoku Shogi
Until today I’d only heard of the most popular variant of shogi, often called Japanese chess, featuring a 9x9 board but with a broadly similar rule-set... -
How Far To Go
One of my friends is having a rough time right now, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how to best support him, what responsibilities one’s friends have and where appropriate boundaries for a friendship might lie... -
It's Dark
Now the clocks have gone back, it’s dark when I walk home from work, and I absolutely hate it... -
The Basics
When it comes to managing depression, there’s a set of basics that everyone tells you are a solid foundation for better mental health... -
Sweating The Odds
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve got into the habit of checking the odds on the US Presidential Election multiple times a day... -
The First Honk
I avoid confrontation like the plague. I’m the kind of person who apologises if someone steps on my foot... -
Ennui
Depression is… tiring, above all else. People who are depressed say they are tired all the time, and I am no different... -
Lost For Things To Do
Now that I suddenly have a lot more free time and mental space… I’m not so sure what to do with it... -
How Should You Write?
Recently, one of my old school friends has also started a blog... -
New Job
Having handed in my resignation today, I can finally talk about the fact that I have a new job, and a bit about the process I went through to get it... -
Doing Nothing
Today is a day during which I forced myself to do nothing - or at least nothing productive... -
Outdoor Bouldering
Today was my first time getting to try bouldering outdoors rather than in the gym, and I had naively expected the two would be pretty similar... -
Getting Your Hopes Up
I try really, really hard not to get my hopes up, about pretty much anything that I want... -
LinkedIn
I have whined about social media before and none of it is ever exactly a hot take, but having recently got LinkedIn, I feel like it deserves a whole post to itself... -
Drunk Buys
On Friday night, I bought something online while fairly intoxicated, at about 4 in the morning... -
Strangers' Validation II: Niche Memes
I had another dose of validation from strangers today, although in some ways I liked this one less... -
Strangers' Validation
Today at the gym, I told a joke to my buddy... -
Lead Climbing
After an incredibly unsuccessful climbing trip yesterday, I decided the best way to get back on the horse today was to push my own personal limits a little, and try to lead a climb for the first time - meaning I was placing in gear to use as protection the whole way up the route, and the rope was below me, rather than above... -
Hangovers
I am exceptionally lucky in that I get relatively palatable hangovers... -
Manifestos III
I am pretty burnt out of talking about the election results today, so here are some quick thoughts in lieu of anything better considered or articulated... -
Quantitative Analysis
I really love the idea of quantitative analysis. It’s results seem to be as close to predicting the future as mere mortals can possibly come - obviously machine learning is set to overtake human quants imminently in fields where it hasn’t already, but the robots live forever... -
Inside Out
I watched the Disney Pixar film Inside Out tonight, on the recommendation of my therapist... -
Naps
Another short one today because I am exhausted and am about to try to squeeze in a nap before I head out to a quiz tonight - napping not being something I do often at all... -
Manifestos II
I’m up past my bedtime, trying to sift through the remaining candidate manifestos to choose the 38 candidates most deserving of my vote tomorrow (I’ve also been writing snarky tweets about them... -
My Soul Toupee
On Friday, my therapist drew to attention to a trait that has previously been dubbed my soul toupée - an underlying sense of anger... -
Media Fatigue
I can feel media fatigue starting to set in - with local news being entirely dominated by our election, Reddit/Twitter/national news being dominated by the US election (I can’t remember the last British policy decision I read about) and obviously everything, everyone, everywhere still being dominated by coronavirus… it’s a lot... -
Hacktoberfest
It’s only the second of October, and already there’s been drama and mudslinging aplenty... -
A Monster Is Born
After yesterday’s talk of endless disco, today I am happy to be able to share some of my first artifically generated blog posts - I am not yet ready to label them as “art”, but I think they’re pretty interesting nonetheless...
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September
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Endless Disco
Disco Elysium is one of my favourite games ever, and in fact might be one of my favourites pieces of art ever... -
Moving Out III
Moving is incredibly exhausting, to me anyway. It seems to cover every single type of exhaustion; physical from hauling a seemingly endless stream of boxes up and down stairs, mental from having to work out how to do everything in the minimum necessary number of car journeys and the Tetrisesque boot-packing that follows, and emotional from reliving all the memories you made in your former home, while coming to terms with the fact that you won’t be making any more there... -
Directionlessness
There have been many times in my life where I have felt directionless, and now is one of them... -
Slow Internet
The worst thing about living at my parents' place so far; the internet here sucks... -
Moving Out II
Moving most of my stuff out of the flat today was pretty sad to be honest... -
When Was The Last Time You Just Listened?
Today at work someone asked “when was the last time you just sat and listened to music, without doing anything else?.. -
What Makes a Good Politician
Now faced with the somewhat overwhelming nature of having 38 possible votes to give 119 possible candidates, and in a time when voting seems more important then ever, I’ve spent quite a bit of time recently trying to work out how I’m actually going to spend said votes... -
Voice Notes
I remember when I first moved to Mexico and discovered that people who aren’t from the UK do this weird thing where they send each other voice notes like barbarians rather than just texting each other like civilized members of society... -
Last Day Of Summer II
As much as yesterday I lamented the end of summer, today I was reminded that I actually quite like the autumn... -
Last Day of Summer
Today was gloriously sunny and hot here in Guernsey, but the weather is set to be grey and rainy for the next two weeks, and it seems like summer is finally over... -
Moving Out
Today I began moving out of the flat I’ve lived in for a little over a year and a half, moving my sofa back into my parents... -
Long Overdue Tasks
Today I finally got round to accomplishing something that’s been on my to do list since March, namely getting my new graphics card working... -
Mugs
My first ‘real’ job out of university entailed working for a sports betting syndicate, which naturally prodcued some interesting stories... -
Thinking Before Speaking
I have a friend who I more thoroughly audit my words with before speaking them, taking extra care that what I am about to say is unlikely to upset them, considering more interpretations and implications than usual... -
Zero Notifications
I am always on a quest to have 0 red notification bubbles on my iPhone... -
Ambiguous Jokes
One of my favourite qualities in other people is when they can leave me completely 50/50 as to whether or not they are joking... -
I'm Thinking of Ending Things Review
I’m Thinking of Ending Things is a Netflix original film released this month, written and directed by Charlie Kaufman, of various other weird film fame... -
Presence
Every day, ish, I write in my journal in the morning, and there is a heading called Intentions... -
Last Night of the Proms
I’ve watched the Last Night of the Proms as part of a large, flag-waving crowd quite a few times before, but this evening was markedly different from all the rest... -
Manifestos
Today saw the release of the combined candidate manifestos for the Guernsey election next month... -
Dear Jacob II
Dear Jacob, It’s been a whole year already, time really flies... -
Destressing
Today I am very stressed, and with a couple of hours left before bedtime I am trying to work out how best to ease this mental tension... -
Return of the Candidates
Another exhausting day, and I really ought to go to bed, but I also need to avoid losing any more crypto by not writing a blog post, so all I really have to say is how excited I am that dates for the second half of the FIDE Candidates Tournament has been announced... -
Media Bingeing
I always used to feel a lot of guilt when I spent a lot of time bingeing a show on Netflix or sunk hours into a new video game... -
Half marathon in the books IV
This year was my second attempt at the Guernsey half marathon, and I have to say, I enjoyed this one a whole lot more... -
Killing Eve
I have completely run out of time to write a blog today as I have been unexpectedly busy so all I have to say is that I started watching Killing Eve this week, and it is mind-blowingly good... -
Small Hands
I have hated my hands ever since I was a teenager... -
Proctrasinating Homework
When I was in school, I would always procrastinate doing my homework - every single piece would get done the night before at the earliest... -
Ice Cream Victories
Ever since I’ve bought my own food, ice cream has been my go-to binging staple... -
Feeling Overwhelmed II
Since I last wrote about feeling overwhelmed, I think I have at least got a lot better at recognising it at any earlier juncture, before I well and truly reach breaking point and become unable to function...
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August
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Vale Earth Fair
Yesterday was the first time I’d been to the Vale Earth Fair since I was about 14, and it was a lot of fun... -
Fall Guys
After both not having played many video games recently and also been stuck with the feeling of not knowing what to do to have fun when I have free time to myself, I picked up Fall Guys, the bubblegum battle royale party game from Mediatonic... -
Post Punk
I’ve spent some time recently thinking about the kind of culture I consume and why I consume it... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy VIII: Going To The Pub
Going to the pub is a stable of the British social diet, and while this obviously comes with some caveats, I think going to the pub with your mates is immensely therapeutic... -
Everything is Political
Until recently, I would never have considered myself interested in politics, or indeed a “political” person... -
Unwanted Feelings
There are some feelings I have that I don’t want, and as far as I can tell only affect me negatively... -
Therapeutic Work is Draining
I’ve been trying to watch videos about Transactional Analysis as part of the ‘homework’ my therapist set me this week, and I am finding each one of them absolutely exhausting... -
I Love You IV
Earlier this week my little brother told me about how one of his friends had had a few drinks and told him that they loved him, and his response seemed to be that he was taken aback by it... -
Choosing What To Think IV: Suppression vs Regulation
I’ve come across another piece of the “choose what to think” puzzle... -
Singalongs
One of my least favourite things about my own taste in music is that it’s hard to find songs to sing along to with other people - and I really love being able to sing with someone besides my steering wheel... -
It's Only Fun When It Hurts
I think I am a favourite to one day get the words “no gamble, no future” tattooed somewhere on my body... -
Therapy Deja Vu II
Today was therapy session numero dos, and there was plenty more deja vu to be had... -
Friends
In my own mind, I have a lot of good reasons to have low self-esteem (don’t worry, I have no interest in listing them in this blog post)... -
Choosing What To Think III
I’ve still been trying the whole, choose-what-you-think thing. By and large it’s going OK, but I’ve been wondering if it marks a distinction between being mentally healthy and not... -
Women Don't Owe You Pretty Review
Florence Given’s Women Don’t Owe You Pretty is billed as an accessible introduction to feminism, and when I was recommended it, I knew I was going to have to approach it the right way - I’ve never read a whole book about feminism before... -
No Such Thing as Should
I’ve spent the day trying to action a phrase that a previous therapist once told me - that there’s no such thing as should... -
Happiness
As usual, I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness lately, what it is, how to get it... -
Therapy Deja Vu
This morning was my first therapy session in almost two years... -
Pandemic Expectations
Having been loosely invited on a trip to the US in March (somewhat irresistably to Vegas specifically), I feel a little torn... -
Protect Your Energy
One of my favourite sections in Florence Given’s book, Women Don’t Owe You Pretty (review coming shortly), was the part where she describes the idea and importance of protecting your own energy... -
Vulfpeck Track 10
Vulfpeck have already done some fairly unconventional (or perhaps trollish) things when it comes to their albums - for example Sleepify, their ten song record which consistly solely of silence, designed to be played while their fans slept... -
Empathy
I used to think I was quite an empathic person, that I was good at putting myself in other people’s shoes and understanding how they might feel in a certain situation... -
Helping Others Instead of Helping Myself
I’ve been thinking recently about my tendency to try to find value in myself by helping other people... -
Things I Hate: Country Music
On today’s episode of Things I Hate is country music. I like to think of myself as relatively musically open minded... -
Radical Listening
After having spoken about radical honesty in the past, it’s something I still think about a lot, in the context of how I can do it better and who with... -
Weight Over Time
According to my journal, four years ago today, I weighed 229lbs, and according to my scales, today I weight 189lbs... -
The Struggles of Others
A couple of days ago I wrote the following: Maybe it’s arrogant or missing the point of me to say, but I think the majority of people I know here have had to struggle for very little in their lives... -
Things I'm Grateful For: Light Edition
I’m grateful for the light in my life - in a very literal way... -
Music vs Podcasts
Given that I now spend most of my waking life with earphones in, I’ve been thinking a lot about which is better to drown out the din of the existential void - music or podcasts... -
Mental Health in Public
Over the past decade or two, there’s been a big push to talk about mental health as part of the public consciousness; to make it less taboo; to try to raise awareness of issues which affect far more people than those who choose to be vocal about them... -
Choosing What To Think II
Today is day two of my considered effort to choose what to think about...
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July
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Choosing What To Think
In This is Water DFW describes how he felt the concept of college teaching him how to think seemed a little insulting, given that he had passed a rigorous entrance process that supposedly demonstrated that he in fact already knew how to think... -
Blogs Actually Worth Writing
I spend quite a lot of time trying to work out what topics are actually “worth” writing about, and often find myself rejecting using a slew of ideas because I don’t think they match whatever arbitrary standard I set myself... -
Stubborn Cats
Today, as I attempted to leave the garage in my car, a bold tabby cat blocked my path... -
Defining Characteristics
Today, a girl I went on a couple of dates with last year used “partial to a bit of fencing” as my defining characteristic, and I found it hilarious... -
Happy Playlists
The idea of “go to songs when you want to be happy” got brought up today, and I realised I don’t have any - although I do have them for various other emotions... -
Despair Is Not Useful
I’ve been thinking a lot recently about how despair isn’t useful... -
Boundaries
Historically, one of my biggest problems in my relationships, whether platonic, romantic or professional, is that I set very poor boundaries... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For VII
As I’ve just been summoned to taxi duty, it looks like another one of these is in order as I need to leave imminently... -
Dubai Chess & Culture Club
I was reminiscing earlier today about the opportunity I had to play chess in Dubai - more specifically the building in which I got to play... -
Staycations
In the past, I never would’ve entertained the idea of a staycation, and am slightly ashamed to say that I would’ve harshly judged anyone who professed to enjoy them... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy VII: Kayaking
Today I went kayaking for the first time in circa ten years, and I have to say, it was pretty great... -
Just Like Riding a Bike IV
In the end, it took a little bit of peer pressure to get me out on the bike I know own - every time I thought about it, the anxiety of it got the better of me... -
Birthdays
I’ve always found birthdays a little underwhelming, although not because other people haven’t tried to make them special for me... -
Chess Programming: Bitboards
Today the engine work began in earnest, and I’ve already made some decent progress... -
Things I Hate: Yachts
I really hate yachts. They are the embodiment of the evils of capitalism... -
Chess Programming II: The Competition
The bad news for any of my regular readers who are interested in neither chess nor programming is that I am probably going to be writing about it quite a bit in the next week or two... -
Chess Programming
I’ve recently starting trying to put together my own chess engine... -
Things I Hate: James Bond
In this exciting new series (exciting for me anyway) I plan to just complain a lot about things and try to emulate the great Charlie Brooker so that it’s hopefully either funny or gets across a meaningful underlying point... -
Losing All Your Games
While updating the results on the Guernsey Chess Club website today, I noticed that one particular individual has accomplished a rare but simultaneously undesirable feat - they have lost every single one of their games in this league cycle... -
No Internet
Our ISP is down, island-wide. This is only making it’s way to Github’s servers because my computer is tethered to my phone’s 3G connection... -
Just Like Riding a Bike III
Today’s update on my attempts to learn to ride a bike is an important milestone - I actually bought one... -
Mean Reviews
Yesterday I discovered a new guilty pleasure, and one which I strongly suspect will stick; reading mean reviews... -
Unnecessary Answers
Yesterday I had an initial appointment with a therapist, and part of our conversation sparked a deeply uncomfortable feeling in me - the kind that comes from someone else giving you some deeply personal insight into yourself that not only were you not aware of, you were inwardly in denial of... -
Chess and Attention
I spent a lot of time lamenting my own attention span, having annihilated over the years by push notifications and instant gratification culture... -
Other Perspectives
One of the things I’ve become acutely aware of in the past few months is that, as a white man, I can always take up 100% of the space in a conversation if I want to... -
Web Accessibility
The most striking thing about accessibility on the web is that it is terrible... -
New Site
A new creation of mine has been let loose in the web, and you can view it here... -
Sadnesses
Somewhat following on from yesterday’s post, I was thinking about sadness, and more specifically that I experience two fairly distinct kinds... -
Reckful
I’ve been thinking a bit recently about how celebrities and public figures can elicit such strong emotional responses from us, even though these are people we have never met, or interacted with at all... -
Bao
Recently the question was posed as to whether if one were to abstain from cake for 100 days, would the cake on the 101st day taste so good as to counteract all the pain from witholding cake from oneself for the previous days... -
Busy-ness
I’ve only been back in the office for a couple of weeks, and already it feels like everything is back the way it was before lockdown...
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June
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Reddit and Hate Speech
Today Reddit announced the closure of numerous subreddits as part of a new wave of campaign to try to curb hate speech on the site... -
The Feeling After Food
I’ve been trying another little gimmick recently in order to improve my relationship with food, but I quite like this one... -
Sober Narcissism
One of the more interesting things that has come out of undertaking auto-psychoanalysis both with and without a hefty blood alcohol level is how much more I care about other people when I’m drunk... -
Art Club
A couple of my friends have got really into watercolour painting over quarantine, and invited me over today to join them for an impromptu “art club”... -
I Hate It When People Are Nice To Me
I think I’ve talked about this before, but equally I can’t find it, so here it is again... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For VI
Sorry, I’m busy today and there’s nothing else I feel comfortable writing about, so you’re stuck with another one of these... -
An Ode to r/poker
Sometimes I hate the internet. I think a lot of people feel the same... -
Gamer Culture
Over the past year and a bit, someone I am close to has made a handful of references to me being part of gamer/gaming culture, and it’s always evoked a slightly defensive response... -
Normality
I am incredibly fortunate to live in a place where the majority of the governmental restrictions put into place to limit the spread of COVID-19 have now been eased... -
Marathons
In lieu of anything more interesting to write about - this week the marathon I had originally signed up for in October last year got postponed for the second time... -
Punisher Review
Phoebe Bridgers is rapidly becoming my go-to artist to have a cathartic cry to, and her latest full length album, Punisher, is a perfect addition to all my sad playlists... -
Social Responsibility II
This is maybe the third or fourth attempt at writing this blog….. -
Fragility
I think a lot of us put a huge amount of time and effort into painting ourselves as being as un-fragile as possible... -
Mercy
Perhaps I should add mercifulness to my list of qualities that I think make a man... -
Ikigai
The name of this blog obviously betrays that I like profound Japanese words as much as the next guy, and ikigai is no exception... -
The Evil Dead
This weekend I finally got round to watching Sam Raimi’s 1981 cult horror classic The Evil Dead and oh boy, it is absolutely deserving of it’s mythical status... -
The Perfect Grilled Cheese
Good news, this is finally not a gratitude post. Except for the fact it is, because it is about how grateful I am that I exist in the same world as grilled cheeses (also I am not open to criticism about my use of American vernacular at this time, “cheese toastie” summons far less imposing images than it’s counterpart from across the Atlantic)... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For V
Even if I don’t keep writing these here, I am definitely going to keep doing them in a journal... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For IV
Honestly maybe I won’t ever write about anything else, these feel much better than complaining about something or other... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For III
I promise at some point I’ll write an actual post about something else - maybe at the weekend... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For II
At some point I will write about something else, I promise... -
Another Three Things To Be Grateful For
Instead of writing another fairly empty post on days when I don’t feel like writing one, I think it’d be better for everyone involved if I tried to channel some kind of positivity into my writing here, and so here are some more things that I am grateful for today... -
Body Image Advice
All body image advice on the internet, as far as I can tell, boils down to these three things;.. -
No Regrets
Firstly, I kinda hate the phrase “no regrets”, not necessarily for its sentiment, but more for how it has been co-opted to be a slighter tamer version of the much-besmirched “you only live once”... -
Positive Feedback
I’m not very good at receiving positive feedback. Actually I’m terrible at it - it’s a reflex for me at this point to downplay whatever I might have done, ignore or dismiss the comment or even say that whoever is being kind to me clearly lacks good judgment... -
Takeaway
Today I am exceptionally grateful for takeaways, and other people’s cooking in general... -
Some Days III
I very seriously considered paying ~$245 to not have to write this blog... -
Cache Invalidation
If you didn’t already know, there is a famous quote in the software world attributed to Phil Karlton that goes like this;.. -
Some Days II
Can I just copy and paste my post from the other day?.. -
Social Responsibility
I picked a really bad year to stop reading the news - likely the worst year of my adult life so far - despite only just being in June, I feel like 2020 has already surpassed 2016 in terms of awful, terrible, no-good years...
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May
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Back to the Office
Tomorrow is going to be my first day back in the office in almost three months... -
Just Like Riding a Bike II
Today saw my second cycling lesson with a friend, where this time we ventured out onto the roads!.. -
Some Days
Some days there is truly nothing I want to write and attach my name to and post to the internet... -
Ben and Jerry's
After a very preachy post about intermittent fasting the other day, it only feels right to balance things out with an appreciation post for Ben and Jerry’s ice cream... -
Ten Days of Meditation
I actually think talking about one’s own experience’s with meditation, particularly without being asked, is incredibly pretentious and narcissistic, and as discussed previously ad nauseam this blog is a constant battle between not wishing to come across as embodying those two qualities and them both being inherent in having to write a blog post every day... -
Intermittent Fasting II
One of the biggest reasons I have struggled with my weight so much over the years is because I don’t associate food with hunger, I associate it with emotions - boredom, sadness, celebration, whatever... -
This is Water
This is Water is the title of an essay by David Foster Wallace (naturally), derived from a commencement speech he gave at Kenyon College, the recording of which can be heard here... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy VI: Climbing Outdoors
Today was the first time I got to experience outdoor (trad) climbing, and let me tell you, it was definitely the most terrified I’ve been since the last flight I took, although this time the fear was all the more anticipatable... -
Just Like Riding a Bike
You know, I’ve always really hated the phrase “it’s just like riding a bike”... -
Weight Loss Communities
Everyone knows weight loss and the internet is a total minefield, a plethora of multi level marketing schemes, tummy tea influencers and opaque motives galore, but in my (admittedly inextensive) experience, peer support weight loss communities on the internet are their own unique flavour of weird... -
Timelessness
There was a very long 2p2 thread I read back in the day (which I don’t feel especially motivated to try and uncover) that was written by a man who was a gambling addict, and knew it... -
NO DREAM Review
Right on cue to ease the lockdown blues, today one of my favourite punk rockers (and a man I recently talked about admiring) Jeff Rosenstock dropped a brand new album with no forewarning at all, titled NO DREAM... -
It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia
Lockdown has reached the stage where I am only interested in filling my time by binge watching mindless trash on Netflix, and so a rewatch of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia seems like just what the doc ordered... -
Fencing
Recently I’ve been missing fencing, or at least sort of. There were a lot of things that frustrated me throughout my fencing career, not least of which was that my results rarely matched my expectations, but there was a feeling I had when I fenced that was unlike any other... -
An Island of Memories
Having been walking for walking’s sake a lot more during lockdown, I’ve visited a lot of nooks and crannies in Guernsey that I might not otherwise venture into... -
The Beauty on One's Doorstep
Today is another day when I am feeling especially sheepish about having previously spent so much time decrying Guernsey... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy V: ASMR
Reading back my previous post on ASMR, it’s funny to see myself talk about it from a time when I had only relatively recently discovered the genre/culture/cult, and was still trying to intellectualise the whole thing and figure it out... -
Feed Me
While trawling through my list of ideas for posts, I discovered that I’d made a not to write about Rachel Maclean’s Feed Me, which I watched in a science/art museum of some description (I think?.. -
Technology as a Force for Good
I think a lot of the mainstream discourse surrounding technology is fairly negative, often veering into the dystopian... -
Narcissism
At the weekend I watched Contrapoints' latest video essay, Cringe, and was really struck by the the last point she makes, not least because it featured David Foster Wallace, and it’s always heartwarming to see the intersection of the Venn diagram of people you admire... -
Return of the Snark
As of last night I’ve given the site a new lick of paint, and I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out... -
Blog Analysis Part Two: Lexicon
Having looked at the feelings behind the words in this blog yesterday, today I want to look at the words themselves... -
Blog Analysis Part One: Sentiment
After playing around with TextBlob a little recently, I thought it'd be fun to run my blog posts through its sentiment analysis feature and see if I could gain any insights into how cynical my blog really might be... -
Saying Yes To The Wrong Things
There’s a book written by Danny Wallace called Yes Man, which I read at some point in my teenage years... -
Maniac Review
As part of my contribution to the now-universal quest to avoid lockdown boredom by absorbing the entire Netflix catalogue, I recently finished watching Maniac, a Netflix original limited series... -
Bad Post
Bad Posts are the best posts. I think a lot is lost when I try and focus too much on writing something ‘good’, I lose my voice, I overthink things, I stop writing about my feelings towards the subject matter... -
Making a Door Less Open Review
On Friday Car Seat Headrest released their new album, Making a Door Less Open, their fourth since signing with Matador Records, and the band’s first full length project of new material since 2016... -
What it Means to be a Man XII: In Conclusion
Good news - this is the last part of the series!.. -
What it Means to be a Man XI: Empathy
For the final pillar of masculinity upon which I intend to rest my metaphorical roof, I have chosen empathy... -
What it Means to be a Man X: Self-Respect
As you might have noticed, I am running out of steam a little bit - I think that was kind of inevitable trying to write on the same topic, to the same standard, for so many days in a row... -
What it Means to be a Man IX: Acceptance
I didn’t grow up in the most accepting of places - Guernsey is about as white and cishet as it gets...
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April
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What it Means to be a Man VIII: Patience
Patience may be a virtue, but it is one that we rarely see cultivated among our number... -
What it Means to be a Man VII: Non-Complicity
A quality which I think is almost never talked about (or at least never by this name) but I think ought to be with some regularity, is non-complicity... -
What it Means to be a Man VI: Persistence
Another habitually underrated quality in my opinion is persistence. Not persistence in the sense of trying one solution to a problem and then repeating the same thing over and over despite it not working - this is clearly entitlement - but in the sense of trying every single solution to a problem... -
What it Means to be a Man V: Unashamedness
Shame is something that both I and I think men in general deal with awfully, frequently with disastrous consequences... -
What it Means to be a Man IV: Humility
Humility is perhaps the quality on my list that I am furthest away from possessing myself... -
What it Means to be a Man III: Honesty
I feel like I’ve writted ad nauseam about the idea of honesty, but it feels impossible to write about the virtues I think should be instilled into every man without mentioning this... -
What it Means to be a Man II: Responsibility
Following on from where I left off yesterday, one of the key traits I think I want to possess as a man is that of responsibility, namely taking it... -
What it Means to be a Man
I’ve lived my whole life having varying degrees of shame about being a man (especially given that I belong to a handful of other demographics that put me in the most privileged among society), often with a lot of guilt that I don’t have more gratitude for the exceptionally fortunate position I am in, that I am not making enough of it... -
Middleditch and Schwartz
Yesterday Thomas Middleditch and Ben Schwartz’s eponymous long-form 3-part improv comedy show came to Netflix, and it is maybe the the funniest thing I’ve ever seen... -
TWINT II
Having fangirled pretty hard over TWINT yesterday, after another day of experimentation and reflection, its potential for nefariousness or at least morally grey applications has somewhat dawned on me... -
TWINT
I’ve been having a play with TWINT today and it is SO much fun... -
Computer Burnout
Quarantine has broken me. I never thought I’d say this, but I think I’m burned out of using my PC altogether... -
Self-Reflection II
Today has been another day of not-entirely-signed-up-for self-reflection. There’s a million and one things in my mind at the moment, but as I sit tiredly at my computer, I’m reminded that thinking is undeniably vastly overrated as a cognitive exercise... -
Hackathon Day 1
For the next week (at least) at work, we’re taking a break from our usual tasks for a hackathon, where we can each prototype an idea, hopefully produce an MVP and see what opportunities might be viable for us in the future... -
Self-Reflection
Whenever I hear the words self-reflection, I tend to think of meditation, of sitting quietly by oneself with as few stimuli as possible, so that you can peel back the shy layers of your consciousness to unearth secrets which you keep from even yourself... -
I Miss Climbing
Just a short one today because I had a million things to do today and it’s super late, the next edition of Leetcode solutions will be coming probably at the weekend when I have more time... -
Flight Refunds
This Friday I was due to Argentina, and naturally, it has been cancelled... -
Escapism
Today I renewed my Crunchyroll subscription (the most popular anime streaming service) and proceeded to lose myself in various bright coloured, unnecessarily shout-y worlds for the next 8 hours before I realised I was hungry and should eat dinner... -
Playing at Being an Adult III
A year since I wrote about playing at being an adult and I still don’t feel any more of an adult, and in many ways I feel even less sure of the path I’m on... -
Another Love Letter to the GSL
My alarm went off at 5am this morning, heralding the return of the still-not-especially-accurately-titled Global Starcraft 2 League, the present edition of which features a Mexican, a Canadian, and twenty-two South Koreans... -
30 Days of Leetcode: Days 6 to 10
Another five days of Leetcoding are in the books, by and large without too much difficulty... -
Virtual Pub Quizzes
Last night I took part in my first virtual pub quiz, and soon realised that I know far less than I thought I did... -
Psychosomaticity
When I get stressed, the skin on my face gets really dry, and it gets red and blotchy and kinda gross... -
Fight Club
Back in the day, I used to quite like UFC, and a few years ago I’d even stay up to ungodly Greenwich Meridian hours in order to watch the big fights... -
Infinite Jest: A Painful Hero
The more of Infinite Jest I read, and the more interviews and clips of David Foster Wallace that I listen to and watch, the more in awe I am of him... -
30 Days of Leetcode: Days 1 to 5
There’s quite a few 30-days-of-code challenges popping up this week, given that April looks set to be the first full month in which the entire world is forbidden from leaving our houses... -
Think Deeply About Simple Things
I heard the notion to “think deeply about simple things” recently in relation to maths, but it applies just as much to software, as well as life... -
Three More Things To Be Grateful For
After a rough couple of days, some more things that I’m grateful for seem like they’d be useful to segue into a more positive weekend;.. -
New Students
The whole world is looking for new indoor activities with which to amuse themselves, and it seems a lot of people are turning to chess - just take a quick look at chess... -
Three Things to be Grateful For
Inspired (as always) by Polly, today I wanted to follow her lead and share three things which I am grateful for, in a time when gratitude seems necessary to remain afloat...
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March
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Sea Mine Spotted
While out running today I set myself the challenge of getting lost, which I duly succeeded in... -
Know the Risk
One of the best pieces of advice that I have heard with regard to dealing with the current pandemic is to know the risk - to educate yourself on what, specifically, is the risk to yourself, your family and your friends... -
Pretending II
I have put off writing this post for several months now, probably since November... -
The recipe for success II
A long time ago I gave my three ingredients for success as self-awareness, patience and work ethic... -
Lockdown II
It’s been a week of working from home and leaving my flat solely to exercise, bar one trip to the supermarket on Monday which was intended to last two weeks... -
Don't Take Work Personally
I often find myself getting emotionally sucked into my work, and I think a lot of us do... -
Governmental Exercise Rationing
My run today was quite unlike any other I have ever been on... -
Lockdown
Today lockdown in Guernsey was announced and tomorrow it begins, leaving me exceptionally glad that I already froze a batch of burritos today... -
WFH Day 1
Well, day 1 was not actually a total disaster. I put jeans on at 8am, meditated for a bit and got to work... -
Thoughts Before Working From Home
Tomorrow is not the first day I have ever worked from home, however it marks the start of the first extended stretch of working from home (at least that I have had while working in software)... -
Stubborness
To be honest, I really don’t want to write a blog post today... -
Pretending
It’s pretty jarring to see someone else exhibit some kind of negative behaviour that you know you yourself are prone to, and last night I had that experience in spades... -
A Calm Soul
The other day one of my friends described me as “a calm soul”, and it was an odd moment for me, because it didn’t ring true at all, especially coming from someone who is usually unpleasantly perceptive... -
Guns Akimbo Review
After presumably having made more money than one human being could ever spend in a lifetime, Daniel Radcliffe seems to have decided that he is only going to do ridiculous, goofy, bad movies that are entertaining to him, and frankly, I think that’s great... -
Candidates Controversy
Today the FIDE Candidates Tournament plays its first round, situated in Yekaterinburg, Russia... -
Intermittent Fasting
Yesterday I mused for the millionth time upon what changes I was going to make to my diet in order to achieve the desired result, without falling pray to the notion that if I simply repeat previous efforts, something will magically be different this time... -
Underneath Review
On Friday Code Orange’s new record ‘Underneath’ dropped, their third under their present moniker and the followup to their 2017 critically-acclaimed ‘Forever’... -
Folding at Home
I’ve deliberately refrained from writing about la grippe du jour because it feels like it’s all anyone else is writing about and I am forever a contrarian, however today’s post is at least somewhat related... -
Hand Anger
Last night I was enjoying the recent uptick in player liquidity on Run It Once and was happily clicking buttons when a particular hand made me really angry... -
Nietzsche Quotes
Yesterday I was taking to a friend and referenced an aphorism which I then duly attributed to everybody’s favourite German cultural critic Friedrich Nietzsche... -
An Hour of Nothing
First off, I am attempting to write this post in nano, and if that doesn’t make me a real developer then I don’t know what does... -
You're Welcome, Ted
Imagine trying to write a blog post needling one of your friends, but then misspelling misstepped and not resizing any of your images so they all overflow their containers... -
Open-Jaw Flights
Extracting maximum value from flights seems to be something of a dark art, and there is a whole world of airmiles, alliances and error fares to try and wrap one’s head around... -
Itachi Uchiha
I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of man I want to be lately, and looking for suitable male role models in our post-feminist age... -
Food is Food for the Soul
A couple of my coworkers have started drinking Huel as part of their diet, and for a while I seriously considered joining them... -
Puppeteer
Today I finally had the chance to play around with Google’s Puppeteer, it’s nifty Node library for manipulating a Chrome browser via API, head optional... -
Sometimes Laziness Pays Off
This morning it seems like Flybe are poised to immediately cease being an airline, and with it, thousands of promises to fly someone from A to B will vanish into the ether... -
Travis CI
This week I have finally got Travis set up for this site, thanks a lot to Jacques for the idea... -
Disco Elysium
The game that I choose to accompany me on my journey through the barren internetless wasteland was ZA/UM’s isometric RPG, Disco Elysium... -
Victimhood Identity
Recently I have got to know a certain almost smart individual even better, and one of the things that they fail to be self aware about is how much of their identity is built upon the notion that they are inherently a victim... -
Life Without Wifi
Our ISP shit the bed today (again) and so we’re left without WiFi, at this point as much of a dietary staple as bread or coffee...
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February
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Diabotical
This weekend is the first closed beta testing for Diabotical, the long-awaited (i... -
Satire's Golden Age
We are living in a bizarro timeline where satire and authenticity are homogenous and indistinguishable, such that the former is wholly effortless, and I worry that satire-as-an -artform is soon to be lost to the sands of time... -
The Barkley Marathons II
Anyone who knows what The Barkley Marathons is, knows that you have to be insane to enter it... -
Ego in Chess II
Last night I had the pleasure of playing this guy in the league once more... -
Miss Anthropocene Review
After teasing the album for almost an entire year (which I think is ridiculous), Grimes finally released her long-awaited followup to 2015 art-pop behemoth Art Angels in the form of her new LP, Miss Anthropocene... -
Infinite Jest: I've Written a Novel
Last year, Josh and I had a conversation about how we’d never write a novel, because we’d want it to be our own Infinite Jest, and neither of us are any David Foster Wallace... -
The Great Game
Today I received a welcome reminder as to why PLO is lovingly dubbed “The Great Game”, and all other variants are secondary to it... -
A Peaceful Battle
A lot of people are surprsied when I tell them how long our chess league matches take - at least a couple of hours - and seemingly can’t imagine spending so much time doing so little... -
Buho
Tonight I’m going to a fancy Mexican restaurant. Only, the thing is, as someone who can now pretentiously claimed that they lived in Mexico briefly, I know there’s no such thing as an authentic fancy Mexican restaurant... -
Staff Car Parks
The parking situation at the local hospital is, frankly, a fucking nightmare... -
Violent Video Games
Once upon a time violent video games got a bad rap, and I think by and large people are pretty over it, but I actually think they can (potentially) be a powerful positive tool for catharsis and emotional regulation... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy IV: Swimming in the Sea
My GP spent a good portion of our January appointments trying to persuade me that I should join the local sea swimming group, and that it would be good for my mental health... -
Adjusting For Your Own Biases
One of the things I am wholly indebted to the poker lifestyle for is an awareness of my own biases... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy III: Bumpy Flights
Having had to brave Storm Dennis from inside his bowels at approximately 24000ft in the air, today was a jarring reminder of the deepset fear brought on by in-flight turbulence... -
Trying to Teach an Idiot Poker
For starters, “idiot” was his choice of word and not mine, I think he is plainly very intelligent... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy II: Live Music
On Christmas Eve, my friend Josh posited that one of the most worthwhile reasons not to yeet myself off this mortal coil was that it would no longer mean that I’d be able to go to gigs... -
Infinite Jest for the Wrong Reasons
Today I began my new year’s reading resolution and cracked open Infinite Jest on my kindle... -
Compassion Fatigue
I’ve been worried a lot about inflicting compassion fatigue upon those around me lately, and this article in The Correspondent, while insightful, didn’t do all that much to help... -
I also won and I will also win again
Imagine thinking that you’d be able to win a last longer bet about blogs when it takes you six commits to even successfully publish one blog post… Or six months to correctly spell your own name... -
Poker Hand Stories
After talking to Ongun and Marisa this week, and describing an emotion wholly unrelated to poker through the analogy of a poker hand (much to Marisa’s dismay), I realised quite how powerful the emotions that poker hands carry with them... -
Things That Are More Therapeutic Than Therapy: Running
During my very extensive experiences with things that aren’t more therapy, and my not-quite-as-extensive-but-still-very-respectable degree of experiences with things that are therapy, and in said experiences I have found several examples of the former to be far more effective at achieving the latter’s stated aim than the lattter itself... -
Pride
It has been an odd day, cacophanous with feelings. But above all, possibly for one of the first times ever, I am genuinely proud of myself... -
The Prisoner's Dilemma
It’s a cynical take, but the more I think about it, the more I think life is essentially the prisoner’s dilemma, but on a grand, recurring scale... -
Publishing blogs is hard
Perhaps this post should be entitled “leaving a job half done”... -
Lack of Time
Once again I’ve not found enough time to be able to write properly about what has on my mind today, which I am a little frustrated with myself about... -
Man Club
Firstly I lost the bet - oops. Fortunately Ted is a degenerate and instantly accepted to run it twice, and so now I am going to Martingale the fuck out of him... -
Polyphia
Today I booked tickets and flights to Birmingham to go see arguably the hottest prog metal band out there right now, Polyphia... -
Game Jam II
This year I am once again participating in the Global Game Jam, and after approximately 28 of our allotted 48 hours, we have already produced something leaps and bounds ahead of last year’s effort...
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January
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To speak or to listen
I have been wondering a lot recently whether it is better to speak or to listen... -
Almost Smart
I’ve had the opportunity to get to know a couple of new people fairly well recently, as well as learning and understanding my old friends more deeply, or at least trying to... -
100 Favourite Albums of All Time
I’ve been thinking a lot in the past few days about how music makes me really, really happy in a way that few other things do... -
Teamwork
This weekend is the Global Game Jam, and this year we have been infinitely more organised than last - we’ve got a full team of 6(!.. -
Correspondence Chess Tournaments
This year is my third year playing in the Chess.com annual correspondence tournament, and I believe everywhere year has surpassed the previous iteration as the largest correspondence chess tournament in history... -
Can Jonny Actually Read Challenge 2.0
In 2018 I read no books whatsoever, and so last year I set myself the lofty goal of reading 52 in 52 weeks... -
Home Games
This evening I am delighted to report that I have the opportunity to play in a home game, which may in fact be the second most +EV spot I’ve ever been in - the first is naturally this bet... -
Welcome Back to the Black Parade
Tickets for My Chemical Romance’s first show in the UK since 2011 went on sale today at 9:30am... -
Goryachkina v Ju
Today saw the 12th game of the FIDE Women’s World Championship match between Aleksandra Goryachkina and Wenjun Ju, and much like the 2018 men’s match between Carlsen and Caruana, after the classical portion of the match the score is tied at 6 points a piece... -
Lunch && Code
Today saw the reincarnation of Guernsey techie meetup Lunch && Code, sponsored by the wonderful company that employs yours truly... -
One Line Film Synopses
In my recent absence from blogging, I managed to make my way through a respectable number of films, and I thought it’d be fun to write one-line synopses for them all - these all have spoilers to some degree!.. -
Say Yes
Historically I have had a lot of trouble leaving my comfort zone, which has had a sort of self-perpetuating nature - the longer one remains in their comfort zone, the smaller it becomes... -
Belated Best Albums of 2019
I’m a little late to the party, but seeing as I have to write a blog every day again now, doing a handful of late “best ofs” seems like an easy way to churn a few out... -
The Bet is Back
Today is the 18th of January, meaning the blog-a-day last longer bet is back, and I am very excited!.. -
Everything Else Has Gone Wrong
Today English indie pop-rockers Bombay Bicycle club released their first full length studio project in 6 years, “Everything Else Has Gone Wrong”... -
I Disagree Review
Last week internet popstar and apparent religious leader Poppy released her new full length EP entitled “I Disagree”, and it certainly turned some heads... -
What do you love about life?
After another break, we’re once again back. Another last-longer is on the table, and my precious crypto is where my mouth is to prove that I can write a blog post every day until either Ted or myself expire...
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2019
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November
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Some Jumbled Reflections at 25
Twenty five is a pretty cosy number for all us base 10 users...
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October
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Book Reviews: Foundation by Isaac Asimov
52 books in 2019 is now well and truly out of reach, but I am hoping that with a mad dash effort in the last two months of the year, I might still be able to make it to 12, which would be a respectable effort in my eyes... -
Ineos 1:59 Challenge III: Inspiration
Kipchoge’s historic weekend caught the attention of more of the world than I’d anticipated - over 5 million people have watched the video of the livestream on YouTube alone, most of my coworkers watched the event - even my mum did... -
Ineos 1:59 Challenge II: Results
On Saturday, the world watched as Eliud Kipchoge landed on the moon, running a full marathon in a time of 1:59:40... -
Ineos 1:59 Challenge I: Predictions
Tomorrow is the Ineos 1:59 Challenge, where Eliud Kipchoge will attempt to be the first person to break the 2 hour marathon barrier, making history in the process and proving that, as he says, no human is limited...
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September
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The Three Catchers In The Rye
In my life so far, I have gone through three distinct interpretations of JD Salinger’s classic, The Catcher In The Rye, particularly due to being an exceptionally privileged white male... -
Size Medium
After years of buying size large shirts, I decided to optimistically get a medium off the internet, where I wouldn’t be able to try it on... -
A Slave to One's Emotions
Being a slave to one’s emotions is tedious and draining, pulled apart in all directions even during the course of a day, knowing full well what is happening but still unable to stop it... -
Sea and Cliffs
This might be a bit of a preachy one, so if you don’t like that kind of thing, kindly avert your gaze now... -
The Purpose Of The Blog
After reflecting yesterday that I wanted to be better at listening, I have been wondering whether writing this blog every day would be in contradiction of that stated aim... -
Listening
I had, until recently, considered myself to be quite a good listener, however I have had the rather painful realisation that that is in fact not the case, and I suck at it... -
Be My Eyes
Recently I’ve found myself thinking a lot that it might make me happy to help other people in some way, and that I should look into volunteering or find some other way to make a contribution... -
Conference Anxiety
I attended a conference today, one of these networking-type events that everyone is so keen on these days... -
Self Care and Self Pity
The line between self care and self pity seems worryingly thin... -
Should I Call Myself a Feminist III
I’m already not especially proud of the first two posts I wrote with this title, and that is despite them being only a little over 4 months old... -
What're You Feeling? II
I talk about myself a lot, and after all, that is the point of this blog... -
Giving It All Up And Becoming a Farmer
In the spirit of being more healthy in every possible way, I am back to fantasising about quitting my software job, renouncing technology altogether and becoming a farmer... -
Health
Having spent some time recently talking and thinking about how I frame my various goals, I think doing so through the lens of health is the way to go... -
Fragility
One of the aspects of the toxic masculine stereotype I don’t think I’ve really touched upon previously is this idea of solidity and robustness, that men must be wholly unwavering in their dedication to not showing weakness... -
The Fall Of Hobo Johnson Review
Yesterday saw the release of Californian rapper Hobo Johnson’s second full length project, building on his recent virality (and controversy) from Peach Scone ticking the Youtube algo’s boxes and racking up a cool 15 million views since last year... -
Perspective, Despair, Responsibility and Feeling Overwhelmed
Sadness feels easy these days, and in many ways I am surprised we aren’t all more miserable than we are... -
Walking The Cow
It feels fitting that I learned of Daniel Johnston’s passing while wearing my Car Seat Headrest t-shirt, given Will Toledo’s numerous references to him and clear influence thereof... -
Perspective
A balanced perspective has always seemed like a noble goal to me, something worth striving for... -
Dear Jacob
Dear Jacob, I don’t really know how to start writing this, even though I’ve already spent the better part of my day contemplating it... -
exercism.io
In the past week I’ve been trying out exercism.io, and so far I’ve been really impressed... -
Enjoying Writing
Having been writing here for quite a while now, the way I feel about the process is slowly levelling it... -
Being English When It's Convenient
One of the neat things about being from Guernsey is that I can essentially be English when, and only when, it is convenient... -
Facebook Dating
It’s official - Facebook Dating is finally here. Well, not here per se, because it’s not available outside of the countries selected for the initial rollout phase, which excludes the UK, but here as in, on-the-internet, hope-you’re-excited-for-everyone-to-complain-about-it here... -
Customer Support
I have been embroiled in a particular arduous customer support debacle with a certain company since March... -
Happy Endings
I always talk about how I don’t like happy endings in films, books, or TV shows, perhaps because it fits in with the cold, cynical character I enjoy playing, but quite naturally I still want a happy ending in any story in which I am the protagonist... -
It Isn't What It Is
One of my least favourite English phrases is “it is what it is”... -
Competition IV
I’ve been a very competitive person for as long as I can remember, and it’s frequently to my own detriment... -
Photos II
After having mused back in April that [perhaps I should reconsider my stance on pictures], today I would like to fully admit that I used to be wrong about them...
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August
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Motivation
Motivation and discipline are a funny pair. I’ve never cracked the latter, and the former comes and goes like the tides... -
Video Game CV
Video games have been a big part of my life for a long time now, and a big part of my identity also... -
Positive Juice II
Well, I got a food processor, which I guess counts as a juicer, but sadly I’ve still yet to come across the Wagamama’s recipe for positive juice... -
RSS Has Landed
Today is the first time in a long time that the blog has a new feature, one which is long overdue (but equally is probably on the verge of extinction too) - an RSS feed... -
The End of Summer
This morning I got up at 5:35am, to discover it was still dark outside... -
TI9
Yesterday saw the final of The International 9, the Dota2 World Championships, hosted for the first time in Asia, in the Mercedes-Benz Arena, Shanghai... -
Self Control
It’s now been a week of trying to go without both meat and alcohol... -
Pomegranates
What on earth is the deal with pomegranates? They’re like an alien’s brain or some shit... -
Russian Superfinals
Back in November I wrote about the World Chess Championships and mused that people were overreacting to there being so many draws, and that clamouring for format and rule changes was largely unwarranted... -
GCSE Results
Today is GCSE results day, and last night I was lucky enough to be able to help out with a MyStudentEvents livestream for students who would be opening the dreaded envelope today... -
rPi Plans
As much as I loathe the Internet of Things, raspberry pis are pretty neat, so I have dutifully ordered one of the new model 4s... -
Infest The Rats' Nest Review
Last Friday, prolific genre-defying Aussie rockers released their 15th studio album, Infest The Rats' Nest, their take on a rather old school heavy metal sound mixed with a remarkably topical and contemporary message... -
Treasured Memories
I originally only wrote this as a daily post, but upon reflection I like it too much, and it is the spiritual successor to Success which is probably my favourite post on the blog... -
Changing The Dialogue
I’ve been struggling recently with the feeling that I am getting good at talking on the blog about how I want to make changes/make a difference, but then taking no action in order to enact said change... -
Alcohol IV
When I have finished the (admittedly rather large) glass of wine on my desk, I will have drunk my supply of alcohol at home clean, and subsequently plan on giving up alcohol for the foreseeable future, although unlikely forever... -
Book Reviews We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
In a bid to not wait 6 months in between actually finishing books, I decided to read something a lot shorter and less Russian, and was forced recommended to read We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichi... -
Seeing Yourself II
I feel a similar urge to Polly to disregard other’s opinions of myself - as acknowledged, it is widely touted as ‘good advice’, and it’s even something I’ve written about before, for example when reviewing Models or talking about painting my nails... -
Seeing Yourself
In a first for the blog, today we have a guest writer... -
I love you iii
It’s nice to be right about things, and back in May I was indeed right about how I would feel this week... -
Beware of Dog IV
I saw the dog again today, for the first time since January... -
Things I Wish I Knew When I Was Younger
This post is in part written for my younger brother, and in part for my younger self... -
How Many Sheep Crossed The Bridge?
After dinner this evening, we played a game involving two fields, a bridge, several sheep and a lot of clapping... -
Super Meat Boy
Edmund McMillen’s 2010 indie platformer gem “Super Meat Boy” is almost certainly my favourite indie title ever, at the very least it is the one that I have sunk the most hours into... -
Social Media FOMO
This week, a certain amount of social media FOMO has crept back in to my life... -
Knights In Shining Armour
This is my second attempt at writing a blog post today... -
Build All The Things IV
I’m super lazy about checking whether or not these posts actually get published successfully, I essentially run git push and then go do something else with my life... -
Candid Photos
This is probably gonna sound super pretentious, but w/e… contrived, posed photos annoy me far more than I know they should... -
Cloudflare vs 8chan
This morning, Cloudflare announced that they would no longer be providing their services to the ‘free speech’-centric message board 8chan, a move that will fairly inevitably lead to it being DDoSed and booted off the internet for some short amount of time... -
The 106th British Chess Championships
This week the 106th edition of the British Chess Championships took place in Torquay, incidentally in the same venue in which I competed in the U14 section many years ago... -
The Slightly More Planned Year (So Far)
Well, it’s been a very long time since I wrote anything in this blog, and I think an update long overdue at this point... -
Radical Honesty II
Radical Honesty has been both on my mind and my lips a lot recently... -
50 Ways To Show Someone You Love Them Without Having Sex
I’ve never spoken especially highly of the sex education I received at school, as frankly I feel like it left me wholly unprepared for the complex, emotional realities of sex itself... -
What're You Feeling?
Every so often when I’m chatting to slvrsluger, he’ll ask me what I’ve been thinking about recently...
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July
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The Hedonic Treadmill III
Yet more thoughts on the HedTread, as I’ve decided I’m going to start calling it….. -
The Hedonic Treadmill II
I’ve been doing some more worrying about the hedonic treadmill recently, but I think I am slowly getting my head round it... -
Climbing Progress
At the expense of being preachy about my new active lifestyle as someone who both goes running and climbing, today I wanted to briefly mention how great the latter is... -
Book Reviews The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov
Well, the whole 52 books in 52 weeks thing is looking admittedly unlikely to pan out, but I have nonetheless made some progress by finally finishing ‘The Master and Margarita’ by Mikhail Bulgakov... -
iNcontroL
Geoff Robinson, better known by his screenname, ‘iNcontroL’ passed away on July 20th... -
The Honesty Problem II: The Honesty Solution
It appears the break is over - in fact it lasted a lot less time than I’d anticipated...
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June
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Taking a Break
I’ve decided to take a break from writing here daily, for a whole bunch of reasons, the main one being that I don’t have much time on most weekdays to do so and don’t feel that I have been writing anything especially interesting here for a few weeks... -
Hay Fever
Just a short one today, because I am dying. Hay fever absolutely sucks, and as hard as I am trying to will it away, it does not appear to be working... -
The Hedonic Treadmill
I worry a little about the hedonic treadmill. Things have been going great recently, but what if my baseline happiness is actually far lower than I am at currently, and a decline in my wellbeing is inevitable?.. -
The Sri Chinmoy Self Transcendence Race
The Sri Chinmoy Self Transcendence Race is probably the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of, and so naturally also one of the greatest... -
So This is What It's Come To
Apparently, this is now the way that we’re fighting aggressive ad tracking practices... -
Summer League
The Guernsey Chess Club’s summer league has officially started, and has made me realise quite how much fun the game can be... -
Emptying Your Amazon Basket, Forever
Yesterday, I went to amazon.co.uk to buy a hat - more specifically, one to go running with... -
Schlagenheim
The UK underground’s worst kept secret, and my personal favourite post/noise/math/experimental rock band Black Midi have finally released their debut album Schlagenheim... -
Dark, The Swarm
In the midst of some of the most aggressive protoss balance whine I’ve ever witnessed, four long years since a zerg player has been crowned the king of GSL - and even longer since a now non-disgraced zerg was coronated - Dark finally did it... -
Will Hurd the Black Hat
Today, Black Hat Conference announced that they’d canned Congressman Will Hurd as keynote after backlash from attendees... -
The UK wants to block porn, but they can't get it up
The UK government’s controversial attempt to impose an age block on pornographic content drags on, with the news coming today that they had not adequately notified the EU of the planned changes, which would cause a delay of a minimum of 6 months... -
Todoist
I have documented various flippings and floppings centred around to-do lists many times previously, but over the past month or so I’ve had a fair amount of success with the Todoist app, so much so that I would tentatively recommend it... -
The Joy Of Spinning Up New Machines
Today I had the pleasure of taking a fresh Win10 install and transforming it into a usable development environment - furthermore, my own development environment... -
Adam Ondra
After a brief hiatus from watching Adam Ondra videos, the YouTube algorithm has finally put me back in my place and reminded me that I should be watching more Adam Ondra videos... -
Half marathon in the books III
After signing up on Monday, today was the day, and I lined up at L’Eree with over 800 other people to run the 13... -
Nerves II
I’ve probably already written about this before, but many years ago I heard the following from a top British fencing coach:.. -
Oculus Revisited
After 3 months of arduous back and forth with Oculus support (the result of which means I am never going to recommend their products to anyone, ever), my replacement controller has finally arrived... -
Commit Yourself Completely
In exciting news, Car Seat Headrest announced a new live album is coming on Monday... -
Political Enemies
While following the Tory leadership contest in the news in the past few days, I can’t help but notice how almost without exception, each candidate has made a point of emphasizing that they will be the leader capable of keeping Jeremy Corbyn out of 10 Downing Street... -
Natural, Everyday Degradation
Today I finally got round to listening to the new Remo Drive record, ‘Natural, Everyday Degradation’... -
Half marathon in the books II
Yesterday I lied, albeit accidentally - is it still lying if you belive it to be true at the time?.. -
Half marathon in the books
This morning I set out on a long run with a fairly ambitious route planned, and despite not quite making it the whole way (more on that later), I did still manage to make it 21km, my longest run to date and the length of a half marathon, give or take 100m or so... -
Hack The Box
Yesterday I managed to hack the first box, that being the invite code for Hack The Box... -
Baldur's Gate III
Yesterday, Larian Studios announced Baldur’s Gate III, 19 years after BGII was originally released... -
Catching Myself Being Happy
One of the huge upsides to being very depressed for a very long time is that when I’m not, it’s a constant and pleasant surprise... -
Day[9] Daily 100
After mentioning to a couple of people recently that Day9’s Daily #100 changed my life when I first watched it at university, it seems appropriate to write about it here too... -
Altibox Norway Chess
Today is the first day of the classical portion of the Altibox Norway Chess tournament in Stavanger, and could be the beginning of a historical ten days... -
Time Poor
Once again I find myself time poor, unable to complete everything on my to do list and also to spend much time relaxing (read: playing Rocket League)... -
Sharing Your Goals
I am (in my own mind) notorious for not following through - my execution sucks... -
Ongun Theory
We’re hosting this evening, and so this afternoon I took it upon myself to try to make our apartment look presentable (by which I mean the bits of it that are ‘mine’ - Sam keeps his room and the communal areas immaculate)...
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May
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Yet More Expectations
Tomorrow is Saturday, which means I’ll be having another stab at the Park Run... -
Falling In Love With Where I Live II
I have been a stereotypical nerd my whole life, an indoorsman, possessing all the lamest of vampiric qualities without any of the sexy ones... -
When it's easy, it's easy II
Four and a half months later, and I’ve not yet sunk back into the abyssal clutch of depression... -
slvrsluger Wisdom
Occasionally during my catchups with slvrsluger, in between him regailing me with stories of aquariums, free office cookies and even freer money, he accidentally brings forth a shimmering pearl of pure wisdom... -
Some Overdue Updates
This site has finally undergone some minor, but much-needed cosmetic surgery... -
Oatmeal and the Blerch
As part of my newfound enthusiasm for running, this weekend I’ve tried to find which corners of the internet runners tend to frequent, so I can properly integrate myself into their society... -
Park Run
Today I ran my first Park Run something which even 6 weeks ago I didn’t think I’d be remotely close to being able to achieve... -
Ding Dong The Witch is Dead
This is, I believe, my first blog on the subject of politics, a subject that I have by and large deliberately avoided writing about... -
Feeling Overwhelmed
Whenever I have tried to articulate how I feel during a period of mental struggle in the past, I have often said that I am overwhelmed... -
Adventures in Online Dating II
There’s been both good and bad developments since my last update on the whole Tinder malarkey, but first….. -
Smalltalk Revisited
Today I had, by far, the most in depth conversation I’ve ever had with someone while they were cutting my hair - and yes, that includes my mother... -
Windows Terminal
Windows Terminal is on the way and I am very excited for it, because that means there will finally be a CLI I can use on Windows which has tabs… seriously, how did it take so long?.. -
The Barkley Marathons
The Netflix documentary about The Barkley Marathons is subtitled ‘The Race That Eats Its Children’, and after watching it, I entirely understand that choice... -
WCS Spring
I had a lot of productive things on my todo list this week, including a lot of work on this website and the Guernsey chess site as well, but then today I woke up, checked reddit, and saw this beautiful game at the top of r/starcraft and realised that I was not in fact going to get anything done today whatsoever... -
An Ode to the Love Shack
If you see a faded sign at the end of the road that says “15 miles to the Love Shack” Love Shack, yeah, yeah".. -
The Four Burners
The four burners theory is a neat summarisation of something I have been feeling a lot recently... -
The Joy of Starting Over
Starting from an entirely new tech stack this week has been challenging for reasons both numerous and obvious, but thusfar I am relishing the opportunity... -
Fake It Until You Make It
We’ve all heard the phrase ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, and I hope we have all regarded it with at least some modicum of suspicion... -
First Day of a New Era
As one epoch comes to an end, so must a new one begin, which is precisely the case for my career as I began a new job today... -
Terry A Davis
This afternoon I watched this intriguing documentary on TempleOS and its creator, Terry A Davis... -
Chess Inter Insular
Today was the 82nd installation of the Channel Islands Inter-Insular; the annual chess match between Guernsey and Jersey, in recent years played across 16 boards... -
The End of a Short Era
Today was my last day as a web dev for the small company that I’ve worked for over the past year and a bit... -
Being Called Out
Being called out, especially when you immediately realise you are wrong, is an especially unpleasant feeling... -
Running IV
After covering 17km in 3 days, surely a massive personal best for me, my body hurts... -
Should I Call Myself a Feminist II
Yesterday I may have inadvertently outed myself as a bit of a basement dweller... -
Should I Call Myself a Feminist
The Oxford English Dictionary defines femini- just kidding, fuck that... -
Running III
I’m a runner now. I bought some shoes, I downloaded Strava and smashed out a 5k training run - my first ever 5k not on a treadmill... -
Guernsey Literary Festival: Lionel Shriver
In my second visit to a Guernsey Literary Festival event this week, I had the pleasure of watching Lionel Shriver in conversation with Libby Purves... -
I love you II
Two years after Mica posted this, and while the title certainly hasn’t stood the test of time, I think I recently came to feel differently about what she wrote... -
Guernsey Literary Festival: Adam Kay
Today I had the pleasure of going to watch Adam Kay talk as part of the 7th edition of the Guernsey Literary Festival... -
Another One Bites The Dust
So long, auf Wiedersehen, and goodnight to Snapchat, by some definitions the vestigial social media app on my iPhone...
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April
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Playing at Being an Adult II
After some thinking and a couple of interesting conversations following my first post on playing at being an adult, I am quite seriously reconsidering my position... -
Expectations Revisited
I am a big believe in the idea that one’s happiness is the difference between one’s expectations and one’s reality... -
Bands To See Before I Die
Having decided that I have nothing better to spend my money on than travelling to see gigs, I’ve finally got around to compiling a list of bands I want to see before I die (or before they do)... -
The Point of the Blog
I’ve always stated that this blog is a purely selfish endeavour, that it is intended to provide me catharsis and clarity of thought, and serves no further purpose... -
Failure II
First, a quick aside - the first time I wrote a blog post entitled failure, the result was pitiful and hilarious... -
I'm having a baby!
By which I mean, I’m inheriting a website and I’m pretty excited... -
On The Subject of Emasculating Oneself
Yesterday I talked about a fragile and likely naive spark of hope with regards to the immediate future of my dating life, so today it only seems fair to reflect on the barren wasteland from which that flame may hopefully grow... -
Adventures in Online Dating
While in New York, I was persuaded to give Tinder another try, by which I mean I handed over my phone and got to play on my travelling companion’s in return while she set up my profile and employed an exceptionally liberal right-swipe policy... -
Advice II
I’ve already talks about how dumb and arrogant unsolicited advice is, but today I am wondering exactly where the line should be... -
Just Enjoy It, You Fucking Idiot
Not to brag, but things are going great for me right now... -
Pete Davidson
If I had to pick a hero, I think Pete Davidson might well be the one... -
Falling in Love With Where I Live
Upon my return to Guernsey, I was struck by an awful realisation - I actually don’t really hate it here anymore... -
Aeroplane Film Reviews
As I am currently stuck in Gatwick Airport unable to even check in for another three hours, I thought it would be a good time to review some of the films that I watched on the plane to and from the Big Apple... -
The Long Road Home
I’m about to begin the 6000km journey home, and I won’t get there for 30 or so hours... -
The Adventure is Almost Over
Today is our last full day in New York, as we’ll be boarding the plane back to London evening... -
Big City Life
After having spent 5 days in the Big Apple (although in some ways it feels a lot longer), I feel like I can make something of a judgment about what it would be like to live here versus my current tiny island home... -
Friends' Happiness
Firstly, a disclaimer: this is without doubt the most intoxicated I have been while attempting to write one of these posts... -
Desert Island Discs
Desert Island Discs was recently voted the greatest radio show of all time, and so to celebrate I thought I would post my own choices, despite the fact that almost certainly nobody cares... -
Playing at Being an Adult
To borrow a phrase from my travelling companion, this week has very much felt like I am playing at being an adult... -
The New York Knicks
Last night we saw the Knicks get battered by the Pistons at Madison Square Garden, in what I thought was going to be a 40 point game for most of the night... -
Photos
I never really take photos of anything. My rationale for this is that I am worried that it will detract from my presence in the moment, and that I won’t appreciate what I am actually experiencing - instead I will be focused too hard on getting the perfect snap... -
Climbing
Yesterday I went to a climbing gym for the first time and I cannot recommend it highly enough... -
Thoughts and Words
Unless you’re that weird Radical Honesty dude, then there is a significant gap between the thoughts and feelings you experience and the words you use to communicate them to the world around you... -
Land of the Free
I've now spent roughly one whole day in the land of the free (not as in beer)... -
Yet Another Post About Losing Weight
I am going to get to under 83kg if it is the last thing I do... -
The Adventure Begins
Today a new adventure begins, and I couldn't be more excited... -
Book Glut
Today I lost all self control and bought far, far too many books... -
October 3, 2011 III
I suppose now it's my turn. I've been in my new place about two months now, and living with one of my best friends has been amazing... -
October 3, 2011 II
Dear Ted, When I posted the oldest blog I could find of yours for April Fool's Day, I was of course trying to wind you up a little, although I hope you don't think that I was mocking you or the post, because actually I love it... -
October 3, 2011
I want to write down my thoughts somewhere where I wont be able to loose them or throw them away...
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March
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Celeste
I finally got round to playing (and beating) Celeste after having not given it the attention that it deserves for roughly a year... -
Advice
Upon reflection, giving advice is a pretty interesting thing that we humans do, or at least the way we approach it is... -
We Did It
I'm acutely aware of the fact that whenever I get my hopes up about something, the potential for disappointment increases exponentially... -
Just Checking In
While deep down a Hacker News rabbit hole this week, I discovered this Medium post (sorry to send you to everyone's least favourite blogging platform, but it can't be helped)... -
GSL RO8
Today is the first day of the GSL RO8 in 2019 and I am very excited... -
Nerves
A long time ago, a fencing coach (who incidentally went on to coach the GB team) told me that ".. -
Resting
One of the most undervalued components of improving one's mental health, is simply not trying to improve one's mental health... -
The Dawn Wall
This morning I watched The Dawn Wall, the story of Tommy Caldwell and Kevin Jorgesen becoming the first people to free climb 'The Dawn Wall' route of El Capitan in Yosemite... -
After Life Review
Today I watched the entirety of Ricky Gervais' new Netflix show, After Life, which follows the story of Tony, played by Gervais, struggling to find purpose in his life after the death of his wife... -
Carolina Reapers
I've managed to get into a pretty good habit of meal prepping since having moved into the new flat, and last weekend I boldly made the choice to make a chili with the carolina reaper powder one of my colleagues gave me during the summer... -
The October Update
Today I finally installed queued Windows updates - for the first time since October... -
Retirement as a Career Goal
This evening I had an interesting conversation with my housemate about what age I would ideally like to retire... -
Evolution vs Design in Software
I am finally nearing delivery of my largest project to date at my day job, so it seems appropriate to share some of what I learned during its course... -
Balancing the Coin III
Today marks the third consecutive day on which I have gone to the gym, possibly for the first time in 2019... -
Back in the Saddle
Today saw the first couple of hundred of hands of PLO for me in 2019, and honestly, they were actually kind of fun... -
ContraPoints
Today I stumbled across the Youtuber ContraPoints, who makes videos 'mostly discussing social justice issues and adjacent topics'... -
Friday Nights In
I'm getting old. Like, upsettingly old. Once upon a time I would've considered the idea of a quiet Friday night in heretical, and decried the notion that I might spend one such evening that way as blasphemeous and a grave personal insult... -
NYC todo
Having finally got my act together enough to book accomodation for my trip to New York next month, I am fully back aboard the excitement express... -
Black Country, New Road
Continuing my theme of weird but amazing music recommendations, today's is Black Country, New Road of whom the only adjectives I can think of to describe are ".. -
30 Years of the Web
Today is the thirtieth birthday of the world wide web, the very technology behind how you are reading this right now... -
The Jesse Lacey Problem II
Nearly a year ago, I wrote about my decision to stop listening to the music of Jesse Lacey and his band Brand New, as a result of the accusations of sexual misconduct against him and his seeming admission-by-omission... -
Self Love
I struggle to love myself. By which I mean that I don't love myself - the struggles involved had yet to bear any fruit... -
Moving on from the bonsai
So, at this point, the bonsai tree I bought is pretty dead, which speaks volumes about me... -
Python Koans
Continuing on my journey to learn Python, this weekend I am going to try to smash through as many of these wonderful Python Koans as possible... -
Trapped
One of the strangest and most distressing characteristics of modern Western society (and likely other societies that I am not so familiar with) is its ability to ensure its participants feel psychologically trapped by some cycle therein... -
Knockoff Proleague
Proleague is back! Well, kind of. Naturally I wish it was still an offline event in Seoul, but the new Chinese team league is exciting nonetheless, and even if the quality won't be quite as high as Proleague at its peak, there are still plenty of players I am excited to watch, and the format is solid... -
Chess is about disagreeing with people
One of the things that my old chess coach said to me that really stuck was that 'chess is about disagreeing with people'... -
Industry Gurus
As part of a marketing thingy at work, our whole team got asked for some examples of people we look up to in the indsutry/regard as 'gurus' in their chosen field... -
soO
Today was the final day of the IEM Katowice Starcraft tournament, and it was an emotional one at that - soO, after coming 2nd in six GSL finals and a Blizzcon, finally overcame himself and emerged victorious by winning the IEM World Championship, After demonstrating that he was his own greatest opponent so many times, he proved himself a true champion by beating back his own mental demons and achieving his dream... -
Free Solo
I first discovered Alex Honnold while I was in university, putting off writing a paper that was due the next day... -
Paintings
My roommate and I just order artwork to go on the walls of our apartment...
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February
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Embracing Suffering
It is common advice in therapy, self-help manuals, and Buddhist teachings to embrace one's suffering, to lean it into, to try to enjoy it, if such a paradoxical notion is possible... -
Disruption
Have you noticed that disruption is the new conformity in the tech world?.. -
Chess is kinda like boxing
Recently I came to understand something pretty important about chess (or at least, how to win at chess) - that it is a fight... -
Meditating for the wrong reasons
Today I finally started meditating again, after not having done so for months (or maybe even years at this point)... -
Shanghai Dragons
Last night the Shanghai Dragons beat Boston Uprising 3-1 in the first stage of the Overwatch League's 2019 season - the fifth stage that they have played in, as they have been a part of the league since its inception... -
Build All The Things III
I finally got around to doing some more Python today, and I decided to take a break from the data analysis side of things to try to do some scripting... -
Righting Old Wrongs
Today I apologised for something I did a long time ago, that I have felt guilty about ever since... -
RE: An Honest Living
This week I read an excellent post by Steve Salaita, in which he describes his journey from white collar to blue... -
Chess Club
Amidst the drudgery of the working week, chess club on a Tuesday night has provided a solaceful oasis recently... -
The Grass is Greener
The phrase 'the grass is always greener [on the other side]' fills me with an incandescent rage when I am its intended recipient (and indeed a rather more tepid peturbation in any other context)... -
Good Mood
Today, this afternoon in particular, I have been in a pretty good mood - this is of grave concern... -
Bonsai
Last week I bought a bonsai tree, naïvely assuming they would be as easy to care for as cacti... -
What We Want
I started watching Mad Men this weekend, and I've already made a pretty significant dent in the first season... -
Hope
Once again far, far too exhausted to write anything lengthy or thought out tonight... -
Valentine's Day
Today is Valentine's Day and traditionally that means I make some kind of miserly comments on the internet... -
God's Children
Today I met Elder Chung and Elder Howard, two members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints... -
GSL 2019 II
Have I really only written about the GSL twice?! I'm exhausted, today I worked 11 hours and then had a 3 hour chess game afterwards... -
On the Nature of Problem Solving
In my experience, development is roughly 20% planning your code, 5% writing your code, and 75% figuring out why the fuck your code doesn't work... -
New Ubuntu Installation
In exciting news, this weekend I managed to fix my previously documented dual boot OS installation issues... -
black midi
Today I finally listened to elusive UK post hardcore/noise rock wunderkinds black midi (not to be confused with the post-modern genre of electronica)... -
I'm bad at breathing
Any time I have to focus on my breath I become acutely aware of how just how poor my ability to breathe is... -
Reflecting On: A Deleted Blog
There is only one post I have ever deleted from any of my blogs (that I can remember at least)... -
The Dual Pains of Injury
Yesterday, I hurt my back while squatting in the gym... -
GSL 2019
In the recent various excitements (and as a result of having no broadband in our home), I completely missed the start of GSL Code S on Saturday... -
Lessons From Meal Prep
Yesterday I set out with the plan of making 9 meals worth of nutritious, delicious food which I could then enjoy throughout the week without having to cook again (I ritualistically eat lunch out on Fridays)... -
I Have Too Much Stuff
In the process of moving this week, I became cutely aware of how many boxes of largely superfluous possessions I had to painstakingly lug up and down multiple flights of stairs... -
Satisficing
Today I learned a new word, courtesy of apenwarr, and that word is satisficing... -
New Face
Today I shaved my face down to the skin for the first time in around 4 years...
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January
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New Site
This week I have started working on a new version of this site, one that will be quite different from this one... -
The End of the Beginning
Today, at my own request, I was discharged from therapy... -
Moving Day
Today I am moving into a new flat, and it is the 4th time that I have moved out of my parents' with the intention of not returning... -
OS Installation Issues
I'm moving out tomorrow, and in preparation for doing so, I'm attempting to overwrite my Kali install with an Ubuntu one on my desktop... -
Game Jam
This weekend I participated in the Guernsey edition of Global Game Jam, an event where participating teams have just 48 hours to create a game from scratch, based on a prompt given at the start of the event... -
No More Zero Days
Continuing this week's theme of shitty life advice, today's is something I saw on Reddit a while back, which says it all really... -
Nobody Talks About the Dentist
Have you ever noticed how nobody talks about the dentist?.. -
Balancing the Coin II
In terms of my never-ending quest to stave off chronic melancholy, this year has thusfar been a step in the right direction... -
Don't Go For Lunch
Having had a couple of weeks to ingest Mark Manson's advice in Models, I can say that the piece of advice which I have benefitted the most from is this: Don't go for lunch... -
Parallel Universes
Last night I was driving along the coast road, taking the scenic route back from the gym and blaring some Title Fight when I was reminded of a girl I used to hang out with in school... -
Non Linear Perception of Time
An odd one today, as I don't have much time to think any serious thoughts... -
Book Reviews: Notes from Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky
I've been wanting to start reading Russian literature for many years, largely for pretentious and narcissistic reasons... -
Trial and Error
Intuitively, one might feel that the biggest problem with generalised or social anxiety is that it prevents an individual from succeeding - however I would disagree... -
Sex Education Review
I just got done watching the new Netflix show 'Sex Education', so here is what I thought of it... -
High Standards
Ever since I was a kid, I've wanted to write a book... -
Mom Jeans
Last night I got to see Just Friends and Mom Jeans life, and both were incredible... -
5am
I am writing this at 5:15am, and have to leave in 30 minutes to catch a flight, so it is going to be quick... -
People Are My Religion
People are my religion. Well, they are now at least... -
Book Reviews: Models by Mark Manson
Thirteen days into the year and I have already read more books in 2019 than I did in 2018... -
In the Aeroplane Over The Sea
In the Aeroplane Over the Sea was the second and last album by the mysterious and oddly-named Neutral Milk Hotel, released in 1998 to little commercial success initially... -
Yudkowsky Ambititon Scale
While trawling through various 'best of Hacker News' articles, I learned of the Yudkowsky Ambition Scale... -
In Defence of Popular Music
In a recent post I talked about my pathological contrarianism and my need to dislike things people like to fuel some narcisstic superiority complex... -
When it's easy, it's easy
For the last 10 days I've been far less depressed than usual... -
Repeated Mistakes
Yesterday was my first session back in the gym after two weeks off, due to the holiday season and being ill... -
Movie Reviews IV
Movie reviews are back! I watched a few films over the holiday period, so here they are... -
Trip Planning
Today I spent far too much money on plane tickets, but I am very excited - this is my first Big Adult Holiday™... -
YouTube
I absolutely love to hate popular things. Tropical house, Regina George and pumpkin spiced lattes can all suck my dick... -
Gell-Mann Amnesia
I've been thinking about Gell-Mann Amnesia a lot recently. It doesn't really have any legitimacy as a psychological idea - in fact, as far as I can tell, it is little more than an offhand anecdote made by Michael Crichton - but it's interesting nonetheless... -
Sickness
Today, I am very sick. After all the excitement of yesterday, it is a little disappointing... -
Beware of Dog III
2019 is off to a flying start, I think I am happier today than any day I was in 2018... -
New Year's Resolutions
I'm sure I have decried the concept of New Year's Resolutions in the past, but now I am older and supposedly wiser, I think they're actually pretty great...
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2018
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December
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The Language of Sadness
Today I read this article, which talks about depression changing the language people use in speech and writing... -
The Unplanned Year
It’s fair to say that looking back at 2018, it was a radical departure from the plan... -
Beware of Dog II
There is a dog I have heard barking for the past couple of years... -
Lynx Titan
I am 100% sure I've written about Lynx Titan before, but I can't find where... -
The Honesty Problem
In only the third post on this blog, I wrote about Radical Honesty... -
Social Prescription
When perusing Hacker News today I came across this article, describing how British GPs are going to begin making 'social prescriptions', such as visiting museums or taking dance or singing lessons... -
The State of the Blog II
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about whether or not I still wanted this blog to be purely 'for me' or if I wanted to try to share more... -
Reflecting On: Ramblings I
I think Ramblings I is probably my favourite post from Mendokusai... -
Booking Flights
A year ago today, on the brink of a spectular mental breakdown, I booked a (very expensive) transatlantic flight for the next day, and spent 10 hours on Christmas tipsy and sleep deprived 35000ft above the big blue ocean... -
Reading List
I'd like to read more. I've been thinking about doing one of those stupid 'read x books in y time intervals', maybe a book a week for the whole year... -
The Value of Conversation
If there's one thing that Chicago Joey taught me, it's how to talk to women that you should never fold to 3bets in PLO the value of conversation... -
Idle Words
Just a quick one today as I am off out momentarily to drown a year's worth of sorrows... -
Date Jonny
I had a pretty funny conversation with one of my colleagues today... -
The State of the Blog
When I initially began writing on the internet a little over two years ago, I thought I was quite a good writer... -
Cards are fucking stupid
It's Christmas time. Today I had to buy Christmas cards, and it reminded me that cards are fucking stupid... -
The Importance of Ignoring Good Advice
People give me advice with the best of intentions. They want to save me time, money, or mental anguish (and in the process likely save themselves the same)... -
Calorie Counting
I refuse to make another post about why I want to lose weight, how hard I am finding it etc... -
s1mple
In keeping with my recent theme of writing homages to semi-famous people, today is the turn of Oleksandr 's1mple' Kostyliev, the 21 year old Ukrainian Counterstrike phenom... -
Crywank
I've known about Mancunian 'anti-folk' band Crywank for a while now... -
Christmas
I would not usually consider myself 'Christmassy'. I try to avoid being a complete Scrooge, but I have found it hard to get on board with Christmas for my adult life - probably because I obnoxiously love to hate anything popular... -
David Goggins II
When I first wrote about David Goggins last week, I did not expect to be writing another post about him... -
Aaron Swartz
Today I finally got around to reading some of Aaron Swartz's blog... -
I miss painting my nails
I am pretty sure I have already written a post to this exact effect but whatever, it is what has been on my mind today and so I want to write about it (again)... -
ASMR
Over the last couple of months I have discovered the wondrousness of ASMR - more specifically, watching and listening to videos which are designed to promote Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response... -
Schedule
Having a strict schedule, where I get up and go to bed at the same time very day, and can plan my time around my routines, has helped me a lot recently... -
Top Ten Albums of 2018
Nobody asked for it, so here it is - my top 10 albums of 2018... -
Spotify 2018
Today I saw my 'Your Top Songs 2018' playlist in my Discover for the first time, which (I assume) is a curation of the 100 songs I have listened to most this year... -
Build All The Things II
First small Python programme written! It is pretty easy to output just 'hello world', so I did it three different ways... -
Build All The Things
I want to learn Python. I am bored of putting it off and saying to myself that I will learn it at some unspecified point in the future... -
David Goggins
This weekend I decided I should try and catch up on some JRE episodes, and I wound up watching this one, with David Goggins... -
Upgrade and Compromise
As I'm sure you have noticed, today the site has an exciting new feature - colour!.. -
Too Fast
Today has gone by too fast... I had so much I wanted to do...
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November
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Obligations
On this week's episode of 'things my therapist says...', we have the word 'should'... -
Exhaustion
Yikes, I am so exhausted. Between the new (intense) gym programme, work being as busy as ever, a couple of side projects, trying to maintain a social life, decent sleep schedule AND not lose my mind... -
Flirting
Flirting is hard, especially when your anxiety-to-social-skills ratio is as off-kilter as mine... -
Intelligent New Programme
This week I have finally started a proper powerlifting programme, rather than totally winging it when I work out... -
Joy as an act of resistance
Twice this year, I have listened to an album for the first time, and the message it contained was exactly what I needed to hear in the moment... -
Everyone is totally winging it
I absolutely do not have my shit together. Every day is a constant struggle to stave off the impending threat of an existential meltdown... -
Whining
Somedays, you just need to have a good whine, and today is one of those days... -
I'm a convincing actor
Today I talked a little to one of my remote coworkers about my mental health issues... -
World Chess Championships
After the first 10 games of the Open World Chess Championships, it's 5 points all, with every game having been a draw... -
Missing Social Media
A couple of months ago I ditched the Twitter account I used under a screenname, and purged the app from my phone... -
Too Busy
I'm far too busy - too busy to think of a meaningful topic for today's blog... -
The Church of Iron
The gym is infinitely more therapeutic than this 'talking about my feelings' bullshit... -
Surviving Mars
Today was the first time in a long time that I decided I was going to play video games all day and not feel guilty about it... -
Happiness
(Have I ever had a blog post titled happiness before?.. -
RE: Strong Opinions
Dear Ted, When I think about your blog, there are only two posts that spring to mind... -
Watching the World Burn
Until very recently, I have tried my utmost to avoid politics, but since 2016, it's been impossible to do so... -
Feel the Pain | Be the Cowboy
Feel the Pain My therapist said something at lunchtime today that I have not been able to stop thinking about since... -
Ego in Chess
I've always been a very competitive person, and accordingly I love winning while loathing losing... -
And now, we return to our regularly schedule programming
For the last few days, I think I've done a pretty good job of writing upbeat, fairly stable and well thought-out blog posts... -
Positive Juice
I am typing this from the Wagamama in Gatwick Airport Departures... -
Reflecting On: an iPhone noted dated 19th November 2017
While I originally started writing this series (it feels so arrogant to call a group of these thematically linked posts a series) with the idea of looking at old blog posts I've written, there are a lot of other things from my past I think may be worth reflecting on as well... -
Belonging
First of all, yesterday I saw Car Seat Headrest and they were amazing... -
Reflecting On: Success
Success was, ironically, pretty comfortably the most successful post on my old Wordpress site, in terms of page views... -
Red and Blue
It is pretty bizarre to me how big a part of news media aimed at me consists of US politics... -
Plant Based Diet
Following on from my post on Oct 26th, I am planning on going a step further than cutting out red meat, and am going to at least try a fully plant-based, vegan diet... -
Just like cooking
I caught up with a poker friend that I had not spoken to in a very long time over the weekend... -
Serral
Last night, Joona "Serral" Sotala made esports history. He was the first non-Korean player to reach the world championship final in the 20 years the game has had one - but not only that, the Finnish Zerg won, becoming the first world champion not to carry the Korean flag... -
I expect myself to have more than 24 hours in a day
For a few years now, I have been a fan of the idea that your happiness is your reality minus your expectations... -
Money Makes Me Sad
In another post I mentioned 80000 hours, and today I read the third chapter in their career guide, ".. -
Reflecting On: Gambling and Catharsis
When I first started this blog, it was solely to win a bet...
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October
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OGLAF
I often worry I am too open on this blog... -
Julien Baker
In my recent quest for sad songs, I have rediscovered Julien Baker, affectionately known to her fans as the Sad Queen... -
Attrition 2
They say, 'the feeling will come to pass' - it is allegedly comforting... -
Attrition
People talk a lot these days about dealing with depression, anxiety, and other mental health problems in a very micro sense... -
An open letter to all my friends, ever
Recently my therapist pointed out to me that part of the reason I struggle with relationships might be because of a sense of shame, and I think she was absolutely right... -
Baby You're A Haunted House
Today Gerard Way released a new song titled Baby You're A Haunted House, his first release in two years, with pretty much no warning... -
Lifestyle Changes
I am determined to stop drinking and switch to some kind of plant-based diet... -
Old Photos
My parents always used to take a lot of pictures on family holidays, which we went on quite regularly when I was younger... -
DEFCON II
I have been grinding a bunch more DEFCON talks the past few days... -
Steps, Forward and Back
Some days I feel like I am making progress, and other days everything feels overwhelming, and I am back at square one... -
Productivity Hack
Having already brought you one high quality productivity hack this week, I am proud to announce that I have another awesome time-saver up my sleeve, ready to share with you all, like the benevolent god I am... -
CS50 Progress: Week One
I'm pleased to report that I just submitted a short programme in C for encrypting a string using the Vigenère cipher, and in so doing I have completed week one of CS50x... -
Experiences with Jekyll
Having (finally) got round to rebuilding this site, I thought it would be nice to talk a little bit about the process of doing so, from learning Jekyll, to design, to development and deployment... -
Want to-do list
Productivity "hacks" SUCK. It is not news, that you already know how to be productive... -
DEFCON
My out of office is on for the next week... -
Things that give me hope
Today I started a new Trello list, one that I'm excited about... -
Open Source Baby Steps
Today I am happy to announce I made my first open source contribution!.. -
Chess Players
Chess players are infuriating. Trying to organise them is like trying to herd cats... -
Late Nights
Sleep is undoubtedly one of the most +EV things in life, and one which we all seem to wilfully disregard far too often... -
CS50
Today I enrolled in Harvard's CS50x, the online version of its Introduction to Computer Science module... -
Egos at the Door
Today was another perfect example of why having an ego and being a programmer seem completely incompatible... -
Beautility
I have had a pretty ambivalent relationship with my phone for quite a while now... -
Open Source
I was inspired today by this Medium article. I know inspiration will fade quickly, but I am hoping I can hold onto at least one thing from this article - it is never to late to start contributing to open source... -
We are Live - ish
This is the first daily post which is going to be uploaded to this new Jekyll site on the same day it was published!.. -
The Codecoaster
Programming is such a bizarre series of ups and downs... -
elijah who
Today has been a really rough day, but I whine enough in this blog, so I wanna talk about something positive instead... -
Jekyll
Today I finally got round to rebuilding my main site, where this blog will be hosted in the (near) future... -
Always Tired
Much like Post Malone, I am also a hyper-rich international hip-hop sensation always tired... -
Optimism
I'm not very good at noticing the good things in life, especially given the way I fixate on the bad... -
Stress
This week at work has been one of the most stressful I have faced so far... -
It's too late for me - save yourself
In the last few months I have become more and more disillusioned with our corporate overlords, the Big Five - Apple, Alphabet (Google's parent company), Microsoft, Facebook and Amazon... -
Relating to People
I had my first meeting with a new therapist today... -
Male Friendship
In my experiences with friendships between two men, they often neglect their emotions (apart from maybe anger), and rarely sure intimate feelings or vulnerabilities with each other...
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September
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Choose Happiness
There are an infinite number of things to be sad about today... -
Kali Linux
After procrastinating installing an SSD I bought for 4.5 months, I finally got round to doing it yesterday, even if it was the hacky-est hardware installation I've ever done... -
Critical Thinking
One thing I think my brother struggles with is critically analysing the information he is bombarded with daily - he has grown up with social media and broadly unfiltered internet access his whole life, so it's not really his fault... -
Browser Wars
Brave browser... I really want to use you... but why do so many DOM elements not work properly in you... -
Counterstrike
Following the Major this weekend, I am loving playing Counterstrike at the moment, even though it is oftentimes stressful and frustrating... -
Goodbye, old friend
As of this week, I have finally parted ways with a trusted companion of 10 years, whom I had shared much of my life with, entrusted with my darkest secrets, and shared many moments of joy, sorrow and wonder... -
We're getting the band back together!
And we're baaaaack. After a few months hiatus, I've decided to continue posting daily to this blog which nobody ever reads...
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June
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Man vs Food: Whiny Emo Edition
I feel like I’ve spent the last ten years telling people “I’m trying to lose weight”...
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May
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Nothing is real anymore
Today I learned some more about how convolutional neural networks can be trained to alter videos, such that one person's face can appear in place of another...
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April
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Simone Giertz
Today, Simone Giertz announced she had a brain tumour, in a short video posted to her Youtube channel... -
Yuck
Tired and ill today. Gonna try and write a better blog tomorrow... -
Gym
I went to the gym today for the first time in ~6 months... -
Too many things
I wonder if I think about too many things, have too many different pastimes, try to push myself in too many different areas... -
Tattoo researh
Spent a good chunk of my evening researching tattoo artists in London, there are quite a few on my shortlist, who all create gorgeous, unique, inspiring pieces of art... -
All the small things
Another day when I have had to do my best to remember, that the only things worth clinging to are the small things... -
Sleep
Having a lot of trouble sleeping recently, really need to figure it out... -
But Why?
I somewhat enjoy achievements that seem largely pointless. Runescape is a great example - people put tens of thousands of hours into the game, in order to achieve wholly arbitrary things, such as max experience in all skills... -
Kindness
I really need to learn to be kinder to myself... -
Xiu Xiu
So I discovered Xiu Xiu today... avante garde, experimental art rock - check... -
New website
The mental vision for my new personal site is slowly taking shape... -
A "real" blog
Today I finished writing a pretty long piece for my main blog, on my time playing poker and my future... -
The Dream is Dead.
29th December 2016 was my last day at Gravity Ltd... -
Death Grips
Death Grips seem to be the most talked about musicians on the internet... -
Esolangs
Today I went a good way down the esoteric programming language rabbit hole... -
Drupal
Dios mio, I started learning how to use Drupal today, an open source CMS, and this thing is powerful as heck!.. -
Aubury Update II
All the PHP is done (until I upgrade something), Aubury is basically functional in her simplest sense!.. -
The Jesse Lacey Problem
Jesse Lacey is, or perhaps was, the frontman of Long Island alt-rock/emo/post-hardcore band Brand New... -
Aubury Update I
The basic PHP for Aubury is pretty much done, with only a couple small jobs left... -
Aubury
I made a new friend today! The only problem is... -
First PHP programme!
Today I wrote a cute little script in PHP, essentially the first non-webpage coding I have done... -
ASMR
Recently I have been getting into ASMR videos to help me sleep... -
Priorities
Today, in my latest (likely futile) attempt to solve my life problems with a spreadsheet, I created a ".. -
First Week
Five things I have learned during my first week as a web ".. -
What I Want
I have been spending a lot of time recently trying to figure out what exactly I want in life... -
Low and slow
Today I learned a little about web security, and one of the things I read about which I thought were awesome, were low and slow attacks... -
Noodles
I went back to the noodle stand in the market today for the first time since September... -
My first website
My first actual site is coming along nicely. The skeleton HTML is mostly there, all the links go to the right pages, I have started a little bit of the CSS (although it's currently ugly as fuck), I've got a list of plugins I need to figure out and install, it's all versioned properly on Github, my graphic designer friend has agreed to help me for free... -
No sleep
I've been sleeping badly for the last few nights. I've decided to try one of those weird ASMR videos to see if it'll help... -
Web Dev Day 1
Day one down and I'm calling it a success. I already built a reasonably functional web page, it is currently ugly as fuck but hopefully tomorrow I can make it prettier, and give it some friends... -
New Job, New Opportunity, New Me
Tomorrow I start my new job as a junior web developer... -
Cut
I have never really watched clickbait, "cheap" videos on Youtube, I'm sure you know the kind, they tend to have far more views than they ought to, and 75% of the time they are made by Buzzfeed...
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March
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Models
I'm going to reread Models. I really hope it changes my life again, like it did the first time... -
Failure
Well, I am sleeping in my own bed tonight, to nobody's great surprise... -
The Dream is Dead
The dream is dead, but I am tired and my internet is kinda fucked... -
The Jesse Lacey Problem
Jesse Lacey is, or perhaps was, the frontman of Long Island alt-rock/emo/post-hardcore band Brand New... -
Job
Welp, I got the job. Honestly I'm kind of angry about it, it seems so unfair... -
Yarn
Somehow I missed Mcafferty's new album, Yarn, coming out on Friday, but I finally listened to it today... -
Hobo Johnson
I discovered another musician I love today, who goes by the name Hobo Johnson... -
Heroes
A non-exhaustive list of my heroes: Eric ButlerBart StarrBrian SellaNick HartkopBrenden LukensWill ToledoGerard WaySean ".. -
Guernsey Chess
Somehow I got picked for the inter insular again this year and I've ended up playing in a bunch of matches online for Team Channel Islands... -
Competition III
Still in the lead, but very tired from playing all day... -
Competition II
Currently leading the competition after day 3, got a small buffer but expect to get caught overnight while I sleep... -
Competition
This skilling competition has really shown how far I will go to win at something... -
Job Interview II
Today was the first time I have worn a suit in the last 2 and a bit years, funnily enough the last time was when the same company I interviewed at today previously offered me a job... -
Sigma Clan SOTW Competition
In just under 3 hours, the Sigma Clan Skill of the Week competition starts, and this week it is a skill I am thoroughly ambivalent about, Runecrafting... -
Pills
My work area has always been a mess. People say an untidy environment is a reflection of an untidy mind, and my mind is always a mess, so my desk is too... -
Life
Life is such a hilarious, ridiculous, frustrating, tumultuous experience. Whether or not I am actually enjoying said experience is still TBD... -
Well, I haven't done that for a while
Today I updated my CV and applied for a job, sort of... -
Sleep Deprivation
Going through the various stages of sleep deprivation today has been... -
All nighter
About to pull my first all nighter in a while... -
RSI
I'm starting to get RSI in my hands and wrists, fuck my actual life... -
To-do list
Today I did everything on my to-do list. Ahahahaha... -
An actually goodish day
I actually had a pretty good day today. Slowly bringing myself back in line with society's bell curve... -
First Video Done!
First video recorded, edited, dubbed and mixed. Sort of, it's not like I did a very good job of any of those things, but hey... -
Video Editing Project
Everything is finally set to record all the clips for the first video I want to make and upload... -
Emo Band Coming Soon II
Today Charlie played me a few riffs and a baseline for an original song, and we talked a little about structure, style and recording options... -
Being Wrong
A while ago I had a somewhat impassioned debate with someone over a subject sensitive to both of us... -
p3rs Youtube Channel Coming Soon!
Progress on my new video creation/editing project is going well, and I am super excited about it!.. -
Another new project
Today I made a start on another new creative project, something I am excited about... -
Never Hungover Again
My last therapist insisted that alcohol was bad for my mood... -
Emo Band Coming Soon
Today my brother asked said he wanted to start an emo band... -
More Poker
I played a short session today and it was definitely the best one of the year so far...
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February
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Things That Go Bump in The Night III
I did it! I watched all the way through It... -
Snow
It snowed today in Guernsey, something which only happens every few years... -
FaceIt Major 2018
It turns out the next CSGO major is being held in London... -
Things That Go Bump In The Night II
I have been binge watching psychological horror movies this last week, and it is a really interesting genre to me... -
Useless Skills
Today I learned a spectacularly useless skill, but I'm quite excited about it... -
Internet Friends
These days it seems more socially acceptable to meet new people and make new friends via the internet... -
Shadow of the Colossus
I've spent my entire evening watching Day9 play through the new remastered edition of Shadow of the Colossus, and this game is disgustingly gorgeous... -
Poker
I've been playing poker a little bit over the past few days, and things are coming back to me... -
Running II
Guernsey is a small place, and I have lived here the majority of my life... -
Vir Esto
In 2012, I was busy pouring hundreds of hours into Valve's Team Fortress 2, when I heard they were making a new game, and it was in beta - Defense of the Ancients 2... -
Movie Reviews III
Django Unchained A great all around film, after watching this and Pulp Fiction I think I am going to try and make my way through all of Tarantino's films in the upcoming weak... -
Movie Reviews II
Ex Machina Before watching this film I read a review saying that it made a point about the way woman are treated in society, and I spent the whole time trying to work out what exactly that point was, to no avail... -
Twin Fantasy (2018)
Car Seat Headrest is the name Will Toledo has been releasing music under since 2010, when it was originally a solo project... -
Pulmonary Archery
Pulmonary Archery is the 11th and final track on Alexisonfire's 2002 eponymous debut album... -
Things That Go Bump In The Night
I very rarely watch films but after enjoying my 4-movie binge yesterday, I'm going to try and watch a few more films this week... -
Movie Reviews
Given my seemingly infinite amount of free time at the moment, today I took it upon myself to catch up on some film classics I've still never seen, as well as a great new film from last year... -
Hoops
We play basketball as a warm up for most fencing sessions, and everyone, myself included, is terrible... -
Chemistry Homework
One evening last week, at 11:30pm, my brother came into my room and asked me to do his chemistry homework for him, as it was due the next day and he had not done it... -
Poker
This evening I played my first few hands of poker in over 6 weeks... -
Steve Reich
Steve Reich is a contemporary minimalist composer whose music I have enjoyed for the past 6 or 7 years after studying one of his pieces at school and falling in love with it, and in doing so the whole genre of minimalism... -
Tim
At the local chess club, one of the veteran players is an older gentleman named Tim... -
Nail Painting
Painting my nails has been a surprisingly enlightening experience, and has a few benefits... -
Falcon Heavy
Today I was worried I would struggle to type something positive today, but then I watched the Falcon Heavy test launch... -
Dieting
It’s very early days but so far I am very happy with how I am finding intermittent fasting and loosely “dieting”... -
Running
I went for a run today, and I can't remember the last time I did that, it could easily be over a year ago... -
Guitar II
It's so amazing to progress at something I find joy in... -
Day 1
Day one of new diet is in the books, not too bad so far... -
The next big freeroll
Tomorrow my next freeroll starts with Sam, to get under 180lbs...
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January
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GSL
One of the main benefits of being back in this timezone is that I can get up early to watch the GSL, and that's exactly what I did today... -
What's the point?
I often feel guilty about how I choose to spend my time if I am not doing something I think is productive... -
Free money
This is really the easiest $100 I have ever made in my life, it's gonna feel so good when I rub it all over my titties!.. -
Eleague Major II
The final of the Major was tonight and I think it is the most excited I have been about anything in months... -
Eleague Major
Oh man Eleague has been so good today. Counterstrike has one of the highest skillcaps of any major esports title and in the semi finals it was really on show, with two of the best aimers in the world facing off against each other on the semi finals, producing shots that shouldn't even be possible... -
Switching off
This week I have got into the habit of switching my phone off for almost all of the day, only switching it on again in the evening so I can set an alarm on it... -
Guitar
Learning a new skill entirely from scratch is great because you get the delicious feeling of improvement with minimal effort... -
Shingeki no Kyojin
Season 3 of Shingeki no Kyojin was announced to be airing in July of this year and I can't remember the last time I was this excited about something... -
Running out of ideas
I really feel like I am running out of ideas for what to write here... -
Starting again, again (again)
First time with a new therapist for the millionth time tomorrow... -
Close call
Well I really nearly forgot to write today... fortunately it turns out not being able to sleep has some advantages and I remembered just in time... -
Alcohol III
series: ["Alcohol"] Last night and this morning were the happiest I have been so far this year, all thanks to alcohol... -
Alcohol II
Going for a drink tonight for the first time in almost 3 weeks and I'm worryingly excited... -
Overwatch League II
I think I have already written a couple of times about how much esports has grown since I started following it, but I feel like writing about it again... -
Twitter
Yesterday I finally made use of the muted words feature on Twitter, and now any tweets containing the words ".. -
Storms
There is a storm here, and I really love it... -
Blue Monday
Today is supposedly the most depressing day of the year... -
AGDQ II
I am always very happy to be wrong, especially so this time... -
Overwatch League
I finally got to catch some of week 1 of Overwatch League this week, and so far it seems to be a huge step towards legitimising esports... -
Resolutions
I guess by now >50% have already failed their new year's resolutions... -
Old School Runescape
I first played this game back in elementary school, so I guess I was 10 or so, and took my first internet screen name from it... -
Being a role model
Even talking about being a role model feels a little arrogant to me... -
Finishing what has been started
Throughout my life, I have been often failed to finish what I started, and often gave up when things became difficult... -
AGDQ
I have been looking forward to Awesome Games Done Quick 2018 for a few months now, planning on taking time out of my schedule since then to watch as much of it as I could, as I love the event every year... -
Taking things slow
When trying to make positive changes in my life, I often want to do everything at once, to wake up tomorrow and make a whole bunch of drastic lifestyle changes and somehow just try really hard to make them stick... -
Passion
Watching more Dota again today and remembered the way I used to feel about this game five years ago... -
Captain's Draft 4.0
I spent much of yesterday and today watching Captain's Draft 4... -
Sugar Pine 7
It's interesting how involved I (and presumably other people) can get involved in shows, or in this case, Youtube shows with weird meta concepts... -
The Room
Last night I watched the infamous film, "The Room" with Lisa, which is already pretty funny given two of the protagonists of the film are named Johnny and Lisa themselves... -
Aokigahara
Today the internet seems ablaze with the news that an incredibly popular youtube (>15m subs) published a video filmed in Aokigahara forest, often dubbed the ".. -
2018
Well, I made it to 2018, just about. Last night I was so drunk I ate an entire lemon, peel and everything...
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2017
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December
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Washing the dishes
I have historically underrated washing the dishes. It's relaxing and easy, you get the feeling of productivity very cheaply... -
New Year
The New Year is supposed to mark a time of reflection on the old year, and a sense of looking forward to the new one... -
Ramblings IV
I'm so tired and my body hurts, I feel like I am getting sick, probably due to lack of sleep, junk food and alcohol... -
Ramblings III
I feel like I want to start again. I want to be a different person, with different values and expectations for myself and people around me... -
Ramblings II
Today I am in the Golden Lion, one of my favourite pubs in Guernsey... -
Ramblings I
It is 8:45am and I am sat in Wetherspoons in Gatwick airport enjoying a pint of Heineken... -
Steps forwards, backwards and/or sideways
Today I fly home, unsure about my future and whether this ".. -
Liberation
I cannot remember even close to the exact quote, but it is something along the lines of ".. -
A love letter to Midwest Emo
Emo is probably one of the most contentious genres of music, with little consensus at to what exactly constitutes being an emo band, great debate over whether or not specific groups are deserving of the label, not to mention the wide range of opinions on the sub culture... -
(Trying to) be a better person
The goal of trying to be a "better" person is unhelpful vague, painful unoriginal, and frankly only becoming of someone with neither intelligence nor ambition... -
_______ of the Year
In keeping with the theme of trying to write more upbeat blog posts, here is a collection of some stuff I thought was cool from this year:.. -
Having a blog
... is so embarrassing. I don't like people finding out I have a blog and post my thoughts on the internet... -
Productive vacation
I've decided to take a little bit (more) of time off from playing poker, but I don't want to have a complete holiday, I think I would get bored of the beach pretty quickly... -
Brood War
Brood War is nuts to me. A game that is going to be 20 years old next year, still has a wide playerbase both at a professional and casual level, is widely regarded as one of the best games ever created... -
Alcohol
The relationship I have with alcohol is strange. I like drinking a lot, but have always felt guilty about it, because it is unhealthy... -
New York
Hoy estoy muy emocionado porque voy a ir a New York en febrero!.. -
La musica
Cuando las cosas son difíciles, la música siempre me consuela... -
La gente
La gente es frustrante, difícil y molesta. Creo que la palabra perfecta para la gente es ".. -
Mutiny
Desde que estuve en México, la misma canción ha quedado atrapada en mi cabeza... -
Las pequeñas cosas
Es las pequeñas cosas que hacen un lugar se siente como en casa... -
Dungeons and Dragons
I have loved Dungeons and Dragons since I was a small child... -
Duerme
Hoy estoy muy cansando. Estoy emocionado por mi cama esta noche... -
Cuentos cortos
Pienso que escribar algunos cuentos cortos, creo que sería divertido... -
Cryptokitties
Hoy, leo sobre Cryptokitties, porque Haralabob hable mucho sobre eso... -
Mendokusai
Mendokusai is one of my favourite words. It's Japanese, and means ".. -
Tinder en México
Anoche y esta mañana hablo con niña rusa sobre Tinder... -
Clásico del ajedrez de Londres
Esta semaña es el Clásico del Ajedrez de Londres, uno de los mejoy-valorados torneos de año... -
El ladrón
En mañana, mi amigo en la oficina, Dave Hoffman de Plato, fue robado... -
La Amistad
Las amistades son dura, porque mucho del tiempo no sabe qué hacer o qué dicer... -
Te gusta el jazz, Evan?
Anoche fuimos al "Riviera Maya Jazz Festival" en la playa... -
Tacos nuevos
Anoche fuimos al "El Ñero", una taquiera un 40th y Juarez...
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November
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La vida
La vida es dura, y a menudo doloroso. Estar consciente es agotador, y estoy cansado... -
El plan para diciembre
En diciembre voy a trabajar trescientos horas, tan aproximadamente diez horas por dia... -
Poker, Balance, and Mental Health
This month I have been thinking a lot about poker, and how it fits into my life as a whole... -
Inspiración
Hoy observé un podcast con "cumicon", un legendario jugador de poker... -
Volver a trabajo
Hoy mi vacacion pequeño se acabó, y jugo poker de nuevo... -
El torneo de ajedrez
Hoy jugué en un torneo de ajedrez y.... gané! Había cinco rondas y gané todo mis partidos, tan marqué 5/5... -
Mi amigo Sam
Mi amigo Sam está llegando a Playa del Carmen en mayo para vacaciones... -
Mia dia libre II
Hoy es mi dia libre real. No jugué ningún poker en absoluto!.. -
Mi dia libre
Hoy es mi dia libre.... excepto he estado en la oficina todo el día, y jugué poker durante cinco horas... -
Mis amigos
Hoy estoy agradecido para mis amigos. No tengo mucho, pero los tengo son los mejores... -
El sueño
Estoy cansando. Lanoche encendi mi refrigerator, y es muy ruidoso, tan no dormí mucho... -
Corte de pelo
Hoy corto mió cabello para la primera vez. Está más corto de lo que nunca ha sido, pero me gusta... -
Mi mejor amiga
En mañana hablé con mi mejor amiga, me hecho muy feliz... -
Trabajo dura
Toda mi vida, nunca trabajé muy dura, pero ahorra es todo quiero... -
Diez cosas sobre mi novia
Ella siempre me sostiene estrechamenteElla siempre ahí para yo, como si ella es parte de míElla nunca se irá para un otro hombreElla siempre hace lo que digoElla nunca quiere que gastae dinero en ellaElla ama jugar videojuegos conmigoElla nunca usa ropa (aparte de a veces en el invierno)Ella es muy paciente y nunca está enojada conmigoElla me alimenta todo el tiempoElla tiene un pulgar oponible.. -
La salida más fácil
En mañana, he oído que tomé "la salida más fácil".. -
Una perra pequeña
En la oficina está una perra pequeña, quien es la mascota de Moni... -
Ajedrez
Hoy empieza el campeonato de computadora ajedrez, en el cual las mejoras machinas de ajedrez jugará y uno será coronado el rey del computadoras y el mejor juegar de ajedrez todos el monde!.. -
Pesadillas
El retiro de meditacion era muy aterrador para yo, tambien me fui... -
Mañana
Mañana voy en un retiro de meditacion para seis dias... -
Sábado
Hoy es sábado, y estoy en la oficina por supuesto... -
Swiss Army Man
Anoche vi una película llama "Swiss Army Man", con Paul Dano y Daniel Radcliffe... -
Diez cosas he aprendido en Español
Los númerosLos diás de semanaSer, estar, haber y tener en tiempo presenteOrdenar mi desayuno favoritoHablar con la mujer de lavanderiaUna cerveza, por favorMi ropaMi familiaQuién, cuál, cuánto, cómo y quéPuto madre!.. -
Veinte tres
Es mi cumpleaños! Hoy tengo veinte tres años, como mi canto favorito de Blink 182... -
Success
This week I have been trying to follow this set of goal setting exercises, one of which was to write down a list of 100 of my successes in my life... -
Ten ideas to make me hate myself for writing a blog less
I will not lose this bet. If it comes down to it, I will write on this blog every day for the rest of my life, and simply outlive my opponent... -
Goals
Goals seem important, although I am not entirely sure. I think they are meant to provide motivation, and a sense of fulfillment once complete... -
Variance I
My best friend in high school used to say to me ".. -
The type of people who write blogs
I can't stand people that have blogs, let alone people that have two like me - it's so pretentious... -
Failure vs regret
I am constantly scared of failure, even if I know it is irrational... -
The Office
The office is getting fuller now than when I first came to Playa, I suppose because November is the start of high season... -
Problems
I've been thinking about how people relate to each other's problems a lot...
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October
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Mi
Hola, me llamo Jonny y tengo veinte dos años. Estoy jugador de poker y viviendo en México hace seis semanas... -
Awful pseudo-deep post about emotions #4713
My emotions feel disproportionately strong compared to how long they last... -
Bad dreams
Do you know that feeling when you sleep on your hand for a solid 8 hours?.. -
Poker sucks
I wrote yesterday about patience being one of the keys to success, and how I had too little of it... -
The recipe for success
I recently reread some of my old blog posts, and found one where I talked about what I thought the keys to success were: self-awareness, patience, and work ethic... -
Gotta Go Fast II
Yesterday I listened to this episode of the Frame Savers podcast with Darbian as the guest, released in March of last year... -
Time
I wish I had more time... time to learn to code, to learn Spanish, to learn Japanese, to learn about crypto, to play videogames, to watch other people play videogames, to learn to play guitar, to read books, to binge youtube videos... -
Beware of the dog
I've been scared of dogs for as long as I remember... -
Personal top 5 moments in esports
In no particular order: Happy's deagle ace at Dreamhack London.. -
Joji
Joji finally announced his first full EP for November 4th and I haven't been this excited about new music in a long time... -
Balancing the coin
Forming good habits is hard, and I struggle with it all the time... -
I love you
Yesterday my roommate posted this, and it made me think... -
Ghosts
Having people from my past message me is a weird experience... -
Five Things I've Learned During Five Weeks in Mexico
Leaving my comfort zone is good, but I have to keep doing it... -
Plenty More Fish In The Sea
Looking back at it, my first serious relationship was really, really terrible, even abusive... -
Radical Honesty
I can't remember when I first heard about the concept of Radical Honesty, but it interested me a lot given that I take almost the opposite stance... -
Gotta Go Fast
Ever since I have been very interested in video games, my family and most of my friends have largely thought I've been wasting my time, mindlessly clicking buttons and undergoing no personal growth of any kind... -
Gambling and catharsis
The problem with living with another poker player is that there is altogether too much gambling in the air at any time...
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August
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Siddhartha and Me
I hope this post will be the first of several, and marks the beginning of a journey...
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June
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The Path
“thinking a bit more about the gto club experience and something i heard the other day (in 'the subtle art of not giving a fuck')...
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March
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My Black Dog
The sadness is like a blanket now. It’s as if it’s raining outside, and I am underneath the blanket, away from the world, dry and relatively warm... -
Looking in the mirror
I’ve been overweight my whole life, bar a few months here and there when my eating habits were less than advisable... -
What if I had epilepsy?
What if I had epilepsy? If I had a family history of epilepsy, perhaps my parents would’ve told me about it when I was younger, so I could be prepared if it I had a seizure... -
Clicking Buttons
Two months ago I made the decision to quit my job to play online poker full time...
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February
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Joe Ingram's GTO Club Review
In August last year, I reached out to Joey to ask him for more details about his new ".. -
Crying, cutting myself, and writing depressing poetry
Looking back, I’ve probably displayed symptoms of depression in some way for the last ten years, since I was 12... -
What I learned from giving up porn - or at least trying to.
(Originally posted on http://www.medium.com on 10th Nov 2016) TL,DR; it’s hard, in more ways than one... -
The Depths of the Blog
I am one of the most introverted people I know, which to me is quite remarkably, given a lot of people I know have been met either through online gaming or online poker, two decidedly antisocial activities...
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